Monday, March 23, 2009

Weekend Wrap-Up, We Gettin' Arab Money, She Ain't Got No Money In The Bank, Mo Money, Mo Problems, and Damn, That's A Lotta' Money...

Alright kids, come and gather round.  It's time for the weekend wrap-up.  Friday was the only night I really did anything.  After work I rushed home to try and get in a disco nap, because I knew I had to go out for my sister Nikki's birthday.  I made it home, but no nap hardly.  Between phone calls, and my head wandering to what I was going to wear to the party, It just didn't happen.  My friends Tamika and Joey met me at my house, and we all left together (Sorry we were late Veronica...lol)  The party was at L2, an exclusive members only lounge in Georgetown.  I have to say that my sister looked amazing on Friday.

The headpiece and the studded belt were oh so 'Sex and the City'.  I love it!  The party was amazing, Nik is truly loved.  Happy B-day!  After L2, we decided to hit a spot that we haven't been to in a while called Modern.  We walked up to the door, showed our ID's, and proceeded to drink shot after shot.  The crowd was so wack, but the music was cute.  I felt like I was on the Jersey shore.  There were girls there with vintage tops on from THE LIMITED.  I had realized that the club had done some minor renovations since I had been there last. All I have to say is just because you pour A1 steak sauce on a pile of shit, it doesn't make it a petit filet.  Anyways, so after doing the "stanky leg" dance for over and hour, the bouncer who let me in walked up to me and told me that I had to take my sunglasses off.  The mother fucker checked my ID and let me in.  After an hour and a half, now I have to leave?  I could have easily taken off my sunglasses, but they're Spring '09 Marc Jacobs?  I finished my last shot and hit it, I couldn't see taking off anything that I wore out while I'm in the club.  That's like asking Chaka Khan to take out her weave.  Besides, I'm not that pressed I have alcohol and music at home.  The girl with the vintage top from THE LIMITED got to stay though.  
Saturday I was 2 hours late to work and I didn't miss shit.  It was dry as hell.  After work I went to Ruth Chris and had a god damn $80 dinner.  Can anybody say a little three syllable word with me?  Re-cess-ion! I payed and hit it home to pass out.  
Yesterday at work was the same as Saturday.  Dry, dry, dry...  I made it home to watch Clifton Ross tear it up on Sunday's Best.  He sang the hell out of Ms. Kirk Franklin's 'Now Behold The Lamb'.  Go Cliff, we wish you all the best.  
Which brings us to today...
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Ok, so I'm gonna try my best not to be ignorant here.  The other day I was waiting for the train, and sat down next to this nice man on the platform...


Then goddamnit, he got onto my train.  He kept pulling files out of his briefcase.  Everytime he reached into his bag, I was nervous as shit.  I was 2 seconds away from going over there and tackling him to the ground, but he only rode 3 stops.  

(Wiping brow) That was a close one, I lived to see another day...

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The other day I went to the movies to see 'Last House on the Left'.  It was a great movie by the way.  Anyways, these two ghetto ass cunts were in the concession line before me.  The one in the red had a fake Juicy Couture bag.  She kept adding items, and taking them away, and asking for the total.  I'm not kidding, they were there for at least 5 minutes, and it was the only line open.  Upon making a final decision, she payed reluctantly with wrinkled 5 and 1 dollar bills.  When she walked off she said, "Girl, the movies be high as shit, I need to go get some money from Eric when we get outta here!"  Oh my Gosh...why me?

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Apparently, for a 27 year old MD woman, her sex toy didn't have enough vrrrrmmmm.  Last week she asked her boyfriend to hook up her vibrator to one of his power tools.  Needless to say, she had to be airlifted to a nearby hospital.  I know the trade means business when he says  he's gonna "beat the pussy up", but damn that's just too much.  The woman is doing fine now, and is recovering.  She told reporters that her and her man were simply "trying something new".  Work!

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Nick Cannon's ex Selita Ebanks was spotted out wearing this Balmain creation.  Balmain turned it for Fall, and the price tags turned it as well.  Some of the gowns were upwards of $30,000!  Selita does look beat as hell in the dress, but I couldn't see her coming for...


...Little Ms. Liz Hurley in this Versace '02 get up.  That dress was the ruler of the earth!  R.I.P Versace.  Damn you Cunanan!


Happy Monday!

7 comments:

Sapphire Blu said...

LMAO @ disco nap! THE LIMITED: why???!?!?!? ugh i swear i can't stand bouncers who take that 99 cents an hour job that serious. i guess he needs it: the recession is NOT excluding folks these days *asshole*

ick! why do YOUR people always show out in public? she knew she had NO MONEY when she left home, which means she will still have lint in her pockets when she gets there.

ugh i hate fake bags. actually now that i think of it i hate all fakes *to include people*

Joey Bahamas said...

Sister Nikki was beat for filth!!! I had a a great time on Friday!!!

JB

Jamar Herrod said...

I spent $21.00 at ESPNzone which is no comparison to what you paid but what all did you purchase?? Lol. Now I'm not one to call people names or make assumptions about Arabs..despite 9/11 that seems prejudical but oh well lol. That was u and not me. Oh sounds like you had alot of fun at the L2. Thats good. U seem to have plenty of stories and the fake bag is funny. Lmao. Never ending moments with people trying something new which results in them being in the hospital. That's just nasty. Love it!

Dusty Boot said...

omg... lol @ the Arab man. too damn funny!

Ray Avito said...

I don't know enough about power tools to even try to guess what device they were using, but dang, girl had to be airlifted to the hospital?! Black & Deck-Her, apparently...

Troy N. said...

Not Ruth Chriss'!!LOL, No, see you have to go to the sleezebag Annie's Paramount steakhouse, sniff as you enter the first floor and tell the hired help at the door you prefer a table upstairs as you read the City Paper with a pair of heavy black frames on and giving nada: Order- Eat and dont you dare tip anymore than two dollars. Yes damnit two and pay it.

Q said...

Troy, I hate you...lol