To Catch A Predator?

I saw this guy the other day in the checkout line at the new Best Buy in Columbia Heights.  I just had a really strange feeling about him... I have no idea what it was?  Perhaps, it was his 10 o'clock shadow, or his piercing shady eyes (which are blurred, I didn't want to freak you all out).  You know what it was, It was the duct tape, condoms, and road maps in that dirty ass Jansport.  I just envision him dodging to Best Buy to purchase back-up memory for all of his "special pictures".  He's been using his screen name, "Iswearitwonthurt@yahoo" for years now.  He has a following from the girls at Sidwell's. When their parents are being total bitches, "Iswearitwonthurt" is always good for a ride to Rita's for a raspberry shaved ice.  Never trust a guy whose pick up line is, "This is our little secret, Right?"

For entertainment purposes only...I have a sick sense of humor...