Wednesday, February 10, 2010

And My Weekend Went A Lil' Somethin' Like This (The Wednesday Edition), Groupie Love?, Reggie Got Some Bush, and It's Dynasty Wednesday!

Yeah, so this is the scene outside my apartment this morning. Get into the blizzard like conditions. I missed Round 1 of the snow because of my NY trip, but I'm enjoying being off work from Round 2.
Ya'll know how many babies that will be born (or not) right around November? You snowed in, what you gonna do besides eat and fuck? I rebuke that, I will NOT be fat after this damn storm. And good for me that I won't get pregnant either, I'm on YAZ.
Anyways, I got the hell outta dodge on Friday morning on the 4 a.m. train. I basically got no sleep because the night before I was partying it up at my dear friend Joey's birthday party. I made it to New York by 7:15 a.m. I had the biggest headache EVER! I'm not sure if it was from sleep deprivation, or the alcohol from the night before, but damn! Maybe I needed some breakfast?
Norman and I headed over to Cafeteria in good 'ol Chelsea to grab an early morning bite. I don't even really recall eating because I was so tired. It's times like these that you wish there were restaurants that served IV dishes. I had no energy to eat, I just wanted them to shoot the nutrients straight into my blood stream. After breakfast, luckily for us our room was ready for early check in.
Off to the Roger Williams Hotel it was. I had stayed here twice before and loved it, so I knew what to expect. It's a little further uptown than I like to stay (31st and Madison), but I make it work. After a nap I was ready for some shopping!
SOHO, Meatpacking District, West Broadway, Oh my! It's a wonder Bank of America didn't flag "suspicious activity" on my account, because I was swiping that bitch every opportunity I could

I got some amazing vintage boots from Brooklyn Circus. They hurt like shit, but it's nothing my cobbler can't fix. Besides, a little pain never hurt anybody.

After Friday, the days ran together until I left on Monday afternoon...

I saw one of the biggest weddings I've ever seen in my life letting out at the cathedral on 5th ave. These motherfuckers had to be caked up like shit son! From what I could see inside the church, it looked amazing, the bride looked dry though.

There's my love Colleen (my roommate while I lived in NY). We were having brunch at one of our favorite spots on the west side called Cafe Cluny. Do you see the two cunts in the background? They were talking some major shit about the girls sitting right by me. Obviously they knew them. They were exchanging some major dirty looks during brunch. It was catty and juvenile--I loved it!

Here is the scene at one of the restaurants we went to one night. I keep forgetting the name, but it won't do you any good anyways because they don't have a telephone number. You get in how you fit in. Don't ask me how, but I now have the maitre d's digits. The dinner was amazing, but wasn't as amazing as all of the Balmain sightings! They were battling! So many Birkins in such a small square footage!

You know I had to visit one of my favorite gay dive bars "The Cock". I like it better when it was on 12th and A, but the new location will do. This is the bathroom. I was getting design ideas, I just may spray paint "SPERM" on my bathroom walls (blank stare)? Anyways, "The Cock" usually delivers twink go-go boys, perhaps an appearance from Amanda Lepore, and always trashy boys making out to electro/punk music. It's like Disneyland. Well, if Disneyland were a small gay dive bar in a seedy New York neighborhood with slutty twink go-go boys who probably like to get fisted?

I saw Fela on Broadway. It was amazing. I never knew his story, but now I do. I definitely recommend it. The singing and dancing were both spectacular, and there is a drummer who performs shirtless for the whole first act. What else does one need?

I hate Times Square, but it was nice to stroll through.

I did some shopping in in Chelsea.

I went to Spice Market for dinner. It was amazing! Luckily for us, it was Restaurant Week, so we ordered everything.
While at the restaurant, I met a guy in the restroom who took a liking to me for some reason? He dragged me upstairs to meet his friend who I swear to goodness recognized me from D.C. He obviously lived in the district for a couple of months, and had seen me out. I'm wearing a disguise from now on when I leave my house--maybe like the glasses with the nose and moustache attached?

Add countless train and cab rides, even more meals, cocktails, and many outfits, you'll get the rest of my New York trip. I always feel alive when I go. The energy I feel when I arrive in that city is next to none. I will move back one day. Hopefully before D.C. sucks all of the life out of my ass.
I returned home on Monday night. I dropped my bags and went out for drinks. I needed one after the journey home. I hit up Monday night at Marvin's. The music is always bangin', but the venue is way too small. I was about to slap the living shit outta this white girl for swinging her hair like she didn't have any sense. Did she forget she was in a packed ass club? She was swinging her nasty ass hair, and kept brushing it on my neck. I tapped her on her shoulder and said, "Your hair! You keep swinging it, and it's bothering me!" Of course I looked like the angry man, but who cares. I bet you as "drunk" as her ass was, she stopped. On more hair toss, and I would have flipped her upside down and used her as a mop. As the night went on, it got more packed, I couldn't take it. I left. I made my way back home to unpack and do laundry.

Yesterday was my sweet child Norman's birthday!

We braved the snow, and headed over to our favorite Happy Hour at Grillfish.

There's the Ginger Calamari, it makes me wet.

Which brings me to today. It's Wednesday. I'm off because of the snow. Nap time! Besos.


Ummm, so I'm guessing Bobby Valentino has released pictures of him with multiple "jumpoffs/groupies/whores/dumbasses". All of the pictures were taken by him with his Iphone in a mirror. What a fucking queen! Only gays take mirror pictures--well gays and my girlfriend Nikki (big ups "Griff").
(raising hand) I'm so sorry, but could I just ask one question? Who the fuck would be a groupie for Bobby Valentino's Keebler Elf lollipop kid Napolean complex "If you're not this tall you can't ride this ride" short 4' 9" short sawed off ass? Maybe he makes up for the height in other places (searching web for Bobby V nude pictures), but I still don't think I could see it? The hottest song he had was the "Beep Beep" remix, and that was because of Lil Kim...

"Yeah, it's your girl! Q-U- Double E- N- B- Double E
I back it up, switch it up just for you daddy
Dior lipstick, kiss your tattoos daddy
I'm wit you for the night, just play your cards right
I'll let you do some thangs to me
i'm a hundred the bigotti- ceasar picatti's
heals on my feet, i'm in the drivers seat
while you beep beep beep
who needs the freak of the week
you want the freak of the century
open up the history books it's gonna mention me
boys call me kandy girl aka the truth
haha honey girl, for me he got a sweet tooth
he gon drown in my eh eh woah
i hope that watch is water proof"

(rolls eyes) Bobby Valentino...hmmmpphhh!


So I missed the Superbowl because I couldn't see watching it. I did catch recaps, and I also caught Kim and her family trying to steal Reggie's shine after his win. I can just her Kim talking to her sisters now.
Kim: "Kourtney, I swear to God you are so jealous of my Bentley, and my Birkin, and my relationship with Reggie that you had to have a baby to try and steal my shine. You are so jealous, and it hurts my feelings that you cant be happy for me and my Bentley, and my Birkin, and Reggie!"

Kris: (yelling) "Kourtney, you better apologize to your sister now for being so selfish and having a baby when you knew Reggie might go to the Superbowl! How low of you!

Check out the video here... Kim was even smiling with her eyes into the camera. I live!

By show of hands, how many of you believe Kim gave Reggie that "good shit" on Superbowl night? That's what I thought too!

It's Wednesday, so you know what that means (jumping up and down)! I stumbled upon this clip randomly. It's a 'Dynasty' clip with the most hilarious voice over ever. I guess someone else out there has a thing for the 8o's drama as well. Enjoy fuckers!


Deontek said...

This snow is getting crazy here..... and Bobby V. needs to sit down lol.

Jahayra said...

Love love the blog! Nikki put me on to it and I love your delish recaps on everything! Write on!!!

Blogger said...

There's a chance you're eligible for a free Apple iPhone 7.