Let me just start off by saying, I'm hoping that was some good pussy, because your wife is about to be "broke off". It seems that everyday at least 2-3 women are coming out saying that they have had sex with you while you were married to your wife. Actually, damn? I may have had sex with you? I'm not saying it's unusual for men in sports to have affairs, but you have brought that pimp shit to the golf world. I think you may be the first.
Now Gatorade has pulled you from endorsing their products. You better start swinging some golf clubs real soon because your wife is gonna sue the shit out of you. I have a suggestion for you. I'm thinking that we'd all like to see you do the remix for 5o cents 'Baby by Me'. Now that would be hilarious. Hope your mother-in-law feels better.
P.S. Just in case you've forgotten, I have attached the names of all women who have come forth and said that you stuck your club in their hole.
For all you 'New Moon' fans, make sure you catch the wolf with the body Taylor Lautner on SNL this Saturday. Can you guys believe that motherfuckin movie has grossed over 500 million dollars worldwide? All of those damn tweens rushed the theatres to see Bella acting crazy jumping off cliffs and shit. She was going gaga over that vampire dick. I'm not mad at you Bella, some good dick will cloud your vision.
Anyways, Saturday night...
I saw this man on the train on my way home last night. Doesn't he look like he's into some freak nasty S&M? Either that, or he likes to be fisted. You make the call. And yes I said "fisted" before noon. Shoot me!
Maybe it's the weather, or maybe Aunt Flo is making her monthly visit past my crib, but these past couple of days I haven't been in the best moods. Yesterday at work I definitely had a couple of Alexis moments. I was a bitch a roller blades. The "new girl" in my department asked me one too many questions yesterday. When I had too much I said, "Who are you, Alex Trebek?", and then I walked off without answering her. She's Vietnamese so I don't think she knows who Alex Trebek is, but it was funny to me.
Get into this scene where Krystle accuses Alexis of firing the gun that startled her house therefor making her lose her baby. The writers for this show had to be a bunch of queens, because who comes up with this shit? "You mean when she slapped me, so I tore off her wig and threw that, and her oscar through the french windows?" Every time I watch old clips of Dynasty, I look for Lady Gaga to jump out and perform 'Bad Romance'. So gay! Get in!