And My Weekend Went A Lil' Somethin' Like This--The Tuesday Edition, "Dirty Money", Dirty Old Man, "You Be Killin' Em!, and Just Say No!

Hey guys, sorry I missed the Weekend Wrap Up yesterday. I haven't really been feeling so fresh. I've been super bitchy (more than normal), and I haven't even been wanting to leave the house. Then to drive a stake through my heart, I find out that Chilli from TLC is getting another season of 'What Chilli Wants'? I just can't take another season of her baby hair. It may drive me into insanity.

On Friday I had family dinner with my play brother Borzou, his cousin, my play sister Nikki, and Normie. It's a tradition that we have kept going for well over a couple years now. We try to get together and catch up over what normally is an Outback dinner. This week it was Kushi, one of my favorites here in DC. The food was amazing as usual. It was their first time there, so we had to try EVERYTHING!

After the 5 of us devoured the equivalent of Gabourey Sidibe's snack, we decided to see 'Black Swan'.

I had already seen it, but it was worth a second run. The imagery in the film is amazing. If you haven't checked it out, go see it now. Go ahead, get up from your desk and go now. You can read this later!

(2 1/5 hours elapse)

So, you're back from watching 'Black Swan'? Great, I hope you enjoyed it.

After my movie on Friday, I decided to go home and rest. I had an early yoga class the next day. We said our quick goodbyes in the frigid cold, and scurried to our car.

The next morning I woke Normie up early so that he could come to yoga with me. I told him how fun it was, and he couldn't see me being the only one with the lean yoga body next summer. Our class started at 9 am, and we arrived shortly after. The teacher started right in doing some pretty difficult poses. I'm a little rusty, but I still remember most of the poses. Norman was a first timer--a first timer who has vertigo. After about 40 minutes of class, his head started to spin, and had to sit the rest of the class out. See I'm used to weird positions, so it doesn't bother me at all. (side eye)

After yoga, I came home and vegged out. I couldn't peel myself off the couch. Next thing I knew, it was dusk. I had a Christmas party to attend, but I just couldn't get it together. I was 2 seconds away from dousing my whole closet with lighter fluid, and then striking a match. I couldn't figure out a single outfit. Things would be so much simpler if I'd wear moo moo's like Andre Leon Talley.

On Sunday I met friends at Lauriol Plaza for brunch. I was still in a funk, but I couldn't see passing on Lauriol. The frozen margarita swirls made me feel much better.

There's Housecunt Nikki aka Big Meech. She's a fool!

Pretty Jilly on deck trying to steal Barrack away from Michelle. I bet Michelle would whoop that ass if she ever thought Jill would try it...lol.

After brunch I had "the itis". I napped until I had to go to a Christmas party later that night. The party was in Largo, MD. I had no clue where that was. If when you mention the name of where you're going to a cabdriver, and he speeds off, chances are it's a tad far. I'm just spoiled to being directly in the city. I couldn't ever see leaving for the burbs!

We arrived at the party at Holiday soiree around 8. The home where the party was held was gorgeous. It was well decorated, and the host was gracious.

Norman found his way to the table with the baked goods of course.

The only table that he DIDN'T find his way to, was the table with the fake Tiffany's jewelry.

For some reason someone thought that this was legal? I'm quite sure a home in the suburbs of Largo Maryland isn't an authorized dealer to sell Tiffany's jewelry? I'm so confused. Oh, and then they had Tiffany's shopping bags. Someone is going to jail, and it won't be me...lol.

There were also sunglasses there for 5 dollars a piece as well. We should all know my major pet peeve by now. Quincy hates cheap sunglasses. There is just no excuse! People who wear cheap sunglasses should be put in front of a firing squad. The devil on my right shoulder told me to pay for all of them, and destroy them publicly in front of the whole party. The angel on my left calmed me down though.

After the Canal Street scare, we headed home to watch Atlanta Housewives. That show gives me everything I need. The only thing that's missing from this season is Apollo dancing nude in a shower. If that happens, I'll jump from my balcony. I would have reached the pinnacle in life, why live anymore?

Did anyone catch Mariah's Christmas special last night? That girl was stuffed like a teddy bear in that dress.

It's not because she's pregnant, she ALWAYS wears her clothes too tight!

She just may be THE worst dressed female in Hollywood. After she drops this baby, if she's still wearing butterfly rings, platform mules, sweatpants rolled down at the waist, and baby tees still, I'm gonna have to do something about it! So tacky. Her stylists should have their anuses sewn up with burlap thread. So bad!

Oh, Happy Tuesday...

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I know, I know you guys think Diddy is so corny. I do too, but you know I love him. He's been "Diddy Boppin" around my heart ever since I was just a mere lad. No one does ghetto fab better than my man. In the video above, he gives us a couple of fashion tips--Diddy style. "Get you some accoutrements!" So sexy! (fans myself with 'Dirty Money' cd)

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When my roomie told me this story originally, I didn't believe it. We did a bit of research, and apparently it's true.

A 73 year old horny ass man from Zimbabwe stuck his wrinkly antique viagra needing dick inside of a chicken. Yes, I said a chicken! While he was fucking the chicken, his wife walked in on him. He was so embarrassed that he committed suicide by hanging himself from a true. It brings a whole new meaning to "I was embarrassed to death!".

What ever happened to the good old fashion way of getting yourself off? Hands maybe? Who would grab a chicken and start fucking it? I bet that chicken was clucking for filth!

I don't see a damn thing sexy about that. So gross! May his chicken fucking soul rest in peace though...

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I love Fabolous, and I love his new song, " You Be Killin' Em'. The video features video vixen turned Kanye's girlfriend turned back to video vixen Amber Rose. She looks great in the video, but I'm over the whole bald head shit. This bitch need to grow some hair, or borrow a lace front from Beyonce or something? Damn.

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Nancy Reagan just unveiled a new stamp with her late husband's image on it. The stamp commemorates what would have been Reagan's 1ooth birthday next year.

Is it me, or does this picture look like some 'Weekend At Bernie's' shit? I swear she died alongside Ronald, and they're just not telling us. If you look closely at the picture, there appears to be invisible string holding up her head and arms.

Nancy was at least 150 years old during the 'Just Say No' campaign in the 80's. I swear she has to be at least 200 now. If in fact she IS still alive, kudos to her. She may look like an old leather Chanel bag, but she's still here (maybe)?

Nancy to Obama: "Sign that bill you coon!"

Dear Diary, I Think I Have A Crush...

If you're a follower of my blog, you should know that Soulja Boy is so dreamy to me. I have no clue what it is about his overly urban down south garish swagger that makes me weak in the knees? Watch his new video for "Kickin" here. Wow! (wipes brow)

Talk about brow wiping...

Check out this months cover of Essence magazine. I was wishing it was a scratch and sniff cover, but it's not. All that chocolatey goodness on one cover is just not right! Boris, Blair, and Lance? Now that's a threesome I'd pay to watch (no hetero). Don't jude me.

Also catch the cover of UPSCALE with Clifford "I've got army guns" Harris aka T.I. Has anyone seen 'Takers' yet? I made my to the theater a number of times, but couldn't bring myself to see it. I've never masturbated publicly before, but feared doing it in the theater while watching T.I. and Chris Brown together. I'd wear a bow tie and everything just like Pee Wee Herman (reference: Paul Rueubens, a k a "Pee Wee Herman", was arrested July 26 1991 for jerking off at the South Trail Cinema, an XXX theatre. Reubens paid a $50 fine and did various and sundry community services. Children's television will never be the same.) (Pee Wee Herman laugh)

Last but not least on my Crush of The Week List is...

Me of course...

...and my baby's father Diddy aka "Ciroc Obama". Diddy is so dreamy. I have visions of him "Diddy Boppin" around my bedroom in some really tacky Sean John boxer briefs and Gucci high top tennis shoes (Again, don't judge me. You can't sensor fantasies! lol).

Check out his new 3 minute commercial for Ciroc. I die!

And My Week Went A Lil' Somethin' Like This..., Cheaters, "Laffy Taffy Bitches", Fat America, and "Diddy Bop"...

I'm gonna need you all to bow your heads now for prayer. (bows head) Lord, please heal this wretched headache of mine today. Hopefully, the 4 aspirin that I just took will help, but I'm asking now for divine intervention. Please heal and deliver me from this ailment so that I can go about my day and function as a normal (as normal as I can be) human being. In your name I pray. Amen. (lifts head)

I have sinus pressure right above my right eye that is not to be played with. This headache has come to destroy my life, and it means business. So before my head explodes all over my laptop, let's get to it...

Last Monday was my friend Billy's birthday.

That's him throwing up deuces. His sweet girlfriend Dionne hosted an amazing cookout at her house in celebration of the big day. Everyone came and brought lots of food, and even more alcohol.

We had quite the spread.

There's my boo taking his shift on the grill. I took the shift after him. And yes, I grilled in a bow tie. I'm so not kidding. After the night went on, we started to come up with more way to get drunk than just drinking...

So we injected strawberries with a rum/sugar mix. Now that's some drunk shit son! I'm not even gonna lie, it was good as hell though. After you've been drinking all day, and eating strawberries soaked in liquor, you start doing shit like this...

Wow, check out that curve to the right. Reminds me of a...never mind.

There are the boys being boys. You get enough men together, and ultimately there will be some shit talking going on.

Man 1: Man for real? So you sayin' I won't be able to jump off the top of the house and land on my feet?

Man 2: I'm just sayin', it IS a four story jump. What you soft? You a punk?

Man 1: Naw fuck that, Imma show your ass something hold on.

Next thing you know a 911 call is being put in. Boys! (shaking head)

Happy Birthday Bill.

(picks up remote, and fast forwards to Thursday)

On Thursday The "Housecunts" of DC went to Buddha Bar. The food is great, and the lighting is even better. That lighting might even make that ugly cro magnon ape ass cave man big-toothed disrespectful cheatin' ass Eric Williams look somewhat presentable (and by presentable I mean at least you wouldn't want to throw up).

Naw, fuck that. Even Oprah/RuPaul lighting couldn't help him. Shit!

Anyways, you know how Natalie from 'The Bad Girls Club' runs LA? Well, that's how The 'Housecunts' run Buddha Bar. Who wants to go for a Red Bubble (a drink at Buddha Bar)?

An editorial shot outside Buddha Bar. It always has to include a vernis Alma for some reason. How many of those things do The 'Housecunts" have between them? We'll have to tally that up.

After Buddha Bar we scurried over to Napolean for a flute of champs with my friend Omar at Napolean Bistro. The rest of The 'Housecunts' had to flee, but my ace Ky'Leigh came to meet, and we went to Steve's Bar Room.

When we got to Steve's at around 1 am, the party was proper. I just love the vibe there. We ran into our boys Peter Chang, and amazing artist Brandon Hill there. Check out Brandon's dope kicks.

So rad.

(picks up remote again, and fast forwards to Saturday)

After work on Saturday I went to see 'Just Wright' with Normie. Thank God I smuggled Chick-fil-A into the movie, because it was a bore! Common was fine as hell, but it was ruined by a...(holds mouth and stomach at same time)...a...(grabs for a barf bucket)...a love scene with Common and Queen Latifah. It just wasn't believable. It's like me doing a love scene with, I don't know? A woman? Queen Latifah was fantasizing the whole time about kitty kat while rolling in the sheets with Common. What a damn shame.

After the movie, I was traumatized. I needed a little retail therapy, and my neighborhood CVS was the only thing open. I picked up some eyes drops, maxi pads, and bleach--you know the usual. While skimming the isles, I saw this...

Why is Keisha Cole on the front of a perm box? I had no clue. This is just ridiculous. I can't take much more. I dropped all of my items, and ran out of CVS in a fit of rage. I ran all the back to my apartment, and locked the door behind me. Someone is trying to kill me by raising my blood pressure. Why on a perm box though?

Yesterday I woke up all ready for brunch. While walking to the brunch spot, we saw Precious--AGAIN! God she gets around!

Marvin was the scene of the brunch crime. Those shrimp and grits are so serious. I died! See how I fucked them up?

After brunch, we went upstairs to the rooftop for a drink. It was like my ex's all called each other, and showed up there. It must have been their weekly "WDIFIUWQ" (Why Did I Fuck It Up With Quincy) meeting. It's an actual support group, you know...

Here's Billy after $3.00 bottomless (no homo) mimosas. He tried his hand at tight rope walking every structure he could find from the restaurant to the car. Damn mimosas!

After Brunch I headed home to change. I had to meet The 'Housecunts' for dinner at home base (Lauriol Plaza).

Nikki and Erika had 'Breastfest 2010' going on yesterday.

Who invited the white girl?

After dinner with The 'Housecunts' I went back to Marvin rooftop. It was dead, so we didn't stay.

Only long enough for me to snap a shot of my gladiator sandals, then it was time to roll like a blunt!

Happy Monday tricks!

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You guys know what this is. It's 'Cheaters' bitch! The woman in today's clip is mad as hell, and she has the t shirt to prove it. It says, "Kitty's Not Happy". How classic.

The ho who was cheating gets flung around like a rag doll around the 3:37 sec mark. It will make your day, trust me. Oh, and if you're as ignorant as I am, you'll rewind it repeatedly and belly laugh.

Enjoy...

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Yesterday I posted one of my favorite video from my girl Alexyss Tylor. Today I thought It'd be fitting to post this one, because I had a recent run in with what Alexyss calls a "Laffy Taffy" bitch. Always in your fucking business, and don't know a damn thing.

I'm guessing the girl who was talking about Alexyss called her a lesbian, or as Alexyss says "lezbon". Alexyss goes on to say, "Bitch, how you know I'm a "lezbon? have you fucked me before? Do you wanna fuck me? I mean did yo get turned on when I had my damn leg up on the uh fireplace and shit? Do you fantasize about eatin' my motherfuckin' ass?"

This bitch is so over. I get so much life from her foul ass mouth. You'll be seeing a lot more of her. I thinks she may be my long lost sister? Check it out....

(puts two middle fingers up) Fuckin' haters!

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I woke up in the middle of the night on Friday, and saw this infomercial. It's for "Perfect Fit Button". It's literally a button that you can place on your pants to give you more room. Just another reason to enable "Fat America". That is some fat shit right there. Lose some damn weight if your pants are too tight. You won't catch me using "Perfect Fi

t Button", you'll hear me in the bathroom heaving over a toilet before I have to use that. I refuse!

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You guys know that Diddy can do no wrong in my eyes. I'll even forgive his corny ass for wearing gold fronts in his new video for 'Hello, Good Morning'. The track by his group, 'Dirty Money' features Rick Ross, and T.I. Mr. Diddy even gives me a little "Diddy Boppin" at the end. (fans myself) The track is cute. Check it out.

Diddy - Hello, Good Morning (ft. Rick Ross & T.I) from OJMovies on Vimeo.

Diddy Butt (Bop), Beyonce+Balmain, and Train wrecked...

Ummm, umm, ummm, ya'll don't tell me anything.  Why am I just finding out that Diddy loves to have his butt massaged?  He says, "Most people get foot massages, but I like to have my butt massaged..."  That is the ruler!  I'm wonderig if it's just the cheeks, or if it's a little more localized?  I'm not hating, I'm just saying.  I wish that more men would be honest about their behind closed door habits.  Ladies (I mean the real biological ones), I'm sure your men love a little butt action, but are too ashamed to admit it.  I'm not surprised if your dude has made you sign confidentiality agreements and some more shit before you could get anywhere near his hole.  "Don't be tellin' your girlfriends this shit, you hear?" It doesn't make you gay, it just means you like a little finger in your butt.  Kudos to Diddy for standing up and being comfortable with his sexuality.  

Call me Diddy if you need any help with that.  He got a DONK!

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OK, right after I give Beyonce some grace, she has to go and pull this?  Why did she shame this $12,000 Balmain jacket?  Those are no where near what kind of denim she should be wearing.  She should be wearing a lighter colored more distressed denim with an embellished jacket like that.  Also, her bag and shoes were all wrong (right Dwayne?).  She should have popped some color with a sick over sized clutch in maybe coral or red? First those goofy Nintendo commercials, and now you're shaming Balmain?  I love you girl, but get those tired queens you call stylist together!  Rihanna would have walked for days in that jacket and slayed!  Get it together!

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Train wrecked...

This trade speaks for himself.  I wish I could have gotten a front view picture of him.  His eyes were so dreamy.  He knew that I was staring at him, and at one point even gave me the "brother man head nod what's up".  I live!  I wanna adopt Malawian babies with him...

What in the High School Musical?  He was getting down to whatever he was listening to on his Ipod.  He was shaking his head viciously and mouthing lyrics.  What do you think he was listening to?  I'm gonna spring to say Nine Inch Nails?  Work Zac Efron!

Oh no, that's not a man.  This is the beatest dyke I've seen in a while.  No shade, I love my lesbians, but she was more man that I'll EVER be.  She (he) pimped onto the trade and sat down with her (his) legs spread like the trade.  She (he) looked like he was packing a vicious piece.  I'm scared...

The only reason I'm putting this cunt on blast is because she walked pass me and hit me with that tired ass vinyl bag of hers.  She looked at me, and realized that she knocked the shit out of my head, and didn't say excuse me.  Begin Read:  Her fake ass Dawn from Danity Kane ass had on the cheapest pumps I've seen since Wild Pair closed.  Her weave was jacked like shit, and she wore bad Victoria Secret body spritz.  Her Wet and Wild eyeshadow matched her flammable Forever 21 shirt, and she didn't even have any lip gloss on those dry ass lips.  End Read:  I'm done now...

Why, Oh Why...

Why is Ms. Diddy walking around with an injured arm?  Do you think Aubrey had something to do with it? 

Why is she now officially out of Danity Kane?  But who is gonna be the drag queen of the group? Ms. Diddy isn't stupid now.  I bet she is at MTV asking for another show, another nation wide search to replace Aubrey.  One of you girls should have asked Dawn the teas at Lotus on Sunday after she got full.  She would have told you everything.  Hadi, I was counting on you...lol.

Neffie Cole?