Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Diddy Butt (Bop), Beyonce+Balmain, and Train wrecked...

Ummm, umm, ummm, ya'll don't tell me anything.  Why am I just finding out that Diddy loves to have his butt massaged?  He says, "Most people get foot massages, but I like to have my butt massaged..."  That is the ruler!  I'm wonderig if it's just the cheeks, or if it's a little more localized?  I'm not hating, I'm just saying.  I wish that more men would be honest about their behind closed door habits.  Ladies (I mean the real biological ones), I'm sure your men love a little butt action, but are too ashamed to admit it.  I'm not surprised if your dude has made you sign confidentiality agreements and some more shit before you could get anywhere near his hole.  "Don't be tellin' your girlfriends this shit, you hear?" It doesn't make you gay, it just means you like a little finger in your butt.  Kudos to Diddy for standing up and being comfortable with his sexuality.  
Call me Diddy if you need any help with that.  He got a DONK!
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OK, right after I give Beyonce some grace, she has to go and pull this?  Why did she shame this $12,000 Balmain jacket?  Those are no where near what kind of denim she should be wearing.  She should be wearing a lighter colored more distressed denim with an embellished jacket like that.  Also, her bag and shoes were all wrong (right Dwayne?).  She should have popped some color with a sick over sized clutch in maybe coral or red? First those goofy Nintendo commercials, and now you're shaming Balmain?  I love you girl, but get those tired queens you call stylist together!  Rihanna would have walked for days in that jacket and slayed!  Get it together!

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Train wrecked...

This trade speaks for himself.  I wish I could have gotten a front view picture of him.  His eyes were so dreamy.  He knew that I was staring at him, and at one point even gave me the "brother man head nod what's up".  I live!  I wanna adopt Malawian babies with him...

What in the High School Musical?  He was getting down to whatever he was listening to on his Ipod.  He was shaking his head viciously and mouthing lyrics.  What do you think he was listening to?  I'm gonna spring to say Nine Inch Nails?  Work Zac Efron!

Oh no, that's not a man.  This is the beatest dyke I've seen in a while.  No shade, I love my lesbians, but she was more man that I'll EVER be.  She (he) pimped onto the trade and sat down with her (his) legs spread like the trade.  She (he) looked like he was packing a vicious piece.  I'm scared...

The only reason I'm putting this cunt on blast is because she walked pass me and hit me with that tired ass vinyl bag of hers.  She looked at me, and realized that she knocked the shit out of my head, and didn't say excuse me.  Begin Read:  Her fake ass Dawn from Danity Kane ass had on the cheapest pumps I've seen since Wild Pair closed.  Her weave was jacked like shit, and she wore bad Victoria Secret body spritz.  Her Wet and Wild eyeshadow matched her flammable Forever 21 shirt, and she didn't even have any lip gloss on those dry ass lips.  End Read:  I'm done now...

7 comments:

Dusty Boot said...

Priceless...!

Ray Avito said...

Are Diddy and Kanye trying to play a game of revelatory one-upmanship? If so, please continues gentlemen, this should get good...

Jamar Herrod said...

I LIVE FOR THE READ ON THE GIRL AN DIDDY. The trade, did u see him TWICE u showed him b4 on here im like what??? lol.

Son of Baldwin said...

The last read is funny because I always wanted to say that out loud to people who are rude to me on the subway. LOL!

And the observation about the lesbian wasn't supposed to be funny, but I laughed madd loud. I feel bad, now.

M.D. Rice said...

You are fucking hilarious. I would have got that bitch who hit me with that purse. Read her like that faggot on college hill read that bitch on the boat, yesssss

Joey Bahamas said...

LMAO...Lita...GODAMMMMIT THAT HEAD PIECE IS PURE AND SIMPLE DRAGS!!!! I live...she's such a faggie!!!

JB

Promiscuous X said...

LOL qqqqqqqqqq lmao a mess

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