Congratulations, You're Still In The Running...

Bret, congratulations!  You're still in the running  towards becoming "America's Next Top Reality Dating Show Washed-Up Douche Bag Fucker Bitch".  Would Flav and Tila please step forward?  I have one condom in my hand, and this condom represents the douche bag that is still in the running towards becoming "America's Next Top Reality Dating Show Washed-Up Douche Bag Fucker Bitch".  I will only call one name.  The name of the ass hole that I do not call, must immediately fall off the face of this earth, and never return!

Flav, the judges are concerned that you may never find love.  You're damn near 60, and this is your 3rd season.  While the judges adore you banging all of the chicks in the house, they still question your continued use of  pimp cups.  Tila, your circa 2005 streaky highlights are amazing, but the judges ask, "Is she only a great rack in 'Forever 21' going out tops?"  

Who do we choose, the black ass cicada looking m@ther f$cker with loads of personality, or the bisexual Asian ho with too much blush?

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Tila, the judges see something really trashy in you, don't let them down.  Congratulations, you're still in the running towards becoming "America's Next Top Reality Dating Show Washed- Up Douche Bag Fucker Bitch."