Showing posts with label CoCo T. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CoCo T. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

And My Holiday Went A Little Something Like This, Dead Birds--Angry Birds, Playboy: The Cougar Edition, and Happy New Year From Coco T



Hey fuckers. Happy holidays, yadda yadda yadda. I took a brief blogging vacation during the holidays. I've also been on my work flow. Besides, it's so hectic blogging while drinking, and you try typing on a computer while making out under mistletoe. It's not easy, let me tell you. I hope everyone got exactly what they wanted for Christmas. I also hope you all took just bit of time to reflect and think about just how blessed we all are. I'm so grateful for my life, even though it may seem soooooo bad at times! I'm just being a baby. No bitchassness from me in 2011. We'll see how long this lasts?

Before I start off today, I'd like to wish my Kappas a Happy Founder's Day. The organization has been around for 100 years.



Wow, that's awesome. Many groups find it hard to stay together for a full calendar year. And while I never was interested in Greek life or was a Kappa myself, I definitely have had many different fraternities in me. Oh, I also used to watch 'A Different World', so that counts for something.

Anywho. On New Years Eve I was invited to my brother's uncle's restaurant for a surprise engagement soiree.

There's the happy couple Borzou and Nikki. My brother proposed on New Year's Eve at an intimate dinner, and then surprised her with family and friends shortly after. What a great way to bring in the New Year--happy and newly engaged. Congrats Brother, I love you!

There's my boo J at the party. I'm believing new Year's Eve is the only holiday where cardboard accessories are acceptable.

There's my bestie boo Normie and my brother Robert behind him throwing up gang signs.

So while we were having an intimate dinner on NYE, just across town my husband Chris Brown was doing the dougie at club LOVE. Check him out here...


Wow, I think I would let him beat me like he did Rihanna, no bullshit! So cute! I'm sure it's worth it.

On the other side of the country in Vegas, my other husband Kanye was partying it up with Jay Z, Beyonce, Gwenyth Paltrow, Rihanna and friends...



On New Years Day I chilled around the house and prepared to have some friends over. It was going to be a girls night. My sisters Yaneek, Darleata, Meta, Tamika, and Ky'Leigh all came over to taste my special sangria recipe. By the time we had to leave the house we had a cute little buzz. It was my girl Claudia's bday, so we had to make our way to The W.

There's Claudia posing beside Yaneek's ass. If that's not T&A, I don't know what is...

Happy Bday Claudy Doddy!


Here's the fellas at the party trying to act cool...


After Claudia's party, we hit it to the trap. It was time to see some D&A (dick and ass).

There's Darleata and I. She has her cash in hand, all ready to make it rain. After the strip club I went home to put an ice pack on my stiffy and passed out.

The next day I slept all day long. It was definitely a lazy Sunday. J and I went to the movies to see 'Meet The Fockers' later on that night. While he was getting tickets, I was grabbing a couple sweet crepes from the vendor outside.

I had to smuggle them into the theatre. Let's just say that I could definitely get drugs and weapons pass a security checkpoint. The movie was cute--a little too slapstick for my taste, but cute. I don't remember much of the movie though because I was sitting there racking my brain as to why Bravo wasn't airing ATL Housewives for the second week. I just couldn't concentrate on a movie when there were issues much bigger than me at hand. I'm starting to pre-game now for Sunday's episode. So excited!



I'm also excited about finally seeing the Tom Ford SS '11 fashion show video. Of course we've seen still shots from the show, but it do the collection justice. Anything that man does gives me a semi. Beyonce needed to do something with that mane though. No shade.

Happy New year peeps. Oh, and I didn't win the 330 million last night btw. Ugh. Back to the drawing board...
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Did you guys hear about the thousands of dead birds that fell from the sky on New Years Eve? I'm not quite sure what they have going on in Arkansas, but it's not cute. It sounds like some Apocalypse shit. Some people were actually hit in the head by dead birds while taking a stroll. Lord, I would shit in my bloomers if I were EVER to be hit in the head by a dead bird. Not just one, but thousands falling at a time? It would have been a heart attack wrap for me.
They say that they birds were possibly struck by lighting or above cloud hail.

This actually isn't the only case of dead birds falling from the sky. Louisianna also had cases. Dead fish have also been floating to sea in Haiti, Sydney, Wales, and Brazil.

Let me see one dead bird fall, and I'm outta here son. That's my word.

You know it would be a genius marketing tool if this were all promo for my favorite iPhone game Angry Birds. If I were in advertising, I would do some sick shit like that.

Me: Hey guys, no this could work. Let's drop thousands of dead birds all over Arkansas as prom for our new game. What do you guys think? I love it myself.

Ad execs: Quincy you are genius! We'll let's get out there and start killing some birds!


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If one more washed up cougar tries to pose for Playboy, I'm gonna lose it. Who wants to see Toni Braxton's beaver in print. I sho as hell don't. I guess she has to do something to get out of the 50 million dollars of debt that she's supposedly in. I know you're desperate Toni, but no Playboy ok? My eyes just can't take it. We saw enough of your cooch back when you wore those high split gown back in the 90's. Here's what you do. Go get a tin can and sit on the side of Interstate 15 in LA with a sign that reads, "Un-break my Debt". Girl, you'll make at least a million dollars a day. Much better idea that doing a spread. (singing) "Puh-na na, what's my name? Puh-na na, what's my name?"
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Hey guys, grab your bibles and douche bottles filled with holy water, it's Coco T time! Coco T is definitely one of our favorites here at quincyjones66.blogspot. As skanky as she is, we love her just the same. Here is Coco T with some New Years words of wisdom...


Coco T: "Guy advice for a happy 2011!U can stand 2 lose a few 2!Brush your teeth,clean your balls.Tell your women u luv her or trade up.Now your set!"

Coco T: "Ladies,for a happy 2011.Do squats,lunges, crunches.Buy some booty shorts & stripper heels. Tell your man u love um or trade up. Now your set!"


Coco T: "My advice for 2011 Don't hold back on anything u do, go full force!Stop lolly gaging!Were only here on this earth for a second."

Coco T: "I just got roses from my honey.So sweet!I'll give him a full body rub down in return...People U got to keep the relationship juicy..."

Wow, thanks for all the great advice Coco T! What would the state of America be without you? Thanks for being a great sport, and also for single-handedly making the profits for topical STD medications sore through the roof in 2010. A bust of your bust should be erected in your honor. We love you! (crowd chants: Coco T! Coco T! Coco T! Coco T!)

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Make Love, Not War, Dancing With The Dim Stars, and Holiday Shopping With CoCo T...


First things first! I have an extremely busy day of work and meetings, I might as well start the day off with a nice healthy breakfast. Five Mike and Ike's and a glass of wine should definitely do the trick, you think? I normally only have 4, but I figured I didn't have to ration my portions anymore being that the war is over!

Besides, it's almost fashion week. If ANYONE eats anymore than this for breakfast, they're heffers. I'm so not kidding.




So Brandy "I love lace fronts with baby hair" Norwood has been added to the new season of Dancing With The Stars? I love myself some Brandy, but it seems that she just can't quite ever get it right. Brandy hasn't had a hit, since Whitney Houston took her first hit of coke. And we all know that's been a long ass time! Hopefully this will revive her career. Her shit needs CPR and all types of mouth to mouth, because it's been lifeless ever since Afrodisiac. I'm crossing my fingers for you girl, and can't wait to see you in all of your lace front wig glory!





Last night, as any normal gay male does, I was surfing CoCo T's website (side eye). Just in time for your Holiday shopping, cocosworld.com is offering all types of skanky goodness.

Keep your eyes peeled to CoCo T's website for the premiere of her new denim line. She says it's for the "curvy girls". By "curvy" does she mean injected with as much silicone as possible? I'm just saying.

They're perfect for Bat Mitvah's...

...and for going to church.



...and she even sells air freshners. Knowing CoCo, they're not meant to be hung in your car if you know what I mean.


...and last but not least, you can but a CoCo T gift package that includes a calendar, airfreshners, and a cum rag (no cum rag, but it should be included). Perfect for that new grad. What an amazing dorm room gift for a young man.

Wow, all my holiday shopping was done like that on CoCo T's website. Damn, thanks CoCo T (big fake smile)!

Friday, March 05, 2010

"Rhymes With Duck" You Fridays, Does Anyone Smell That?, and Caught by Q

(steps onto podium, and adjusts mic) Thank you all for coming out today. For the second installment of "Fuck You Friday", I'd like to "honor" Miley Cyrus. I don't know about you guys, but I don't give a fuck about her tired weak dry stupid ass movie that's coming out. Nor do I give a fuck about her and her new boyfriend, and all of the teenage sex they're having. Nor do I care about her father Joe Jackson...I mean Billy Ray Cyrus! Nor do I care about the millions of dollars that this little winch has made for being a talent less teenybopper!
What does it all mean? It seems that more and more in this country, we are rewarding those who SHOULD have no place in the spotlight. (puts hand on chin) I think I know what happened? Movie and music executives have totally forsaken my age range because we don't have the disposable income to waste on movie tickets and cell phone ring tones. It's the teen and tweens with all of the big bucks. They are in essence the ones who decide what is "poplular", because they are the ones dropping the coins!
Ugggghhhhh!!! I'm not sure if this is a personal attack on Miley Cyrus herself, but more so an aversion of the whole "Miley Cyrus Taylor Swift Hillary Duff Movement". I don't blame Kanye for snatching the mic away from Taylor. She should have ben at home "sexting" (sex-texting) like every other teenage girl in the U.S. There's no place for kids at the MTV Awards, that's grown folks business!


Fuck this movie, and fuck whoever thought it was a good idea! Oh, and definitely fuck whoever promotes it!
Oh, and this has nothing to do with Miley, but fuck you to the bitch at the post office yesterday. Sorry that I had never shipped a package to Italy before and that you are an angry postal worker. I guess I would be mad too if I had to wear polyester pants all day! Fuck you! (takes a sip of water and steps off podium)

Who pissed you off this week? It's "Fuck You" Friday, let em know...(wink)

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Vaginal itching:
A condition caused by trapping bacteria for too long under too many layers of too-tight clothes. All that warmth and moisture provide perfect conditions for incubating infections.
In fact, itching can be the unwelcome calling card of a wide variety of infections, ranging from bacterial vaginitis to yeast (also called Candida albicans or monilia) and trichomoniasis.

Break out the vaginal itch cream folks, it's more of Coco T. You guys know that we here at quincyjones66.blogspot.com love to hate her. I just can't keep my eyes off the trainwreck.
I do know one thing, the makers of lycra and spandex will neeeevverrr go out of business as long as this chick is around. Everything has lycra in it...even her ass.

This was a twitpic Coco took on a Sunday morning before heading out to the temple for Praise and Worship...(side eye)

I love it, I mean I hate it! She's so tacky that it tips to the other end of the spectrum and translates as being good. I'm still scared though...
If you want more of the stankdom that is Coco T, visit www.cocosworld.com.

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I saw this poor chick on the train the other day. From the moment I stepped on, to the when I arrived at my destination, she was working on the same math equation. Do you see that big ass calculator? She was also using the calculator on her cell phone as well. For as long as this bitch was working on that math problem, she could have calculated the national debt. Damn, you know what? I should have asked that bitch to do my taxes. Hmmmphhh, next time...

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Racism Is Still In For Summer, What A Drag, Train Trade. and CoCo Squared(Re-post)...

Have any of you guys seen ABC's show 'What Would You Do?'  Basically it's a hidden camera show and they stage certain scenarios to see what people would do in certain situations.  One of the scenarios last night was staged in a New York boutique.  The actors included a security guard, an African American female shopper, and a store clerk.  When the fake security officer approached the fake Black shopper he asked if he could search her.  He said things like "We don't come to your neighborhoods".  It was so over!  All of this was to see if any of the onlooking shoppers would do anything.  Clearly this woman had just walked into the store, and hadn't stolen anything.  One of the male shoppers when probed by the actress clerk said, "Hey, I bet she tried to pull the race card didn't she?"  
Hey, thanks for the support big guy.  I wonder where they hold Klan meetings in Manhattan?  Can somebody look into that, and get back to me?  When they told the asshole that it was an experiment, he said that he felt sorry for her.  I'm so glad to see that just like statement shoes,  racism is also still in for Summer.  Mother fuckers!
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Congrats to  African Prince(ss) Bebe Zahara Benet of RuPaul's Drag Race for taking home the title of America's Next Drag Superstar.  I got so much life from Bebe, she slightly twirled the show, and deserved to win.  

Check out many more of Bebe's modeling pics at bebezaharabenet.com.

Here's to tucking your junk and covering razor bumps with tons of bad MAC make-up!  Cheers...!

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This trade came and sat down beside me the other day on the platform.  He literally smelled like he had brushed his teeth with a marijuana flavored toothpaste, taken a shower with weed scented body wash, and had just finished harvesting crop in Columbia.  I was sitting 4 feet away from him, and I swear I caught contact.  It was 9:30 in the morning, I mean damn.  I was waiting for this mother fucker to actually pull out a joint and rotate that bitch around the train station.  I'm sure all of the clocks in his house are stuck on 4:20 p.m.  I get life...

Johnte Austin?

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Remember this...?


    
Style and class are just two words to describe fashion icon Coco Chanel.  Since the introduction of the "little black dress" in 1926, Chanel has become a mega-brand.  Tweed jackets, the "medium classic, and Coco's law of over accessorizing are still staples in the house today, where one of the coolest men on earth, Karl Lagerfeld has taken over.   

Coco T, the wife of 90's rapper Ice T, is also one of history's memorable style mavens.  Many women have definitely tried, but no one does the camel toe better than CoCo T.  Her awkward silhouettes, and trashy key hole cutouts are second to none.  No other white girl has quite mastered the use of pvc and latex as Mrs. T.  Ever since the mid 90's, Coco T has consistently given us some of the skankiest get ups in history.  So today I celebrate two of the most amazing women in fashion history:  Coco Chanel and Coco T...