Monday, January 10, 2011

And My Weekend Went A Little Something Like This, You Put Your Right Hand In--You Put Your Right Hand Out, Touch!, and "You Can Be My Black Kate Moss"

Good Morning everyone! I'm hoping that your weekend was as grand as mine. Totally kidding! I had the most boring weekend ever. Bits of fun were thrown in, but nothing like my usual. That's ok though, because next weekend I'm gonna host a "Sip and See" at my house just like Phaedra from Real Housewives of Atlanta. If you don't know what a "Sip and See" is, it's when you invite your family and friends over to your house to see your newborn baby. While they "See" your baby, they "Sip" on cocktails. So Southern!

No I don't have a baby yet, but I'm sure I can buy, borrow or rent one online in the meantime. Right? I can't wait for people to come over to see my borrowed or newly stolen baby while they sip on mojitos and Jack Daniels of course. So exciting!

Well, one of the reasons for my boring weekend was this...


Yeah, I meant to alarm you. That's gross right? Well how do you think I felt? I actually had the procedure. Ugh. The picture is of a Chalazion removal surgery, and yours truly had one on my eyelid that had to be removed. A chalazion is when an oil gland gets backed up. Some disappear on their own, but much like the host it was squatting on, this one was a stubborn little bitch. I lived with that thing for almost 2 months. I was happy to see it go, but the parting was bittersweet. The motherfuckers had to flip my eyelid and make an incision on the inside of the lid, scoop the goop out, and flip my shit back down.

Who the fuck even knew what a Chalazion was? It sounds little a ghetto girl name to me. "Hey Chalazion girl, I like those jeans!"

Anyways, thank God the surgery went well. I was only down for the weekend, but your boy is back.

During recovery, I managed to slip into The Four Seasons for a drink...

...and yesterday J and I went ice skating. I wore fur and scared all of the kids at the rink. It was fun. After I thawed out, it was time to watch the Sunday Chitterling Circuit lineup--'Basketball Wives', "Real Housewives of ATL", 'What Chilli Wants', and 'Ray J and Brandy'. Sundays couldn't get any blacker! All I needed to watch was ROOTS, and then my Nigger 101 training class would be complete. (snickers) Ahhh, Blacks are fun!

Have a great day!
____________________________________________

TINY


If you guys haven't heard about Tiny giving T.I. a hand job while visiting him in prison by now, where the fuck have you been? Yeah, that scary ghetto slave sounding Muppet looking ho Tiny couldn't resist practicing her Shake It Weight routine on her hubby while visiting him in the pen. Say what you want about her, but she is definitely a ride or die chick. If your man takes care of you how T.I. appears to take care of her, she better give him a hand job!

I would have shown up to visit him in jail with a trench coat with nothing on underneath, with nipple clamps on, a butt plug in, and a rubber gag ball in my mouth. Anything to keep T.I. lacing me with all of the Louis Vuitton I could ever ask for. She's not stupid. That girl is going places, and I need her freak techniques. T.I. is one of the rappers that you never hear infidelity rumors about. Tiny must have that snapper son.

Anyway, some guard was twat blocking and broke them up, so T.I. never got to "finish". That's one job that I'd love to apply for. (winks at T.I.) Always willing to lend a helping hand!
___________________________________________________

OMARION


You guys remember Cocodorm, I mean B2K right? Well, little Ms. Omarion formally of Cocodorm, I mean B2K has come out denying the bisexual rumors.

This weekend a fake press release was sent out saying that Omarion was a "proud bisexual man". I wish they would just leave these guys alone. Omarion isn't bisexual for Christ sakes! Geesh, he's full on gay!

With an ass like that? God Damn son! You can't tell me that him and Raz-B weren't having DOWN! Those lips of Raz's and that ass of Omarion's was the perfect marriage, and I'm sure they joined in blissful matrimony on more than a couple of occasions.

I myself am tired of the "he said, she said" gay rumors between these guys. Can they just all get together and make a porn already? I'd have that in my shopping cart on ThugMart.com before you could say "Bump, Bump, Bump..." Trust me on that one.


What a cute little tumbler of water he is. Poor confused baby!
____________________________________________

KATE


On the list of things that gave me life this week, this was definitely in the top 5. Check out that coke snorting beautiful British cunt in a video for Balmain. When you've been in the modeling game for as long as she has, all she has to do is lay on a couch for 3 minutes to collect what I'm sure was a beat coin. Balmain is amazing, Kate is amazing, and so is this video. Enjoy.


3 comments:

TOY COUTURE said...

I need to hop down to The Four Seasons for one of those! Looks good!! :) Happy your surgery went well.

Great Post!

Q said...

Yes you must! Thanks boo!

Hung said...

This is cool!