And My Weekend Went A Lil' Somethin' Like This--The Tuesday Edition, "Dirty Money", Dirty Old Man, "You Be Killin' Em!, and Just Say No!

Hey guys, sorry I missed the Weekend Wrap Up yesterday. I haven't really been feeling so fresh. I've been super bitchy (more than normal), and I haven't even been wanting to leave the house. Then to drive a stake through my heart, I find out that Chilli from TLC is getting another season of 'What Chilli Wants'? I just can't take another season of her baby hair. It may drive me into insanity.

On Friday I had family dinner with my play brother Borzou, his cousin, my play sister Nikki, and Normie. It's a tradition that we have kept going for well over a couple years now. We try to get together and catch up over what normally is an Outback dinner. This week it was Kushi, one of my favorites here in DC. The food was amazing as usual. It was their first time there, so we had to try EVERYTHING!

After the 5 of us devoured the equivalent of Gabourey Sidibe's snack, we decided to see 'Black Swan'.

I had already seen it, but it was worth a second run. The imagery in the film is amazing. If you haven't checked it out, go see it now. Go ahead, get up from your desk and go now. You can read this later!

(2 1/5 hours elapse)

So, you're back from watching 'Black Swan'? Great, I hope you enjoyed it.

After my movie on Friday, I decided to go home and rest. I had an early yoga class the next day. We said our quick goodbyes in the frigid cold, and scurried to our car.

The next morning I woke Normie up early so that he could come to yoga with me. I told him how fun it was, and he couldn't see me being the only one with the lean yoga body next summer. Our class started at 9 am, and we arrived shortly after. The teacher started right in doing some pretty difficult poses. I'm a little rusty, but I still remember most of the poses. Norman was a first timer--a first timer who has vertigo. After about 40 minutes of class, his head started to spin, and had to sit the rest of the class out. See I'm used to weird positions, so it doesn't bother me at all. (side eye)

After yoga, I came home and vegged out. I couldn't peel myself off the couch. Next thing I knew, it was dusk. I had a Christmas party to attend, but I just couldn't get it together. I was 2 seconds away from dousing my whole closet with lighter fluid, and then striking a match. I couldn't figure out a single outfit. Things would be so much simpler if I'd wear moo moo's like Andre Leon Talley.

On Sunday I met friends at Lauriol Plaza for brunch. I was still in a funk, but I couldn't see passing on Lauriol. The frozen margarita swirls made me feel much better.

There's Housecunt Nikki aka Big Meech. She's a fool!

Pretty Jilly on deck trying to steal Barrack away from Michelle. I bet Michelle would whoop that ass if she ever thought Jill would try it...lol.

After brunch I had "the itis". I napped until I had to go to a Christmas party later that night. The party was in Largo, MD. I had no clue where that was. If when you mention the name of where you're going to a cabdriver, and he speeds off, chances are it's a tad far. I'm just spoiled to being directly in the city. I couldn't ever see leaving for the burbs!

We arrived at the party at Holiday soiree around 8. The home where the party was held was gorgeous. It was well decorated, and the host was gracious.

Norman found his way to the table with the baked goods of course.

The only table that he DIDN'T find his way to, was the table with the fake Tiffany's jewelry.

For some reason someone thought that this was legal? I'm quite sure a home in the suburbs of Largo Maryland isn't an authorized dealer to sell Tiffany's jewelry? I'm so confused. Oh, and then they had Tiffany's shopping bags. Someone is going to jail, and it won't be me...lol.

There were also sunglasses there for 5 dollars a piece as well. We should all know my major pet peeve by now. Quincy hates cheap sunglasses. There is just no excuse! People who wear cheap sunglasses should be put in front of a firing squad. The devil on my right shoulder told me to pay for all of them, and destroy them publicly in front of the whole party. The angel on my left calmed me down though.

After the Canal Street scare, we headed home to watch Atlanta Housewives. That show gives me everything I need. The only thing that's missing from this season is Apollo dancing nude in a shower. If that happens, I'll jump from my balcony. I would have reached the pinnacle in life, why live anymore?

Did anyone catch Mariah's Christmas special last night? That girl was stuffed like a teddy bear in that dress.

It's not because she's pregnant, she ALWAYS wears her clothes too tight!

She just may be THE worst dressed female in Hollywood. After she drops this baby, if she's still wearing butterfly rings, platform mules, sweatpants rolled down at the waist, and baby tees still, I'm gonna have to do something about it! So tacky. Her stylists should have their anuses sewn up with burlap thread. So bad!

Oh, Happy Tuesday...

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I know, I know you guys think Diddy is so corny. I do too, but you know I love him. He's been "Diddy Boppin" around my heart ever since I was just a mere lad. No one does ghetto fab better than my man. In the video above, he gives us a couple of fashion tips--Diddy style. "Get you some accoutrements!" So sexy! (fans myself with 'Dirty Money' cd)

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When my roomie told me this story originally, I didn't believe it. We did a bit of research, and apparently it's true.

A 73 year old horny ass man from Zimbabwe stuck his wrinkly antique viagra needing dick inside of a chicken. Yes, I said a chicken! While he was fucking the chicken, his wife walked in on him. He was so embarrassed that he committed suicide by hanging himself from a true. It brings a whole new meaning to "I was embarrassed to death!".

What ever happened to the good old fashion way of getting yourself off? Hands maybe? Who would grab a chicken and start fucking it? I bet that chicken was clucking for filth!

I don't see a damn thing sexy about that. So gross! May his chicken fucking soul rest in peace though...

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I love Fabolous, and I love his new song, " You Be Killin' Em'. The video features video vixen turned Kanye's girlfriend turned back to video vixen Amber Rose. She looks great in the video, but I'm over the whole bald head shit. This bitch need to grow some hair, or borrow a lace front from Beyonce or something? Damn.

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Nancy Reagan just unveiled a new stamp with her late husband's image on it. The stamp commemorates what would have been Reagan's 1ooth birthday next year.

Is it me, or does this picture look like some 'Weekend At Bernie's' shit? I swear she died alongside Ronald, and they're just not telling us. If you look closely at the picture, there appears to be invisible string holding up her head and arms.

Nancy was at least 150 years old during the 'Just Say No' campaign in the 80's. I swear she has to be at least 200 now. If in fact she IS still alive, kudos to her. She may look like an old leather Chanel bag, but she's still here (maybe)?

Nancy to Obama: "Sign that bill you coon!"