Monday, May 04, 2009

The Weekend Wrap-Up, I Believe I Can Fly..., Ashanti and Tyra Tea, HALLE BERRY?,

Hello Fuckers, I missed you guys.  What did you guys do this weekend?  Drop tea, I wanna know.  I didn't do much at all.  I will probably be on hibernation until after my trip to Dominican Republic.  I've been spending way too much money, and making way too little.  I've put myself on a bud.., hold on I can say it.  I've put myself on a budg...(fanning myself).  I 've put myself on a budget, alright!  There I said it!  I don't like the "B" word as much as the next queen, but something has to give.  So what do you do when you don't wanna spend money to go out?  I've been opting to stay home and fuck.  Fuck, fuck, fuck...  That's all I have been doing.  My young trade piece is finally getting pretty good.  I've taught him the ropes, and I think he finally hit a high score on Thursday night.  He can stick around for a while.  
So much for the Monday morning "Fuck Talk".  On Saturday, my girlfriend's son and daughter both attended prom.  I can remember as if my Prom were yesterday, or 14 years ago.  Which ever comes first. 

That's my sweet Nephew Raymond, and his date.  She was very pretty and voluptuous, if I may add.  I swear these little girls look like Snoop Dogg video extras at the age of 16.  We didn't look all "grown" coming up.  I swear it must be the hormones in the food.  Raymond told me that they were going to be freaking in the corner at Prom all night.  I swear if they played Go-Go, I'm sure someone is taking the "Morning After Pill" today.  

That is sweet Raven and her date, (clinches teeth) "Swagger".  Randy, a.k.a. "Swagger is at least 32 or 33.  He's right along in age with me, or at least it seems.  He has been out of school for years, but insist on still attending High School functions and events.  Let it go "Swagger", I  I', hoping the kids had fun, and no one in their class go the swine flu, or impregnated.  
Yesterday morning before work, I had breakfast with my wife Melissa.  We vowed way back in my Nordstrom days, that if I were to ever "go that way", that we would get married.  That would be kinda' hard these days being that she is married now, but her husband Andre will just have to understand.  Work yesterday was uneventful, and Normie came out to Tyson's to walk on me.  We rode back into the city, and I got life from some Jerk Chicken at Sweet Mango's on Georgia Avenue.  While waiting for my food, I saw a Metro bus worker in the restaurant fucking up some jerk chicken.  I swear he chewed the bones and all.  I get so much life from watching the trade eat.  
I know that's not my normal weekend of drunken debauchery, and just plain ol' Tom mother fuckery, but I'm trying to take a breather before Summer.  I have a feeling that it's going to be a CONJURE.  Stay tuned...


If one of you mother fuckers don't me these damn shoes, I don't know what I'm going to do.  They retail for only 330 US American coins.  I mean, it's the least you people can do.  I'm sure that we will see that lady rocking these soon.  You know that lady Kanye.  She loves herself some Jeremy Scott.  The designer teamed up with Adidas to create the "JS Wings".  They are beat.  Fuck a Red Bull, these give me wings...


Hey guys, I have important news, Ashanti is slated to star in 'The Wiz' as Dorothy...(car doors slamming, and people speeding away).  You know I'm really happy for her, she is such a talen-(lights go out) ted actress and singer.   Hello, is anyone there (repeated echo on "there")?


So last week Tyra and he accused stalker appeared in court.  This guy apparently called and followed Ms Tyra.  He became more aggressive and threatening when Ms. Tyra didn't return his phone calls.  Who would be scared of this nigga?  His ass looks like a deacon.  
Anyways, Tyra doesn't have enough time to call anyone back, with all of that lace front application?  Chile boom!  Congrats to her though for finally looking normal at court.  She looks classic and chic, not her normal cheap and tranny.  

Get into her Loubi...


Okay, thank you Sydney for putting the people on to this dance.  The "Halle Berry"?  You guys have to let me know about these things, you now I'm 30 now.  Anyways, the dance looks like a complete conjure.  No heterosexual man should be doing the "Halle Berry" dance.  It looks like a queen choreographed it.  I've been doing the "Halle Berry" for years, I just didn't give it a name, and ain't nobody ever gave me nothin'!  

Anyways, I scoured YouTube to try and find the most masculine performance of this dance, and every single man doing it looks like a faggy.  If I see any guys doing it, I'm assuming that they're gay, and I'm sticking my finger in their butt.  So without further adieu...


Troy N. said...

let me find out you're fuckin' some other kat..

Q said...

Troy, I'm sorry. I'm so sad you had to find out this way... So where does this leave us?

Troy N. said...

Note to Q:
9:00 pm with no clothes on

Corey Keith said...

I love that guy doing the Halle Berry! Mmmm.. I went and you-tubed this and was pleasantly pleased at the cuties dancing!

Q said...

Troy: Yes sir. I will report to duty at 9 p.m. sir. What else do you want sir?

Corey: He is a cutie, but you will never see any guys up North doing it. They couldn't see it. lol

M.D. Rice said...

Girl, did the video trade break out into a vouge?? LMBAO

dancehard said...

Are you kidding me?! I'm sorry, but that dance REEKS of HOWWW UUUU DOIN??!! This is some ish I would see hanging with the kids at 708 in atlanta!

Even a fervent "NO HOMO" couldn't clean this up....but I LOVE IT! WERQ!