Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Did Santa Bring Your Toys?, and ?...



So I made the fleshlight reference yesterday and told you guys that I would explain later...here's later.  So the other night I fell off to sleep while watching a movie on a cable channel.  Around 3 a.m. I woke up groggy and incoherent.  I thought I was dreaming because I heard, "There's only 3 more minutes to get your Grand Prix Stroker Pump for $79.99."  I sat straight up in the bed and saw two homely white women old enough to be my mother saying words like cock and pussy.  I got life watched for almost an hour.  It was like an HSN for sex toys.  I never knew there was so many things one could use to "get off". 
 Well let me just go on record to say that I don't use sex toys, It's just not my thing.  Besides, where do you store them, they take up so much room.  I'd rather use that extra money and storage space for shoes.  They want me to pay $89.99 for an 8" "Mulatto" dong?  Fuck that!  I know at least 3 mulattos with well over 8 inches that would gladly come over and fuck me now and GIVE me $89.99.  Hmmmm I don't know, we'll see...

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Who told Madonna to turn this Louis Vuitton Spring Ad Campaign like this?  I mean, I want names...
Who told Diesel to make this shoe?  I think its cute for them.  It's new Spring '09.  Get in...

Who taught Victoria and J. Lo to act like faggies?  WHO?




Who is sicker than Alexander McQueen?  

Who was supposed to tell Ashanti that she was voted off like 8 years ago?  Also why hasn't anyone told her that she still can't sing?  Damn!

3 comments:

CutieTJ said...

what does conjuring queens mean? lol and actually ashanti is better at singing check out her recent Shine performance, she has stepped it up.

Promiscuous X said...

Q , Q , Q ,Q ...LMAO...I can't..

Shit you betta get yo self a fleshlight..act like you know homie lol.

Ashanti can hum...but she cant sing lol, but shit who am i to judge that bitch got money lol

That Dude Right There said...

You better get on the sex toy tip. It's the safest sex you can get!!!