Happy Wednesday fuckers! I'm back at it today. Yesterday I felt like I was Robin Givens back in the late 80's, and Mike punched me square in my head! I had the migraine of life. I pretty much had a lazy day all day. I rose when the sun went down (you guys know I'm a vampire), and got something to eat. You know what it was--Popeye's son! The nice urban girl who took my order interrupted me and said, "Oh my God, your hair is so fuckin' pretty!" She turned to the other cunt who worked there for affirmation, but she wasn't really using me. She gave, "I know I be seein' him in here all the time.", while shoveling fried chicken for blood! After my Ebonics 101 crash course, needless to say my headache was worse. I stopped by 7-11 for a Slurpee and headed home. After watching bad reality television until 1:00 a.m., I couldn't fall asleep for the life of me. I counted a whole lot of fuckin' sheep last night, and nothing! I watched the sun rise, and cursed for having to be at work at 9. Thank God I'm off tomorrow.
I am looking forward to my weekend. I have my college Homecoming. We are having a dinner/reception at The Ritz Carlton. It will be great to see friends that I haven't seen in a while. As for now I'm at work and cranky, so fuck off...
Why did that nasty butt fucking faggot Rihanna wear those thigh high perforated Stella McCartney boots walking around in New York yesterday? She is the most over hag EVER! I live for her, and no one--I repeat, NO ONE can touch her swag. She has the swag flu! The bitch is so sick!
Speaking of butt fucking (blank stare), Chris Brown started his community service last week. He definitely looked good while he did it. He can serve my community any day--No Homo! I applaud Chris for admitting to doing wrong, and for paying his debt to society. I swear I should go down to Tappahanock where he is performing his service, and bring him a hot meal and a cold drink. I would wipe his brow with a cold towel, and... Anyways, hats off to Chris.
While Chris Brown escaped jail, someone else didn't...
Plaxico "Pretty Ricky" Buress has to serve approximately 20 months in jail. All I know is, he better stop "smizing" (smiling with his eyes) before he heads off to jail. With those bedroom eyes, and...
...these cakes, he may need a doughnut to sit on when he's finally released. Tip to Plaxico: Don't even use bar soap, something in a squirt dispenser would be best for you! I know that he was released from his team, and hopes to return after he serves his sentence, but I say fuck it! Shouldn't he just join the Coco Dorm boys and make us all happy? I would buy a subscription then--totally homo!
I was in the liquor store last night, and couldn't believe how many cakes this white man had. Perhaps it was his skinny pants? I don't know, but he was trying to battle me and I didn't care for it myself. Wait until I hit that Kanye workout plan, he won't want any. Fuck wit it!
Why was this queen reading his (her) book so gay? What do you think he (she) was reading? I'm gonna say it was something be Danielle Steel? Don't you guys think? Get into his (her) Birkenstock's though. Was he gay, or a lesbian?
Did someone say lesbian? She was the beatest dyke EVER! Doesn't she look like she has a piece? I swear I saw a dick print. She would have probably fucked me better than any trade I could ever imagine. Her bound breast, and pleated work pants are the ruler! I get life, and I'm not kidding!
Early morning? Did this mother fucker even put a comb to his head? It looked like he partied all night long, went to a kegger, had a circle jerk, went to IHop, and put on his suit for work--no shower. I die!
Train trade playing video games. I got life from him. He was bopping his head to my Jay-Z. Obviously, it was so loud that he could hear it. He was mouthing the words and gave me the "head nod" when he got off the train. Gotta love it!