Why doesn't anybody ever listen to me? Have you guys heard about the famous Hollywood Madame that says Will Smith ordered male escorts from her? I have said for years that Will and Jada are swingers. That's why they are so happy. She munches a little carpet, he slobs a little nob, bada bing bada bang--a happy marriage it makes.
I wonder if Will is a top or a bottom? Wouldn't it slay if he was a nasty pig catcher? Oh what I would do to hear Will croon, "Oooh Daddy"! I would get so much life. On second thought, can't you see Jada strapping it on and getting her man? I sure can. Ummmmm....
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Stop it, Stop it...I can't take it anymore. No more of the fucking foolishness that is Chance and Real. I thought I saw the last of them on 'I love New York'. Nope, Vh-1 had to bring us a reality game show with the two corn ball brothers. Now they have their own dating show called 'Real Chance of Love'. Are they kidding me? I'm definitely a fan of reality television, but this just has to stop. Are Chance and Real serious? I hope they are just doing this for the cameras, because if they are this corny, I'm gonna have to find them and mace the shit out of them.
I will have to admit having a slight crush on Chance during 'I Love New York'. The crush has definitely been crushed. He is repulsive to me. I don't want to date a man who has more baby hair than me. I just couldn't see it. While we're on the subject of hair... Real's hair is gorgeous, I'm not even gonna hate, but what in the Fabio? What in the Pink Oil Moisturizer? What in the Rick James? What in the Dark and Lovely? What in the Marsha Brady brush strokes? What in the Mary had a little lamb ringlets? Anyways, I didn't wanna say for sure, but is that eye-liner on him? The only black man that should be wearing eye-liner is Lil "Shut-Up" Richard. Someone please remove these corn muffins from my television. I tried to mace the screen on Sunday night, but nothing happened. Help!
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On a serious note, with less than two weeks left until the election I'm urging everyone to vote. I'm sure I'm not the only one unhappy with the state of our country right now? It could definitely get worse if we make the wrong choice on Tuesday, November 4th. I am officially endorsing Obama, so vote for him or else I'll find you and mace you.
photo: AP
