Monday, February 15, 2010

And My Weekend Went A Lil' Somethin' Like This..., Who The F*ck You Talkin' To?. and Reading Rainbow...

What's up? I hope everyone is done swapping spit (and other miscellaneous body fluids) from last night. I saw the nastiest troll ass couples locking lips last night, I so wanted to pull a Zoe (as in Rachel=make myself puke).
Anyways, I had a pretty quiet weekend. Nothing like my normal debauchery. On Friday my sweet muff Ky'Leigh (isn't she just a gem?)


and I went to the cutest party ever. It was called "Hearts and Skulls", it was an anti-Valentine's Day Valentine's Day party thrown by the one and only Phillipa Hughes. There was horror movies, pizza, cocktails, music, and art. What's better than that. There were papers with either hearts or skulls on them that you could color while you were there.

Ky'Leigh chose a heart. We both chose to use red and black, and we didn't even know--how weird right? That's a pretty cool heart, but it's no fair because she's an artist.

I chose a skull. I did it in memory of Alexander McQueen. I was wishing that I had some crystals to put on the skull, but my crystal knuckle ring held under the picture had to do the trick.
Sidebar: A cute boy walked up to Ky'Leigh and I's table and invited himself to sit down and draw with us. I love playing matchmaker, and I was already picturing how cute Ky'Leigh and his kids would be. After a little small talk, and a lot of drawing the most hideous girl walks over to our table and says, "What are you doing babe?" Uggghhhh! I didn't even want to look at her for fear that I'd turn to stone. She stayed there to keep tabs on him, but he couldn't resist sneaking random peeks a Ky'Leigh's perfect breast. Besides, his pasty dry homely plain Talbot's wearing weak ass girlfriend didn't have any for him to stare at. He had no idea how cute he was, and how dreadful she was. I was thinking of grabbing him by the arm, kicking her in the va-jay jay, and making a run for it. I have at least 3 hot girlfriends I could have fixed him up with. What a waste of hotness!
After the party, we met Mike Deezy and B Hizzle at a lounge called FLY. There was a fair amount of people there, but they were ALL wack. The music is always sick (big ups Dirty Hands), but the crowd looked like something out of a Land's End catalogue. It was a drunk white boy convention that I never signed up for. They kept bumping into me until I had enough. I seriously was about to fight one of them (or all of them). Before I caught a case, I thought it was time for us to leave. You wait just oooonnneee second: Not until I took gay pictures in the bathroom mirror with a tranny...

She's not really a tranny, she just plays one in real life. She missed her calling.

The next morning I popped outta bed like a piece of bread out of the toaster. It was time to work. It wasn't as dreadful as it ALWAYS is, the time went by fairly quickly. Before I knew it I was home in bed. I had a marathon sleep session, and woke up feeling rested yesterday morning.
I was excited to spend Valentine's night with my sweet Valentine. I had no clue where we were having dinner, it was all a surprise to me.
My honey knows me so well, Ruth Chris it was! I hadn't been in quite a while, and I was craving the seafood gumbo. I had surf and turf, and finished it off with dessert. I felt like Precious after dinner, I was soooo full.

Our waiter was a queen, and told us that they had over 700 reservations yesterday. He also told us that him and his boyfriend were moving back to New York. I didn't ask him any of this though. I swear I must look like Dr. Phil sometimes, cause motherfuckers always wanna lay on my couch, and spill their tea (tell me their business). Hmmmm....
After dinner we both had "the itis", so we headed back home. I gave my sweetheart some of his gifts, including this lollipop I picked up at one of my favorite Christian book stores...

(blank stare)

Great company, an amazing dinner, great "you know what" (wink)...

Happy belated Valentine's Day cocksuckers!

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If you guys watch Judge Joe Brown, you should know how his ass talks to some of the people that come into his courtroom. Well, this time I think he met his match. This trade wasn't having it. I definitely got life, and maybe a little turned on after the guy told Judge Joe to "fuck off", and that he was leaving. The guy was clearly lying, but he couldn't see Judge Joe talking to him any kind of way. Check out the clip here...
I die!

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While I'm riding the train, I always see people reading. I like to make up imaginary books in my head that they may be reading, or that they may have at home in their collections.
What do you think they're reading, I wanna know?

He's a trainer during the day (don't ask me how I know), so I see him wanting to show his body off at night. I see him reading "Make the money, Don't let it Make You!"

I don't even think his old ass can even see what he's reading, but if he COULD see it, I would say he was checking out the wedding announcements in the Sunday New York Times.

She probably has a Black man at home, so I'm thinking she's reading "Soul Food for White Chicks".

This queen is reading "Fisting For Dummies!" Definitely! Hands down...

This old dyke has to be reading "Women are from Venus, Women are from Venus".

hmmmm....

1 comment:

Icy said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Lol at the serve telling you his whole life story. OMG.. i hate when people do that. That party sounds like it was fun.. wish I knew about it