Monday, April 27, 2009

Weekend Wrap-Up, R.I.P. Beatrice, and and...?

Glad to see everyone returned from the weekend, and that no one died from the swine flu.  I didn't have the swine flu, but I did have a bout with my allergies.  I felt like I wanted to scratch my damn eyes out yesterday.  If you know me,  this is my least favorite time of the year. I hate my allergies, and I hate warm weather.  This is my time to hibernate, at least until the sun goes down, and the pollen is gone.  
Anyways, this weekend was good.  Don't expect any crazy stories, because I took the weekend off from going out.  On Friday, Normie and I 
went to see 'Obsessed'.  We went to the 12:30 movie in Chinatown.  There were so many queens in there, I thought it was the club.  I was smart to get there early because the movie was completely sold out.  Get this, movie management actually made the executive decision to 
put chairs down in the aisle?  Have you guys ever seen folding chairs being put down in a movie theatre?  That is the most over fire hazard of all.  Well, actually the most over fire hazard was the queens sitting on the steps.  They were pressed.  
What I actually heard of the movie, it wasn't that bad.

The only thing I'm mad at is that lace front on Beyonce's head that someone glued on.  Whoever did that to her, needs to be thrown in prison.  I'm not kidding.  She did grace the girls with Louboutins in the movie, so I was entertained nonetheless.  We didn't leave that bitch until damn near 3:00 a.m.  Needless to say, I was exhausted at work the next day.  After work I decided to try out POTENZA.  It's a new Italian restaurant that's part of the Stir Group.  If you're in DC, the Stir Group brought us Zola.  

The food was amazing, and the service was impeccable.  Norman had pizza...

...I didn't get any.  We sat at the "hot bar", so we were facing the kitchen where all the action happens.  I thought that I was sitting in on an episode of Top Chef.  It was over to see the head chef yelling at his assistants for blood.  I got life.  I'm going back immediately, if not sooner.  After Potenza I went to meet my sister Hadi at Bebar.  I just wanted to see her, I didn't even have a cocktail.  After about 10 minutes I hit it home and passed out.  
Yesterday at work was a blower, but that's ok.  My sweet child Brandon was in town, and stopped by my job to surprise me.  

Back to the "Big Apple" for you Brando.  You need to make your big sis some money.  Izza tied ah bein broke!  lol...  Yesterday after work I came home and dropped my belongings.  I had a taste for greasy gross hormone injected nasty ass fried chicken from Popeye's.  While I was walking, this trade was sitting on his stoop.  He jumped up when I walked past, and ask me if he could talk to me.  He was cute, but so young looking ( I already have one, or two of those).  He walked with me for about a block after he realized it wasn't happening.  Ummm, ummm, ummm, watch out girls!  You have no idea, these trade are vicious.  I'm sure he had a baby's mama.  Help 'em Lawd....

(Holding tissue over my nose)  Awww Lawd!!!!!!  (Beating my fist on the table, and crying uncontrollably)  Ain't nobody even called me or nothing.  Y'all knew that Bea Arthur died, and ain't nobody even stopped by here and dropped off a sweet potato pie or nothing.  Y'all know I loved me some Bea Arthur.  I've been following Bea ever since she played Maude in the 70's.  Don't even talk about her Emmy Award winning role as Dorothy Zbornak on 'Golden Girls'.  Bea was the beatest heterosexual butch dike that ever graced a television screen.  And yes Norman, she taught me how to be a man as well.  
Sometime today I'm going to get dressed in pant suit with exaggerated shoulder pads, and remember the woman who always had a come back!  You could never come for Dorothy!

Blanche: "What does one wear to a sperm bank?"
Dorothy: "Something attractive in rubber."
Blanche: "I have that."

Rose: Can I ask a dumb question?
Dorothy: Better than anyone I know.

to Rose and Blanche)
"I could have been living in a swinging condo instead of with...I better not say anything till I've had my coffee...a slut and a moron! I'm sorry, it must be decaf."

Sophia: I need the money for my old age.
Dorothy: Old age? You don't leave fingerprints anymore.

Blanche: What do you think of my new dress? Is it me?
Sophia: It's too tight, it's too short, and it shows too much cleavage for a woman your age.
Dorothy: Yes, Blanche. It's you.

Awwwwwww Lawwwwwd!!!!!


Why didn't I know about Alexyss K. Tylor?  Why did my hag Lynn have to tell me about her over lunch yesterday?  I stayed up until almost 4 in the morning watching her videos.  She is so over!  I live for her.  She talks dirty just like me.  WARNING:  This video is not safe for work, so don't play it unless you have an office door to close.  Get your life...


Anonymous said...

Wassup Q -LOL! You made me late for work.LOL!! Ms.Alexyss K. Tylor.. I LIV.. that cunt was goin off bout the drug dealers selling crack/ass/dick to make that money.. OVA... I was on the floor laughing @ that cunt!!!!

Love - O

Q said...

Awww, I miss you O. We must hang soon!

Mario Moguls said...

Hey Dude so this blog is jus hilarious i think that why i added you on twitter i totally forgot to reply to your message on there but HEY.....M.Moguls

Chet said...

Well young man, I am pleased to hear that you had an enjoyable weekend. Glad you enjoyed your gurl's new movie (Obbessed), now I am still trying to get over the fact that the Cinema managerment decided to violate Fire Codes and place chairs in the aisle during that movie, now you know somebody lining their pockets good.

The new eatery sounds like fun and good food, thanks.

Yes I have checked out Ms. Alexyss and she is a hoot! That woman is to many things.

**SmathaSunshine** said...

Ms. Alexyss is a mess... that was a great way to end my night. I luv your blog... I live...

**Samatha Sunshine**

Troy N. said...

Ms. A killed it but a red turtle neck and blazer set?? C'mon..