Right...So on Thursday after the whole rat on the street incident I had to hurry home to get ready for a date. It wasn't a date that I was excited about, or else I would have let you guys know about it, rather a date that I had been putting off for a long while. I had met him out a long time ago, and he had been stalking me to take me for dinner and drinks. I didn't want to go, because nothing about him besides him being a man was my type. The only reason I gave in this week was to partake in the free meal. Get into that! Doug, 43, Government Worker...shows up to my mother-fucking house in denim shorts, some type of bad graphic t-shirt, even worse high tops, and his damn nervous laugh. I swear I thought I was on Hell Date. "Wow man", he says, "I feel under-dressed". I wanted to say, you knew you were going to dinner, and not a fish fry, why would you wear bad jean shorts! You guys know that I do not discriminate against a man based on his clothing, but he was just too far in. We went to Busboys and Poets. Immediately upon entrance I sent him to the bar for cocktail Number 1, I slurped that bitch down so quick that it was gone when he turned back around. "Would you like another", he says. In my head I wanna yell "Hell Yeah Mother-Fucker", but I just nod. The waitress blares, "Jones party of two..." Thank Goodness, can we just get this over with. We sat at the table--dead air. He had no conversation what so ever. I just kept slurping down my liquid courage and things were not so bad. If he wasn't bad enough when the bill came, he only tipped the waiter 5 bucks! He asked if I needed a ride home, I basically told him that I couldn't see it.
After that atrocious date, I went to The Park to party it up for my girl Veronica's birthday. She looked beautiful, and the trade in there were over. It was a perfect ending to a horrible night...
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Government specials? I mean, do they take food stamps now. What is really hood with Mickey D's. That would be the ruler if they did. You would see all of the hood mothers ordering DOWN, talking about... "You know McDonald's take food stamps now. Imma bring fries and burgers to the little party on Saturday". All of the little kids teeth would be orange from drinking that orange soda all day everyday, and they would have a permanent orange moustache on their mouths. I get life!
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Why is this white boy giving me all of that back? But get into his stance, it's kinda like he knows it's fat. I can't take too much more...
...You know what I can take more of is Track and Field at this years Olympics. On August 14th, tune into see the first round of men's 100m track. You are gonna think its FedEx, there are gonna be so many over packages! Get in!
Thank you for supporting my blog. This is my 100th post! I would have never thought I'd have made it through 10 much less 100. Here is too 100 more. Tomorrow is Lil' Richard vs. Lil' Kim...
3 comments:
Denim shorts! They must be banned! ROFLOL...
Alright for 100 posts. There must be many more. As for that date and his shorts...ki!
JB
Happy 100th! That really did sound like a hell date.
And Mc Donald's is crossing the line. French fries should always come second to milk and cheese... wait, maybe that's the gov't special!
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