Tuesday, September 07, 2010

And My Weekend Went A Lil' Somethin' Like This..., Caught By Q, T+T+E=, and What You Talkin' Bout Willis?

Wow, it's my first "Weekend Wrap-Up" in months. I may be a little rusty, so don't judge me. As always, I'm hoping everyone had a great weekend. The weather here in DC was gorgeous thanks to Hurricane Bob or Ryan or Alejandro, whatever it's name was. It brought a "cold front" here, which made the weather normal. Last week I could have sworn I had died and gone to hell. Maybe I was just hallucinating, but I'm quite certain I saw the devil walking through Chinatown?
On Friday I had a me day. After a quick meeting, I went to my microderm appointment in Chevy Chase. While skimming magazines in the waiting room, the doctor came out and said, "Quincy Jones?" I nodded yes and started to gather my things to have my procedure done. The doctor said, "Oh, I won't be performing your procedure today, I recognize you from Facebook. You're friends with one of my friends." I smiled and put my shades back on. As I sat there, I thought to myself, "Even doctors Facebook stalk!"
After my appointment, I headed into Georgetown to meet my friend. We got manicures and then headed over to The Four Seasons for apertifs and a bite to eat. Not too much though, Fashion Week is coming! After Four Seasons, it was off to Cafe Milano for dessert and a bit of people watching. Not so much us watching people, but the other way around!

(Sidebar) Congrats to my friend for making Washingtonian Magazine's Style Setters list for 2010. Pick up a copy, and check out her blog here www.aureta.net.

After dinner number 2, I went to Chinatown to meet J for a movie. 9:40 at Chinatown was probably not too good of an idea. I felt like I was on Soul Plane. People (When I say "people", I mean Black people) were talking to the screen, and answering cell phones in the middle of the movie. I could have sworn I heard someone ordering a pizza or something. I was mortified, but the movie was entertaining. Chris "Eat the cake Annie Mae" Brown looked so damn good, and T.I. was just dreamy!
After the movies, I met up with a friend and we headed over to Donovan House. The night was lovely, and the view was amazing. After seeing a drunk girl drop her clutch in the pool, and an even more drunk guy JUMP in the pool it was time to go.

On Saturday I slept late. When I did actually rise from the dead, I went to get a haircut. After I got my tresses snipped, I met up with my friends Migdalia and Crystal (friends from my Alma Matter M.U.), they were in town for the weekend.

There's Jaden, Migdalia's son putting the moves on Kendall, Crystal's daughter. He's starting early. Fucking men!
It's always great to hang with my peeps from college. We always reminisce on our youth! I was quite the wild child. I have some stories for your ass! lol...

Speaking of ass...

Later on in the night, my friends and I ended up here. Secrets! It's the greatest place on earth. If it was good enough to take Christian Louboutin, it's good enough for ANYONE goddamit!

After many gay mirror self pics, and lots of dick and balls being swung in our faces, I had worked up quite the appetite. We headed over to my girlfriend's restaurant Oohs ans Ahhs on U St.

There's some bitch that was sitting at the bar, and her bad wig...

...and there's Norman and Dwayne waiting for their food. I had catfish, greens, and mac and cheese. I still have a 26 inch waist--ain't nothin' changed!

If that late night meal wasn't enough, the next morning I headed over to Creme to meet J for brunch.

That's me in the elevator chunkin' up the deuce. I live on the 10th floor, so I have plenty of time to take pics of myself on the way down...

Fried Chicken and waffles on deck!

After brunch, I met up with my college friends again one last time before they headed out. We walked around Georgetown, and enjoyed the beautiful weather.

Later in the day I met up with Ky'Leigh and Dwayne at Busboy's on K. It was so nice that we wanted to sit outside. After waiting for about 5 minutes, the hostess retrieved us from the bar to escort us to our seats. When we arrived at where we were supposed to be seated, some old queen (gay fossil) was sitting at our table. The hostess asked him who seated him there, and he shooed her off. I asked him if he stole our table, and he nodded "yes" without even blinking! I couldn't even be mad, it was kinda funny.
After dinner Dwayne and I headed out to the Fireplace for a drink. You guys know the bar that smells like vomit and jizz? Yeah, that one. I couldn't take it on Sunday night. There was at least 4 older guys there eye raping me, and I just felt gross. I apologized to Dwayne, and left. I headed over to Beacon Hotel rooftop--it was worse. I wish my grandmas were alive, because I would have taken them there on Sunday. It looked like a Golden Girls party in that bitch. I'm guessing guest from the hotel came up to crash the party, and they could have it! I almost jumped off the side of the building, but I was wearing Ralph Lauren Purple Label, and didn't wanna mess it up. I ran home as fast as I could, and got into bed.

Yesterday, lunch at Lauriol Plaza with Ky'Leigh and Norman. And then...

...pool party at The Capitol Skyline. Those are my sisters Darleata and Yaneek, they have perfect butts. All of the girls at the pool were jealous of their dunks!

Ask me why they had dancers dancing on blocks? This chick was wearing faux fur snow boots with a bikini. Is everything alright?

There's Darleata messing with this queen at the pool. You can't really see his body, but it looked like someone dipped him in honey, and then dipped him in red fur. That fire crotched fag needed a wax. Don't come to the pool if you're not pool ready. No one wants to see that shit!

Of course I needed some time to myself at the pool to take gay mirror self pics. It's all the rage, you should try it. Catch the guy in the back taking a leak. He came to the sink to wash his hands, but I couldn't see stopping my photoshoot!

Quincy and his angels...

After the pool, I went to meet up with friends for the movies. Hi D, A, and T! We went to see 'Animal Kingdom' at E Street Cinema. It was a great movie, just kinda of depressing. Call me a "chick flick bitch", but I like romantic comedies! There was nothing romantic or comedic about this movie, or the guy sitting next to me snoring like he was at home in bed. He payed ten bucks to come to the theatre to snore? He was knocked right after the previews!

...and the last gay mirror self pic of the day!

After the movies it was curtains for me. I was tired. The weekend kicked my ass (no homo). Peace!

Caught By Q

The other day I was minding my business and WWT (walking while texting). As I finished my text, I looked up and saw this! Is he kidding? If his back looks like this, what does his fucking crotch look like. If God has so allowed him to have a girl (or boy) give him a blow job, I'm sure it's some Clarence Thomas/Anita Hill pube on the coke can shit. So gross!


Well, the hood Beyonce and Jay Z, T.I. and Tiny were arrested together last week for possession of E pills. They couple were recently married after T.I. release from jail. Looks like T.I. is back to the big house. Don't drop the soap. I'd perform a crime just to watch that shit!

Nice mugshot T.I.!

Here's me practicing my mugshot.

Knock on wood that I've never been in handcuffs (well, by a police officer. well...), but If I ever do, I'd look forward to the mugshot. A slight tilt of the head, and a smile of the eye!

Good luck T.I.! Let me know what facility you're going to, so I can make a conjugal visit (wink).

What You Talkin' Bout Willis?

This is the first installment of "What You Talkin' Bout Willis?". It will be stories that make you say, "Awww hell naw". Like this one...

It's been rumored that 'Real Housewife' Michaele Salahi would be posing for an upcoming edition of Playboy magazine. Her camp has denied the rumors, and I really hope it's not true. Isn't there some magazine called 'Cougar' that she could pose for or something. Playboy is for young cooch, not middle aged vag! Sorry for saying "cooch" mom!

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