Tuesday, February 10, 2009

A Birthday, A Drag Queen, and A Trade...

What's the tea..?  Hope everyone had an amazing weekend.  First, I'd like to wish my sweet sweet child a Happy Birthday.  My bestest friend Norman's birthday was yesterday.  We partied like Arabs on Saturday, and went to Art and Soul for dinner last night.  If it's good enough for Oprah, it's damn sure good enough for us.  It's now 9:15 am the next morning, and I'm still full.  It's also my sister Natalie's birthday.  I can't wait until she's back form her vacation, so we can go out and mimic 'Girl's Gone Wild' videos.   
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So the other night I was talking to Norman on the phone.  I had an epiphany that Dolly Parton was the white version of Patti Labelle.  I then started to remember how over she was, and how much life I get from her.  She is the beatest most over garish ghetto trailer park drag queen tranny ass country performer that has ever graced a stage.  This country cunt is alway in full drag, and couldn't see not ever wearing a heel.  

Dolly says,"I look just like the girls next door...If you happen to live next to an amusement park."

"I modeled my looks on the town tramp." 
"It cost a lot to look this cheap..."

"I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department 4 hours to put it out."

"It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen."

"I'm not offended by all the dumb blond jokes.  I know I'm not dumb, and I know for certain I'm not blond."

"If you talk bad about country music, that's like talkin' about my momma, and them's be fightin' words."

"I hated school.  Even til this day when I see the school bus go by it depresses me.  The poor little kids..."

Dolly is the ruler.  What other cunt do you know has their own amusement park.  The bitch was born in 1946, but couldn't see looking a day over 46.  She has been pulled and tucked more than a bed sheet at the Four Seasons.  I get life, and die...
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Motherfuckin' Vernon Gholston, that's all I'm saying...

Whoa...



Oooop...

4 comments:

kofitheitboydc said...

Thank you for the nod to Dolly. She is LEGENDARY! I will always love her, also.

Chet said...

Happy Birthday to your bestest friend in the world "Norman".
Dolly the Drag Queen's Honorable Drag Queen...Tranny!
Vernon Gholston, damn why is when I mention his name I feel the need to get naked?

Acoustic Soul said...

Vernon Gholston looks like he might knock u upside the head!

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

u wild folk