Monday, December 07, 2009

Sing along with me..."Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack..."


So I guess you guys really read my blog huh? You've noticed that my ass hasn't updated in well over a week. I've been on busy gay, let me tell ya! Between work, my fashion showing, my dear bf (who has been so understanding this week), buying accessories, skimming fashion mags, eating numerous dinners out, and being a bitch, I've had absolutely NO time to blog. I'm sorry, I'm here now, I'll never leave you for that long again.
Before I start this posting, let me say something to my first "blog hater". I guess I'm doing something right, because the people are talking. (stern look and pointing finger at computer screen) ...and If I find out that "you" (you know who you are) are the one that left that stupid
ass comment on my blog, I will kick yo muthafuckin' ass. As I've said before, I grew up in the suburbs, but I can get real hood all over that ass real quick. Don't try me! 'Mean Girls: "You can't sit with us!"
(whistling) Anywho, the past couple weeks has been a whirlwind. Let's start with Thanksgiving Eve dinner at Masa 14 with Jonathan and Nikki, two of my co-cast members of 'The Real Housecunts of DC'. We had a great meal. These shrimp were the bomb.


After dinner, we went to see...


Kim "Thank you Big Papa over jewels and Bentley "close your legs to married men" Nene's a moose Zolciak. She was performing her hit song (side eye) 'Tardy for the Party' at EFN lounge. There were more gays there than a Chris Brown concert! It was packed! She appeared to be on something though, like prescription pain killers or Nyquil and wine? I don't give a fuck though, she is the ruler of the land!


So you already know if we got together, we must do an editorial photo shoot...

This one should be part of the 'November issue non-color blocking story'. Black with pops of purple are all the rage for Fall! It's so over to just make up shit...


I just wanna know one thing? Who the fuck gon check us boo?

Iphones(check)!

After the gay invasion, we headed to Fly to party down with the "breeders". It was fun, we met up with my brother Borzou and friends. After the club, Manny and Olga's it is! Nothing says good night like greasy pizza and even greasier french fries.

While we were there, we saw Al B. Sure's cousin--Al B. Unsure.


We also caught this cunt out with ALL of this going on. I wanted to warn her not to stand so close to the oven in fear that her highly flammable garments would combust into flames. I decided not to though, I was sleepy and the next day was Thanksgiving.


Yummy! We had lots of turkey, stuffing, veggies,

and cakes.


Awww, and look at my dear sweet grand nephew Aiden. How adorable. He's like the best baby EVER! He hardly said a peep the whole time. Now I could have a baby like that. I would maybe consider having one of my own if someone taught them to change their own diapers. I mean, it shouldn't be that hard?
After Thanksgiving, I was thrown into 'Black Friday' work mode. It was the blower of the century! It wasn't our normal customer. They were all asking where the sale merchandise was. I politely told this lady that we weren't Best Buy. We don't have no damn door busters bitch! Kick rocks!
On Saturday, we had a birthday celebration to attend at...just guess! It seems that after I took Christian Louboutin there, ALL of DC are flocking to that place. Upon entrance I saw this man.


He looked like an Andy Dick impersonator "Andy Cock"? His 70's Hustler porno perm was over! We didn't stay for long. After Secret's we went to hang out with the breeders once more.

...not before we had a photo shoot in the bathroom with our furs--it was cold as hell that night. I actually wore two coats. It was over!
Last week was crunch week. Between work I nudged fittings for the models in my schedule. This is Pierre, he is the owner of Anthony one of the stores were I pulled men's looks from. He opened a bottle of wine for us, and showed us around.


After doing this at 6 other locations, we were reading for the Art/Fashion Showing. It was on last Thursday. We had an amazing turnout. There were Louboutins galore in the room. It ws one of the best looking crowds I'd seen in DC in a while. Here are only a couple of pic from the showing, trust that there will be many more to come!

A cute look from Betsey!


We even had dancers! Thanks Chris...

Here's another Chris. Happy 18th!





The models after the "All Black Everything" scene. It was sick!

(deep breath) Ok, so now do you guys see why I hadn't updated the blog? A bitch has been busy. You're only as good as your last party, so stay tuned for the next one...(wink)

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I saw this nice little lady on the bus the other day. She had the beatest french roll. Remember the french roll? She looked like she had just left the salon getting it done. I bet she had a mean pot of greens cooking on the stove for her Sunday dinner the next day as well. "Come on in baby and get some of mama's faaaaaaamous fried chicken!"



Ocho Cinco? (clears throat) Ummm? (wipes brow with towel) Maybe? (loosens top button on shirt) I was just meaning to tell you that...(uses own hand to massage one side of neck)... Awww damn! Boy, I say your cover was lookin' suthin' kinda like a bomb! All in favor of him moving the book say "I". Boy, I say that body is sitting!

Speaking of sitting...This big bitch Aretha Franklin has really lost her mind! Why hasn't anybody put the 3 of them on 'The Biggest Loser'? When I say the three of them, I mean her and those two gigantic titties! God damn! Actually, I don't believe Michael Jackson died. I believe Aretha ate his ass in a fit of rage.

How many minks gave their lives so that Aretha may live? Then why was she carrying that damn Prada bag? It doesn't even go with anything? If I were at the Rockefeller tree lighting I would have tazed her, and temporarily put her out of her misery. Drop the biscuits Aretha!


So you can turn a ho into a housewife? It seems that Deelishis from 'Flavor of Love' is having another baby. I guess she has a man that is accepting of her slobbing down that burnt alien some people call Flavor Flav. I couldn't see kissing anyone after their lips had touched his. That is waaaay gross, it makes me wanna throw.
The good thing about Deelishis being pregnant is that at least for 9 months her stomach will protrude just like her gargantuan ass does. (blank stare)

That's all fuckers!

2 comments:

Q, Truly said...

o how i've missed u boo!

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