Monday, April 13, 2009

Weekend Wrap-Up, and Pimps Up, Hoes Down...


Good Morning my lovelies, forgive me for not posting on Friday.  It was a busy weekend for me.  I'm sure you all have been busy as well laying eggs, and getting suited into your bunny costumes.  I'm hoping that everyone had an amazing Easter.  So, I'll cut right to it.  Actually, this is part of the reason why I didn't post on Friday...

Those damn margarita swirls at Lauriol Plaza.  If you're not from D.C., when you come to visit you must try it.  They are addictive, and it only takes about 3 glasses to get you right where you need to be.  You know that place right between well over the legal limit to drive, but not sloppy drunk--just right.  After Lauriol Plaza, I went with friends over to my sister Joey's party at BeBar.  It was cute!  At the end of night I conjured the runway sprits of Claudia, Naomi, Heidi, Tyra, and Kristen.  I walked for blood then I left.  I couldn't see staying after that.  
The next morning my black ass had to be up for work.  I bet I wasn't conjuring any runway spirits then.  My ass was dragging.  I was way pass Red Bull status.  Do they have Purple Bull?  Anyways, I made it through the day with some prayer and many a bottle of water.  I came home after work and packed for my weekend at home with the folks.  
It was nice to go home to my church to see everyone.  I hadn't been in a while (a while=last Easter).  I especially was excited for my mother to go to church and wear her new pump.  My mother is the first lady, so of course she has to wear a nasty filthy church stiletto to make the girls know it.

...they're Casadei.  She couldn't see not buying them in the black as well. I get it from my Momma!  After church I took the nap of life.  My ass was up at 5:30 to get ready for 7 am sunrise.  What time did Jesus rise from the dead?  Was it that early?  After my nap I got up and cleaned up for dinner.  All of my brothers and sisters came over, and we ate down!  I'm bringing leftovers for lunch today.  On my way home my brother Kenneth conjured me to go out.  I wanted to go with him to Eye Bar, but I told an acquaintance that throws a party at Josephine that I would definitely be there.  I rushed home, splashed some water on my ass, and threw on some drag.  Yaneek, Darleata, and Tamika met me there.  I went to one of the first parties that he threw, and it was too much for me.  It has definitely evolved, kinda hood, but I think I like it.  My sister Betsey also came to meet, but couldn't take the hoodness.  She went over to Park.  How was it by the way? 
Those are the girls last night.  Darleata is a conjure.  Only a blazon faggy would wear a headpiece like that.  I live.  

That's Leata and I acting a fool.  We had a blast.  Everything was going alright until we saw this...


The cunt in the knee highs?  What the fuck was she thinking?  The only explanation I will take for her wearing that to the club is if someone drugged her and forced her to wear it.  That's it!  Get into their tired queen friend beside them as well.  Womp, womp, womp...  Better luck next time, try again!

There were some cute trade there though.  He was definitely one of them.  The only thing that was wrong is that he had on dress shoes with white sweat ankle socks.  What the fuck?  Was he going to church or jogging?  Pick one!  

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You guys have to get into this pimp!  I saw him the other day on Connecticut Ave., and had to snap a pic.  His ass looked like he just got out of a time machine.  This mother fucker took the beatest trip back to the 70's, bought that suit, and then he stopped in the 80's for the glasses.  I LIVE!  I seriously wanted to go up to him and ask if he would slap me and ask me where his money was.  If I were a ho, I would choose him as my pimp.  If I were a ho (singing like Beyonce), even just for a day...  Stop me!

Happy Monday Bitches, I'm late for work!

4 comments:

Sapphire Blu said...

"My ass was up at 5:30 to get ready for 7 am sunrise. What time did Jesus rise from the dead? Was it that early?"

OMG i just busted out laughing and i will act like it wasn't me if someone comes over here and ask what was so funny: nosy ass people!

Jamar Herrod said...

lmao. That drink looks so good though. Definitely..

Troy N. said...

nevertheless you made it to work and that's all that matters.

Ray Avito said...

Mom's pumps are killer! Love those.

...and a little Retro Pimp to make the day a little sunnier...