Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Mya vs. Maya Angelou: Battle It Out...

Focus Marie Harrison, better known to us as Mya, was born right here in Washington, D.C. in 1979.  As a young child she loved dance, and studied right along with greats such as Savion Glover.  Mya's collaboration with rapper Pras, "Ghetto Superstar", on which she sang the hook was definitely a stand out in her career.  The single landed her many awards and put her on the map as an established artist.  Mya is also known for her bed-hopping and dick sucking.  The ho has been linked to NBA star Gilbert Arenas, rapper 50 cent, my husband The Game, and countless c-list actors.  

Marguerite Annie Johnson a.k.a. Maya Angelou has always had a love for poetry and writing.  Angelou has countless honorary degrees from Universities all of the United States.  She has been congratulated for being the first African American to have the longest running record (2 years) on the paper back New York Times Non-Fiction Best Sellers List for 'Why The Caged Bird Sings'.  Angelou has written for Oprah Winfrey's 'Brewster Place', and has also starred in Alex Haley's 'Roots'.  She is fluent in English, Spanish, French, Italian, and West-African Fanti.  Her works are studied and recited all over the world, and she will definitely go down in history as being one of the greatest writers of all time.
Lord knows if Mya is even fluent in English.  The closest she has ever gotten to starring in anything close to 'Roots' was that movie 'Hairshow', and I  don't even think she was in that?  Even though she hasn't acquired many of the accolades that Angelou has, Mya still holds her own.  I'm not gonna lie, I used to rock out to her jams.  I mean she can't sing, but her lyrics were cute.  Let the ladies battle it out! 

In 'Best of Me' Mya said...

Conversation ain't what? 
Big thighs got you stuck 
Feelings starting to show 
Should I stay, should I go? 
I don't know 
You're driving me crazy 
I wanna be your lady 
But I got a man at home 

Even though I wanna see 
How you put that thang on me 
I can't let you get the best of me 
Even though I wanna see 
How you put that thang on me 
I can't let you get the best of me 

That was kinda cute, but Maya Angelou came for her in 'Virtous Woman'...

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Ok, Maya!  Mya don't want none...

Ohh, but Mya wasn't trying to let Maya walk when she hit her with these lyrics from 'It's All About Me', her collaboration with Ms. Sisqo'.

Up jumps my butt nigga what nigga what 
U know I caught yo eye checkin out my thigh 
Now swing my body right to left 
Left to right, You know this ish looks tight 
Now just look at my body body uh huh 
And just hold me like a man should (Sisqo:like a nigga should) But baby you gotta see 
Tonight baby, it's all about me (Sisqo Baby)

Don't try to come for Maya, you know she's friends with Oprah, and you'll mess around and be on a missing cunts list.  

Maya sits there quietly and removes a piece of wrinkled paper from her even more wrinkled bosom.  The words on the paper read...

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Mya tries to quickly rebound by crooning...

When will you come through
'Cause I'll be waitin' up right here
Can you bring some Belvedere
So we can pop the cork and cheers

Please have no fear Yeah
I just wanna love you right
I hope you have an appetite
So tell baby, will you come and spend the night?

My love is like...wo
My kiss is like...wo
My touch is like...wo
My sex is like...wo
My ass is like...wo
My body's like...wo
And you're kissin' it
So what you think of it

In a commanding voice Maya says...

Lying, thinking
Last night
How to find my soul a home
Where water is not thirsty
And bread loaf is not stone
I came up with one thing
And I don't believe I'm wrong
That nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Ladies!  Ladies!  Alright, that's enough...We have reach a unanimous decision.  The judges say that based on what they've heard here (drum rolls)...
Singer Mya takes the title.  The judges say that even though she's slightly a bamma,  her baby hair is over, and her shape punishes.  Sorry Maya, you almost had it!  Perhaps next time? 


Mr. Fabulous said...

I CAN'T SEE Mya taking the title...EVER.

Howard C.
DCMF Magazine


yet another black guy said...

NNNNOOOOO boy you ain't right LOL!!!!!