And My Weekend Went A Lil Sumthin' Like This..., Awwwww, Lawd Oprah!, Sexy Can I?, and Caught by Q...

I hope everyone is starving themselves in preparation for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. When I say "everyone", I mean everyone but myself. You guys don't need to put on any extra weight, I've been meaning to tell you all that you've been looking a little thick around the hind parts lately.

Anyways, my weekend was pretty mild in comparison to the rest. I kicked it off on Thursday by attending a "meet and greet" social for an upcoming event I'm doing. The social was cute, and the turnout was amazing being that we had a monsoon here in D.C. that night. It was raining like it was summer time. I'm talking about thunder and lightning, like it was on some August shit! Around 11:30 J and I had to leave to catch the midnight showing of 'New Moon'. Upon arrival at the theater we ran into two of my besties. Hi girls! The movie theatre was packed.

You know my greedy ass wanted some popcorn! It took us almost a half hour! The movie was good. It definitely kept my attention. Maybe it was that lil wolf boy that kept coming on screen with no damn shirt on? Whatever it was, I didn't feel the need to fall asleep once. We left the movies around 2:15, and headed home. I had to be up at 6:30 for work, I was not in the best mood when I got there. People were saying "good morning" to my ass, and I acted as if I didn't even hear those motherfuckers! Take note: Quincy is not a morning person...

Thank God the day went by quickly. I rushed home to eat, shower, and get into bed. No going out for me!

The next morning I woke up feeling rested for work. I had a pretty good day there, and I even got a visit from my favorite B.D. (you figure out what that means)! Thanks for stopping by B and E!

After work I rushed home to change. I was meeting up with Normie, Nikki, and Jonathan. Lauriol Plaza it was! We had a great dinner--correction: They had a great dinner! I only had a salad. Who gon check my waistline boo? After dinner we went to see 'Precious' AGAIN!!!! Nikki and Jon had never seen it before. The white fag hated it, but he's not a good gauge of things really. I think he hates everything besides Dolce and loose diamonds.

Yesterday I worked. It was wack! I came home to prepare myself for more "wackness"! Wackness=The American Music Awards

If you didn't see it, your ass didn't miss a damn thing. That was one of the worst Awards show I have EVER seen (next to anything BET has ever produced). It was boring, and most all of the performance were lackluster. Rihanna looked amazing as always, but sounded like somebody kicked her in her throat before she walked out on stage.

I'm not even gonna comment on Whitney's performance, because I don't wanna disrespect that woman like that (tapping foot, trying to hold my peace). Awwww, fuck it! That bitch sounded horrible! All of that damn crack has ruined her voice! Instead of singing, I think the audience would have just preferred her to drop the mic and do a line of cocaine live on television. That would have been a tad more entertaining that what the fuck she did. Sorry Auntie Whitney (shrugging shoulders)?

Thank goodness for Lady Gaga! This bitch is crazy as hell, but at least she knows how to put on a performance. She looks great, she sings live, and she breaks bottles and shit. That's what I call a performance.

Ummm, no comment! I have the right to remain silent. The fifth amendment protects me from being forced to self incriminate myself...

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(rolling on floor crying) Awwwwwwww Laaawwwwwdd, somebody say it ain't so! (throwing plates and glasses against the wall) Opraaaaahhhh Noooooooo!!!! It seems that Auntie Oprah is calling it quits. Ms. Winfrey if you're nasty, is slated to end her show in September 2011. She's had a good run. The bitch has more money than ALLLL of Dubai! She has more Louboutins than Louboutin has himself, and what the fuck else can that bitch talk about? That's a whole lotta damn talking. 25 years, I say goddamn!

I have a feeling that she's gonna go Michael Jordan on our asses and comeback after a couple of years. I'm sure the show will be a tad different, but we haven't seen the last of Oprah's big ass on our television.

What do you guys wanna bet that after George Bush kissed Oprah he went to the bathroom, scrapped his tongue, and screamed "NIGGERS" to the top of his lungs?

We'll miss you Oprah...

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I was talking to one of my girlfriends the other day about her new found infatuation with sex toys. It started me to thinking about myself and if I'd ever be interested in using them? First of all, I have too many shoes. Where do you store these things?

This apparatus is used to keep your partners butt in the air while you guys are... Do I really need to pay $59.99 for that? Oh, by the way sorry about the gay butt sex shot so early in the morning...

These are add ons. With your purchase you might like these Astroglide shooters. They are individual packages of lube. These actually may come in handy (dialing 800 number to order).

Speaking of lube, this is a lube applicator. The website said that it's used when you need a more "localized distribution of lube". That silver thing looks like the oil can that the tin man in 'The Wizard of Oz' used to grease hiself down with. I don't think I want any parts of that. It looks like a mechanics tool.

Ummmm, again I have the right to remain silent. The fifth amendment protects me from being forced to self incriminate myself...

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What in the 'Sarah Plain and Tall'? These nice young ladies were standing on my corner when I left out for work on Friday morning. Now the usual street bum, or even a dog walker are permanent staples on my block, but this? Where were they going, and why were they in the middle of the city looking lost? Their skirts are over though, very Hussein Chalayan.

What in the Proposition 8 is going on here? They were being pretty affectionate on the train, and these conservatives who were standing on the train watching couldn't take it. I was just waiting for something to pop off so I could defend them. Even though we're in a big city, it's still conservative DC. Let those gays hold hands if they want! I have to see fucking breeders do it everyday! Even though the couple was wearing bad shoes, and even worse jeans, I let them walk (meaning I gave them the stamp of approval). Homos are taking over the earth!

Get into my reflection taking the picture through the glass.

What in the "before" shot in a Pantene commercial is going on here? She needs some conditioner bad! No bullshit I was gonna dial 911, that's an emergency! Her whole head of hair looks like pubes! She either needs to shave her shit and go "Amber Rose", or get a DEEP DEEP DEEP conditioner. I'm talking "so deep I put her butt to sleep" deep. Obviously she doesn't have a gay friend to help her. I wanted to give her my card with a frowny face that I drew myself on the back, but thought it'd be mean. Just pray for her you guys!

Who caught the Ice Cube reference?

Happy Monday Suckas!