Weekend Wrap-Up--The Late Edition, Train Wrecks, She Got Dumped, and She Got A Dunk?

Alright already, I got it!  I know I haven't blogged in a minute, a bitch has been busy.  Between preparing for my trip, avoiding all of the gays here for Pride, and working, it has been a show.  So you know this past weekend was a huge Black Gay Pride Weekend.  Hundreds of thousands of gays flocked here to D.C., flew south to Miami(hi Kenny), or ventured over to ATL.  Now this is just me guesstimating, but I'm saying that hundreds of gallons of lube and lord know how many condoms were sold this weekend alone.  It's just astounding?

  As for me, I couldn't see doing much.  Thursday night I went to the Mill with my lil bro Christon for the "Opening Night Party".  I couldn't do it.  It was hot as hell.  I couldn't see sweating out my drag.  After how long it takes me to get dressed, chile please?    On Friday, I met my boo-boo, Q Truly  at the good 'ol trusty Fireplace.  I hadn't b

een there in a while, but not to worry, it still reeked of Lady Stetson, semen, throw up, and bleach.  The cheap cocktails somehow masks the smell.  Because of pride, there were a couple of cuties.  I didn't conjure too bad did I DD?  After the Fireplace we went to Halo for more libations.  I live for the blueberry mojitos there.  After that I met Horace and Dionne at POLICY.  It was just what the doc ordered.  I hadn't eaten all day long.  I seriously only had a cupcake and a Reese's Cup ( I said "a" Reese's Cup, which doesn't mean the two that come in the package).  I tore that food down in no time.  After Policy, an outfit change and off to another party.  I think it was called The Loft?  The space is amazing, and well off the beaten path.  I felt frisky, so I wore short shorts...

They were slightly pornographic.  I threw on a tie, and some Prada loafers to class them up a bit.  I still looked like i should have been sliding down the beatest pole.  Katie, I need the pictures...lol.  

Anyways, the next day my allergies were kicking my ass.  I couldn't see going to work.  It was horrific.  My head was congested, and my eyes looked like Garfield the Cat.  I didn't even think about getting out of bed until 4:00 p.m.  Norman called and prodded me out of the sheets.  he wanted a hamburger.  We went to Johnny Rockets.  His friend Jeremy from Baltimore met us there. That's all I'm saying about that.  Later on we went to Georgetown and met up with our sweet friend Sydney.  There were queens everywhere.  Even in my favorite tennis shoe store...

How did they even find it?  Like a moth to a flame?  After shopping, it was time to go home and relax.  I had an early meeting on Sunday morning.  Work has really become a struggle for me, the struggle being that I HATE IT.  I need a new job immediately if not sooner, HELP!  

Thank you Jesus, I will be away from that wretched place for 6 days.  Punta Cana, here I come.  I'm almost done packing.  Somehow I don't think I'll be need 11 pairs of shoes?  I need options.  I leave tomorrow morning on a 6 am flight.  Adios!

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I'm sorry, but her sensible work pump almost sent me overboard the other day.  First of all, it was too big.  Second, it was cheap as hell.  If you're gonna wear a shoe like that, at least have it be beat.  If you don't take your ass to Ferragamo or Bally woman...

Do you see what the white trade has in his lap?  Why was he carrying box of fresh Halle Berries on the train at 8:30 in the morning?  I need answers...

This loud black bitch was standing on the platform being ghetto as hell the other day whilst I was waiting for the train.  She kept telling the party on the other end that they were "dumb like shit"?  I'm sorry I don't know what that means?  If she didn't win me over with her urban interpretation of the English language, perhaps she could have with her body?  Every time she stood up after sitting down, her belly was exposed.  She had to keep pulling that gravy stained t shirt down.  Ugggghhhhh!!!  I was embarrassed.  We have a Black President for Christ sakes...

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Oooooohh, did any of y'all see the Season Finale of 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians'?  Well, it seems that Khloe was dumped by her "boyfriend" Rashad McCants of the Sacramento Kings.  Somehow Kim broke the code to his voicemail, and heard countless messages from chicks that he had been "digging out".  Was she surprised?  He didn't want her dumb thick ass.  All he wanted to do was beat it up real quick, and bounce.  It's embarrassing though getting dumped on national tv.  I'm sure she'll find someone else...

Wednesday May 27, 2009

Q

Washington, DC

www.quincyjones66.blogspot.com

Dear Rashad, 

I recently watched your very public break up with Khloe Kardashian on 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians'.  I know you were the one who cheated on her, but I'm sure you'll need some comforting.  At 6' 4", 215 pounds, you're just my type.  I'm not a white girl, but I can suck a mean...(I'm kidding) Kinda.  Not really...

Regards, 

Q

attachment: photos 

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This queen Sexy Spec from the paper selling group Pretty Ricky has gone too far.  He is dancing and gyrating around like he used to dance at The Wet.  I'm grossed out, but slightly intrigued.  Maybe it's the pink panties that threw me off.  I don't know.  Who puts their tongue between their pointer and middle fingers anymore?  Off the "No Homo" though, he is kinda cute though.  Get in...

LEAVE ME ALONE...

I'm gonna blog tomorrow, I swear...

Weekend Wrap-Up--The Late Edition, What Is This I Hear About..., Laaaaawd Lil Romeo?, and Eat The Cake Annie Mae!

Hi boo-boo's, I've missed you guys so.  It has been quite the hectic start to the week (more on that later).  The weekend was uber quiet.  I didn't do much at all.  I'm honestly just waiting for my trip to the Dominican.  Oh, not to the Dominican to get my hair blown out, but to the Dominican Republic...yeah.  I leave next Thursday, and I can't wait.  I just need to get away, a little escapism is much needed right now.  

On Saturday after work Normie, Horace, Dionne, and I went to the greatest place on earth--Outback Steakhouse.  Dionne had never been before, so we had to pop her Bloomin' Onion cherry.  Every time I go there, I always eat enough food to feed a small housing project in Chicago.  After a couple of cocktails there, and me being mentally exhausted from work, I passed out when I got home.  

On Sunday I worked, and it was the usual blower that it is.  I came home and relaxed.  I knew I had a busy day on Monday.  My cousin passed away last week, and the funeral was on yesterday.  I love my cousin, but I hate African American Baptist funerals.  I mean who wants to sit in a room with a dead body for that long?  I'm sorry, I don't.  It really freaked me out yesterday, and my mind wandered places.  I imagined my funeral, and the show that it would (will) be.  I'm telling you guys now.  I want a a quick memorial service.  Something really simple and classy. Perhaps my family could get suit forms, and display a few of my many outfits.  Oh, and I want EVERYONE to come in drag!  When I say drag, I mean DONE!  Your asses better be beat.  If you're a woman, and you're not wearing a Louboutin, you will not be admitted!  Fuck that, I'm not playing!  I die, and you don't wanna spend a measley $900 on a shoe in remembrance of me?  How dreadful!

Anyways, the funeral got me to thinking.  I know it sounds super cliche, but life is so short.  Do everything you want to do, and more.  

After family time yesterday, Normie and I went to Sweet Mango on Georgia Ave.  While we were sitting there eating our jerked meals one of the women that worked there yelled at a customer, and told him that she would "mace him and kick his ass".  She had on the beatest flammable auburn wig, and the cheapest flammable clothing to match.  I got life from her.  After Sweet Mango, why not wash it down with some Rita's Shaved Ice?  After some Rita's shaved Ice, why not wash it down with a bottle of wine?  After I conjured with trade on the phone until late, my ass was knocked out.  I got ample sleep, and my ass still woke up late.  I have the NERVE to be blogging when I have to leave the house in 20 minutes--I'm not dressed yet!  Good day!

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Ok, just a little service announcement here.  I'm not sure if any other of my homosexual (is that what they call you guys now) readers have encountered this, but I definitely have.  It seems that more and more bottoms are approaching me and wanting to have "relations"?  I mean what are we gonna do?  This one cunty trade asked if I had ever used a double dildo? After I slapped him and threw my drink in his face I said "NO", and stormed away.  I know that there is a shortage of tops especially here in D.C., but we musn't start having our own kind?  I guess I'm just old fashion, and expect there to be a top and bottom just like God intended.  I under stand that  separatist groups have formed such as versatile, versatile top, versatile bottom, and only take dick for the "right person".  I'm not being picky, at least have the right base word, "TOP".  Ok, I just had to get that out...

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...speaking of tops.  Laaaawd, Lil Romeo done grown up.  These pics were taken recently and posted to his MySpace page.  He has grown into quite the (loosening my shirt collar) handsome trade.  He is legal, right?  You know I'm a cougar.  "Make 'em say Ooooohhh, Na-na, na-na..."

Call me Romeo...

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Ok, this is just ridiculous.  My friend was emailed this the other day, and I just couldn't hold my peace.  I had to say something.  First of all, I wanna see the expectant mother.  Who thought that it was alright to get her a cake like this?  I'm just throwing it out here, and correct me if I'm wrong, but somehow I'm thinking this woman isn't a deaconess at her church, or even an usher for that matter.  Do you see the baby poppin' out of her pussy, with the umbilical cord attached?  That is some foul shit.  Who ever volunteers to eat that piece of cake at the shower is a nasty freak, and needs to have the authorities called on them!  Nasty bitches!

Slave Ass Bitch?

Well, I had other things to blog about today, but the fag Kyle from College Hill caught my tongue.  I'm not sure if anyone caught last night's episode, but it was like watching a train wreck.  The episode was a continuation from last week.  The "new girl" decided to be funny and eat Kyle's (the queen's) ribs that he (she) made.  That was the wrong thing to do.  That nasty ass hill billy fag flailed around cursing the girl out, while making her perform extremely embarrassing tasks. The "new girl" gave Kyle the money for his ribs, but he insisted on humiliating her.  He yelled in her face telling her to put the money in the microwave where she found the ribs.  She listened to him and did it.  More arguing occurred when finally the "new girl" said something that that nasty queen didn't like.  He proceeded to tell her that whatever she thought about him, she still did what he said to do, and called her a "slave ass bitch".  A slave ass bitch?

Between him and Frankie Cole, they are dueling setting the black movement back at least 60 years.  With that "slave ass bitch" comment he just wiped out the whole 'I Have A Dream' speech, and just forget about Obama's election.  It's all gone.  

I would have wished for BET to chose the housemates a little more carefully.  Not only is he setting the black movement back, but he definitely is doing nothing to perpetuate positive images of young homosexual black men.   African American gays already have a stigma, what will middle America think now?  All gays flail around calling females bitches, and disrespecting themselves on national television?

Somebody please help Kyle find his dignity, oh, and his waistline.  If you're gonna curse out a cunt on BET, at least be beat.  

How dreadful!

Weekend wrap-Up,The Return of Awww Skeet Skeet, Oooooh Rih-Rih, and King Oprah...

Hello all, I', hoping that everyone had a safe and most glorious weekend.  It was absolutely gorgeous here yesterday, but I felt like crap.  My allergies twirled my ass like shit.  I could hardly breathe.  

Anyways, Saturday night was the only night I went out this weekend.  Remember that I'm putting myself on the "B" word?  Myself, Leata, Yaneek, and sister Joey all went to show Mr. Billy Bradshaw some love at Policy.  It was his birthday.  Horace, from the looks of things, I'm not even sure if you remember that I was there?  It's ok though, it was your birthday.  Horace wasn't the only birthday at Policy on Saturday.  It was some queen's birthday there, that brought the boys to the yard.  I saw a couple of ex-conjures and things.  Yaneek, why couldn't I see talking to that cute boy in the stripe shirt again?  You have to stop me next time and have me focus.  Now, in my sober state, from what I remember he was kinda cute.  I don't need to pass up any potential husband's these days, I'm not getting any younger.  My toes are right in the fucking edge of 31, FUCK!  

So after Policy, we wanted to keep the party going.  The four of us decided to head over to FLY lounge.  Despite the busy Dupont Circle location, we parked with ease and began to walk up to the door.  We walked up on this...   

The picture is kinda dark, but you can kinda make it out.  Some trade had passed out from drinking too much.  He was a little cutie too, despite his bad square toed shoe.  My theory is that he had stopped to pee on the street (his fly was open), and he passed out.  He was sleeping like he was on a mother fuckin' Beauty Rest or Serta commercial.  Some bad person stole his cell phone (the clip was empty), and even took off with his wallet.  We called 911, and tried to wake him up as much as possible.  Our asses went into the club, got it in, and came out an hour and a half later, and he was still there.  This time there were 3 beat ass trade there trying to help him out.  We left feeling better about the situation, and headed over to Layla for the let-out.  Yaneek walked on her "Honey" looking extra delicious in those damn near 6 inch Louboutin's.  While we were outside of the club I saw this mami with the beat ass shape.  Joey and I immediately started to show her grace, and she got life from "the girls".  Girl, you got a body like a Maserati, I loved those Gucci mules Eva, we must hang soon.  

After Layla we went to LOVE to see Yaneek's cousin who works the door there.  They had a ghetto ass concession stand outside that sold chicken tenders and french fries.  Those goddamn 10 dollar chicken fingers were beat as hell.  You know you'll eat anything when you're drunk at 4 in the morning, but I swear I felt like I was at Ruth's Chris.  

After that conjure, we took it in.  I woke up yesterday with the worst allergy symptoms ever.  I called out of work, and layed it back down. 

Around 2:30 I woke up and decided to go see my Mama for mother's day.  My brother came to pick me up, and we started the long journey to Stafford.  

This is what I got Mama.  Marc Jacobs is one of her favorites for an "everyday" bag.  She says, "I don't like to carry my Chanel bags during the week, they are for Sundays!"  Work!  

We had a seafood feast at my parents house.  It was amazing.  Crabs, lobster tails, shrimp, fish, scallops, chicken breast, ribs, pulled pork, and a host of sides topped the menu.  I'm definitely eating the leftovers for lunch today.  

I was also happy to finally meet my new Great Nephew Aaden.

He is 3 weeks old.  I can't believe that my nephew has a baby?  Ummm, ummm, ummm...  I just don't wanna think that my neices and nephews are fucking, but I guess they are?  Dammit!  Anyways Aaden and I had some Great Uncle/Great Nephew time.  I dressed him up in his baby drag.  I changed his outfit 3 times, I'm talking shoes and all.  He loved it!  

I got back home prety lte last night.  I was zonked from the day.  I took a shower and hit the sack.  Hope your Monday isn't sucking?  Peace...

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I'm guessing since the weather is breaking, there will be more and more nasty mother fuckers fucking outside.  Remember last summer how I couldn't walk around the city without nearly stepping on a condom?  Now it's just gone too far.  Not only are they fucking outside, but they are also doing this outside as well...

For real? Is this what it's come too?  The bad thing about it is that this wasn't even in the city, this was found in a residential area near Tysons II Galleria Mall.  The pissy cup and all just left on the side of the street.  I have a clue as to just how "k"lassy  the chick is who did this.  Nasty bitch!  I'm hoping tht she did't end up pregnant, if she did I'm putting the Child Services number on speed dial so they can come take that poor little child from her.  Ewwwww...

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I'm sure by now yo guys have seen the alleged nude Rihanna pictures.  That is someone who looks very much to be Ms. brown with a pink thong on his head.  The other pics, which are not safe for work are all over the net, so get your goo

gle on when you get home. 

I'm sure it is Rihanna, she looks like a nasty freaky ass dick taking cunt.  That's why I live for her, she doesn't give a fuck...

Get into her shape.....Oooowwwww...

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This photo was taken at a recent event.  Can you guys get into Oprah's carter?  She has a look on her grill that gives, "Get this crazy bitch away from me...!"  Her teeth are clinched for filth.  I wouldn't be surprised if M.I.A. turned up M.I.A.  Oprah has made many people disappear off the face of this earth, never to be seen or heard from again.  Phil Donahue?  

Walk The Ball, The Met Gala Ball, and I Don't Mean To Be Picky...

Good day fuckers, before I get started with today's post, I just wanted to get something off my chest.  So, last night my "first" called (we chat from time to time). He literally was the FIRST to have my precious peach.  I was a mere 16 years old, and I won't tell you how old he was because the authorities may be reading this.  Even when we did play gay naked Twister back in the day, we were never an "item".  Strangely enough last night he was talking relationship talk?  He asked why we never tried to make it work, and what did I think about us taking a stab at being together.  It's not the fact that he isn't a great guy, which he is.  It's not the fact that he isn't good-looking, because he is definitely that.  The only thing that bothers me is that you mean to tell my ass that I've been chasing dick for 14 years and I could have just held tight to his one?  Somehow that fucks with my universe in so many ways, and I have a headache this morning just thinking about it.  Anyways...

I know that you guys have seen this picture of Ms. Legend walking her dog on the beach "topless" in Miami.  I have always thought that she was over, but this picture makes me feel some kind of way about her...

Get into her package.  I'm not sure if you guys know or not, but I'm a certified bulge inspector.  I can merely look at a bulge and tell the approximate size/shape/coloration of a man's penis.  I'm giving Ms. Legend an 8.5. (all score are calculated in inches).  That will do John.  

Look at John walking for B Boy realness...

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So the Met Gala went down the other night.  It is one of the most glamorous events of the year.  Tickets to the event cost upwards of $7000, and it was a complete sell-out.  Get into the fashions....

Amanda Kerr looked simple yet chic in Jil Sander.

Madonna is on that stuff.  I have come to the conclusion.  Maybe it was all of the dick she was taking in the late 80's and early 90's?  I guess it affected her brain/fashion sense somehow.  Whatever it was, she looks possessed!

Why don't they bring 'House of Style' back to MTV.  That was the best show next to 'Real World'.  I couldn't wait to see Ms. Cyndi talk about the fashions, and ke-ke with that lady Todd Oldham.  Get into her in Versace with "The Donatella" herself.  Donatella has had so much work done that she looks like a Madame Tussaud's wax figure.  She is beat as hell though.

What a miss for Victoria!  Ughhhhh....!

Y'all already know that I'm about to read Tyra.  Does she have mirrors in her house.  Ooooh, so you're telling me that she does have mirrors, they're just fun house mirrors, those joints from the circus?  She better fire that team of tired fags that she has dressing her.  At least she's consistent.  She ALWAYS looks horrible.  

You don't wanna fuck with this coke snortin' cunt!  She looked amazing in Marc Jacobs.

I don't think I've ever seen Rihanna look bad.  She looked fashion forward and modern in this Dolce and Gabanna voluminous shouldered tuxedo jacket and skinny pants.  It's the Met Gala Ball, this is where you wear shit like this.  She would look crazy as hell anywhere else.  

Mr Rose and Ms. Kanye came through.  She wasn't wearing any socks with her lace-ups.  That lady is always doing sold out show...

Giselle looked hot as hell in Versace.

The definition of sexy, Mr. Tom Ford.  

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So did you guys hear about Oprah and KFC teaming up to give America free dinner?  You have until the end of today to download your coupon at kfc.com.  I don't want KFC though.  Do you think if I take my coupon to Ruth's Chris, they will redeem it?  It's worth a try, cause I don't want no damn KFC...

The Weekend Wrap-Up, I Believe I Can Fly..., Ashanti and Tyra Tea, HALLE BERRY?,

Hello Fuckers, I missed you guys.  What did you guys do this weekend?  Drop tea, I wanna know.  I didn't do much at all.  I will probably be on hibernation until after my trip to Dominican Republic.  I've been spending way too much money, and making way too little.  I've put myself on a bud.., hold on I can say it.  I've put myself on a budg...(fanning myself).  I 've put myself on a budget, alright!  There I said it!  I don't like the "B" word as much as the next queen, but something has to give.  So what do you do when you don't wanna spend money to go out?  I've been opting to stay home and fuck.  Fuck, fuck, fuck...  That's all I have been doing.  My young trade piece is finally getting pretty good.  I've taught him the ropes, and I think he finally hit a high score on Thursday night.  He can stick around for a while.  

So much for the Monday morning "Fuck Talk".  On Saturday, my girlfriend's son and daughter both attended prom.  I can remember as if my Prom were yesterday, or 14 years ago.  Which ever comes first. 

That's my sweet Nephew Raymond, and his date.  She was very pretty and voluptuous, if I may add.  I swear these little girls look like Snoop Dogg video extras at the age of 16.  We didn't look all "grown" coming up.  I swear it must be the hormones in the food.  Raymond told me that they were going to be freaking in the corner at Prom all night.  I swear if they played Go-Go, I'm sure someone is taking the "Morning After Pill" today.  

That is sweet Raven and her date, (clinches teeth) "Swagger".  Randy, a.k.a. "Swagger is at least 32 or 33.  He's right along in age with me, or at least it seems.  He has been out of school for years, but insist on still attending High School functions and events.  Let it go "Swagger", I did...lol.  I', hoping the kids had fun, and no one in their class go the swine flu, or impregnated.  

Yesterday morning before work, I had breakfast with my wife Melissa.  We vowed way back in my Nordstrom days, that if I were to ever "go that way", that we would get married.  That would be kinda' hard these days being that she is married now, but her husband Andre will just have to understand.  Work yesterday was uneventful, and Normie came out to Tyson's to walk on me.  We rode back into the city, and I got life from some Jerk Chicken at Sweet Mango's on Georgia Avenue.  While waiting for my food, I saw a Metro bus worker in the restaurant fucking up some jerk chicken.  I swear he chewed the bones and all.  I get so much life from watching the trade eat.  

I know that's not my normal weekend of drunken debauchery, and just plain ol' Tom mother fuckery, but I'm trying to take a breather before Summer.  I have a feeling that it's going to be a CONJURE.  Stay tuned...

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If one of you mother fuckers don't me these damn shoes, I don't know what I'm going to do.  They retail for only 330 US American coins.  I mean, it's the least you people can do.  I'm sure that we will see that lady rocking these soon.  You know that lady Kanye.  She loves herself some Jeremy Scott.  The designer teamed up with Adidas to create the "JS Wings".  They are beat.  Fuck a Red Bull, these give me wings...

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Hey guys, I have important news, Ashanti is slated to star in 'The Wiz' as Dorothy...(car doors slamming, and people speeding away).  You know I'm really happy for her, she is such a talen-(lights go out) ted actress and singer.   Hello, is anyone there (repeated echo on "there")?

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So last week Tyra and he accused stalker appeared in court.  This guy apparently called and followed Ms Tyra.  He became more aggressive and threatening when Ms. Tyra didn't return his phone calls.  Who would be scared of this nigga?  His ass looks like a deacon.  

Anyways, Tyra doesn't have enough time to call anyone back, with all of that lace front application?  Chile boom!  Congrats to her though for finally looking normal at court.  She looks classic and chic, not her normal cheap and tranny.  

Get into her Loubi...

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Okay, thank you Sydney for putting the people on to this dance.  The "Halle Berry"?  You guys have to let me know about these things, you now I'm 30 now.  Anyways, the dance looks like a complete conjure.  No heterosexual man should be doing the "Halle Berry" dance.  It looks like a queen choreographed it.  I've been doing the "Halle Berry" for years, I just didn't give it a name, and ain't nobody ever gave me nothin'!  

Anyways, I scoured YouTube to try and find the most masculine performance of this dance, and every single man doing it looks like a faggy.  If I see any guys doing it, I'm assuming that they're gay, and I'm sticking my finger in their butt.  So without further adieu...