Wednesday, January 05, 2011

And My Holiday Went A Little Something Like This, Dead Birds--Angry Birds, Playboy: The Cougar Edition, and Happy New Year From Coco T

Hey fuckers. Happy holidays, yadda yadda yadda. I took a brief blogging vacation during the holidays. I've also been on my work flow. Besides, it's so hectic blogging while drinking, and you try typing on a computer while making out under mistletoe. It's not easy, let me tell you. I hope everyone got exactly what they wanted for Christmas. I also hope you all took just bit of time to reflect and think about just how blessed we all are. I'm so grateful for my life, even though it may seem soooooo bad at times! I'm just being a baby. No bitchassness from me in 2011. We'll see how long this lasts?

Before I start off today, I'd like to wish my Kappas a Happy Founder's Day. The organization has been around for 100 years.

Wow, that's awesome. Many groups find it hard to stay together for a full calendar year. And while I never was interested in Greek life or was a Kappa myself, I definitely have had many different fraternities in me. Oh, I also used to watch 'A Different World', so that counts for something.

Anywho. On New Years Eve I was invited to my brother's uncle's restaurant for a surprise engagement soiree.

There's the happy couple Borzou and Nikki. My brother proposed on New Year's Eve at an intimate dinner, and then surprised her with family and friends shortly after. What a great way to bring in the New Year--happy and newly engaged. Congrats Brother, I love you!

There's my boo J at the party. I'm believing new Year's Eve is the only holiday where cardboard accessories are acceptable.

There's my bestie boo Normie and my brother Robert behind him throwing up gang signs.

So while we were having an intimate dinner on NYE, just across town my husband Chris Brown was doing the dougie at club LOVE. Check him out here...

Wow, I think I would let him beat me like he did Rihanna, no bullshit! So cute! I'm sure it's worth it.

On the other side of the country in Vegas, my other husband Kanye was partying it up with Jay Z, Beyonce, Gwenyth Paltrow, Rihanna and friends...

On New Years Day I chilled around the house and prepared to have some friends over. It was going to be a girls night. My sisters Yaneek, Darleata, Meta, Tamika, and Ky'Leigh all came over to taste my special sangria recipe. By the time we had to leave the house we had a cute little buzz. It was my girl Claudia's bday, so we had to make our way to The W.

There's Claudia posing beside Yaneek's ass. If that's not T&A, I don't know what is...

Happy Bday Claudy Doddy!

Here's the fellas at the party trying to act cool...

After Claudia's party, we hit it to the trap. It was time to see some D&A (dick and ass).

There's Darleata and I. She has her cash in hand, all ready to make it rain. After the strip club I went home to put an ice pack on my stiffy and passed out.

The next day I slept all day long. It was definitely a lazy Sunday. J and I went to the movies to see 'Meet The Fockers' later on that night. While he was getting tickets, I was grabbing a couple sweet crepes from the vendor outside.

I had to smuggle them into the theatre. Let's just say that I could definitely get drugs and weapons pass a security checkpoint. The movie was cute--a little too slapstick for my taste, but cute. I don't remember much of the movie though because I was sitting there racking my brain as to why Bravo wasn't airing ATL Housewives for the second week. I just couldn't concentrate on a movie when there were issues much bigger than me at hand. I'm starting to pre-game now for Sunday's episode. So excited!

I'm also excited about finally seeing the Tom Ford SS '11 fashion show video. Of course we've seen still shots from the show, but it do the collection justice. Anything that man does gives me a semi. Beyonce needed to do something with that mane though. No shade.

Happy New year peeps. Oh, and I didn't win the 330 million last night btw. Ugh. Back to the drawing board...

Did you guys hear about the thousands of dead birds that fell from the sky on New Years Eve? I'm not quite sure what they have going on in Arkansas, but it's not cute. It sounds like some Apocalypse shit. Some people were actually hit in the head by dead birds while taking a stroll. Lord, I would shit in my bloomers if I were EVER to be hit in the head by a dead bird. Not just one, but thousands falling at a time? It would have been a heart attack wrap for me.
They say that they birds were possibly struck by lighting or above cloud hail.

This actually isn't the only case of dead birds falling from the sky. Louisianna also had cases. Dead fish have also been floating to sea in Haiti, Sydney, Wales, and Brazil.

Let me see one dead bird fall, and I'm outta here son. That's my word.

You know it would be a genius marketing tool if this were all promo for my favorite iPhone game Angry Birds. If I were in advertising, I would do some sick shit like that.

Me: Hey guys, no this could work. Let's drop thousands of dead birds all over Arkansas as prom for our new game. What do you guys think? I love it myself.

Ad execs: Quincy you are genius! We'll let's get out there and start killing some birds!


If one more washed up cougar tries to pose for Playboy, I'm gonna lose it. Who wants to see Toni Braxton's beaver in print. I sho as hell don't. I guess she has to do something to get out of the 50 million dollars of debt that she's supposedly in. I know you're desperate Toni, but no Playboy ok? My eyes just can't take it. We saw enough of your cooch back when you wore those high split gown back in the 90's. Here's what you do. Go get a tin can and sit on the side of Interstate 15 in LA with a sign that reads, "Un-break my Debt". Girl, you'll make at least a million dollars a day. Much better idea that doing a spread. (singing) "Puh-na na, what's my name? Puh-na na, what's my name?"

Hey guys, grab your bibles and douche bottles filled with holy water, it's Coco T time! Coco T is definitely one of our favorites here at quincyjones66.blogspot. As skanky as she is, we love her just the same. Here is Coco T with some New Years words of wisdom...

Coco T: "Guy advice for a happy 2011!U can stand 2 lose a few 2!Brush your teeth,clean your balls.Tell your women u luv her or trade up.Now your set!"

Coco T: "Ladies,for a happy 2011.Do squats,lunges, crunches.Buy some booty shorts & stripper heels. Tell your man u love um or trade up. Now your set!"

Coco T: "My advice for 2011 Don't hold back on anything u do, go full force!Stop lolly gaging!Were only here on this earth for a second."

Coco T: "I just got roses from my honey.So sweet!I'll give him a full body rub down in return...People U got to keep the relationship juicy..."

Wow, thanks for all the great advice Coco T! What would the state of America be without you? Thanks for being a great sport, and also for single-handedly making the profits for topical STD medications sore through the roof in 2010. A bust of your bust should be erected in your honor. We love you! (crowd chants: Coco T! Coco T! Coco T! Coco T!)


Anonymous said...

I don't use that pic of me, please replace it with a pic that displays my beatness... If I looked that dry that night you should have just ended my life.


Q said...

Sweety, we always look dry!

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