Monday, April 06, 2009

Weekend Wrap-Up, Ray of Light, Ray of Hope...?, and Train-wrecked...

Well, looky looky.  Happy Monday all, this weekend was cute.  I had so much going on all in the same night, but I seemed to manage it somehow. Friday night Normie came out to Tyson's Corner for a conjure at Ralph Lauren.  I worked until 9, so we decided o grab a bite to eat.  El Pollo Rico was the spot, it's the greasy spoon of Peruvian style chicken. I ordered a half chicken, rice and french fries.  Norman thought that i ordered a whole o tke some to work the next day, but my ass devoured it.  I made love to that chicken.  It was good as hell.  I went home showered, and hit the sack.  Saturday at work was a waste of my dear time.  Not only until I was about to leave did it get busy, but I couldn't stay.  I had to rush home and change to attend my good good friend's birthday dinner.

Yeeeeeessssss, there he is.  Mr Christon Pender is his name.  The birthday dinner was at 701 restaurant downtown.  It was an amazing time.  All if Chris' friends and family came to show love and support.  We even got up and spoke about how an amazing person he is.  Happy Birthday Chris!  I have watched you evolve into an amazing refined young man.  Keep up the good work!  MUAH!  After that dinner, I went to Ruth's Chris to help another friend celebrate a promotion.  You go Nik, don't hurt em!  We were in Ruth's Chris acting a fool.  We were taking ghetto pictures, pretending like we were in front of a back drop with Moet bottles on it.  The beatest pictures of all are when you have your back to the camera, and you look back.  If you want to make it even classier, bend over and place your hands on your thighs.  When I get the pictures, I will be sure to post them.  
After Ruth's Chris, I went to meet Joey at The Fireplace.  I haven't been there in ages.  It still smells like vomit and semen, nothing has changed.  The amazingly strong and cheap drinks are the draw.  After our drinks there, we met my brothers Borzou, Sohale, and Jorge at a spot called Panache.  Anytime that you spend with "family" is valuable.  After Panache, it was Lima.  Lima was cute, but it reeked of smoke.  I felt like my lungs were sticking together, so I had to fleece.  We went next door to Tattoo and listened to bad (good) jukebox music.  White girls were dancing about whilst swinging their blonde tresses to the likes of Bon Jovi.  Joey and I got our life and hit it.  As soon as we walked out of the bar, my friend Jonathan called to see where we were.  I had just left them a couple of hours ago at Ruth's Chris.  Apparently, the went to another bar and drank the night away.  They wanted us to come over to see our girl Abena in her drunken state.  We rushed over to the scene of the crime where we see Jonathan taking "Weekend at Bernie's" pictures with her.  He was propping up her head and forming her fingers into the shape of a peace sign.  She will have no clue until she's tagged in these pictures on Facebook.  

There's Nikki and Jonathan mocking Abena throwing up.  I do have pics of Abena herself vomiting, but they are too While we waited for Abena to finish throwing up, we called Geico and saved 15% or more on our car insurances, and then we hit it.  Joey and I went to the Chinese conjure spot for some nasty greasy Chinese food.  Needless to say, my ass was tired as hell at work yesterday.  I'm quite sure I fell asleep at least 4 times while standing up.  Last night I rushed home to sleep, which brings me to the present.  I'm blogging from bed on this rainy Monday.  I live!

Can somebody tell Madonna's ass that she just can't be going around snatching babies up from other countries?  There are rules and regulations Ms. Lady!  Besides, in the 90's she was shoving coke bottles in her vagina, now she's "collecting" children from all over the world? Get it together girl...


So last week my husband Michael Vick attended bankruptcy court.  I'm guessing that he is super broke from this circus these mother fuckers put him through.  He is scheduled to be working a construction job that pays $10 an hour.  On his first day I'm taking off work, and I'm going to be there with a bottle water, a towel, and some 45 spf sunscreen (he is already chocolate enough).  Hopefully he works shirtless, and jackhammers things in slow motion.  

You fly as hell, swagga right, brown skin poppin'...You turnin' me on!

This trade was sitting at the platform yesterday waiting for the train when I walked up.  I damn near choked.  I wish you could have seen his eyes, they were so dreamy.  Somebody let him know that my pirrahna bites...

This chick was on the train the other day, and I just had to snap a shot of her tresses.  I hate those kind of highlights!  They look so terrible.  Highlights are supposed to look natural.  She looks like a skunk.

This trade was on the train on Saturday morning.  He was trying to book the cunt in the seat behind him.  She wrote her number on a piece of paper?  What is it 1983?  I can't tell you the last time I wrote my number down for someone.  Don't we just put it into our phones?  Ooooooh, I get it now.  That conversation went a little something like this...

Trade:  Umm, hey shawty can i get your number?

Cunt:  I mean yeah, you are kinda sexy in your all black and shit.  Put my number in your phone.

Trade:  Oh yeah, right (scratching his head)...  Um, my phone just got cut off yesterday.  Imma get that shit turned back on tomorrow though.  Write your number on this piece of paper.

Cunt:  That's cool, ok.  Where you stay at?  

Trade:  I'm about to get my own place in a few months, but right now I'm staying wit my Grandmova'.

Cunt:  Oh ok, cool.  Where you work at?

Trade:  Ummm yeah, see I just lost my job last week (scratching his head again).  This dude my cousin know though told me he 'bout to put me on...

Cunt:  Oh ok, cool.

Trade: I feel like we soul mates and shit.  Can I move in wit you?

Cunt:  Hell mother fucking yeah nigga, we 'bout to get our Bonnie and Clyde thing on.

QUINCY:  Happy Monday!


Dusty Boot said...

ROFLOL you crack me up with ur crazy ass.

Madonna collecting children... a mess.

Damn. 7 places in one night. lol.

Son of Baldwin said...

Why does Christon Pender look like the ghost of Gene Anthony Ray?

Sapphire Blu said...

LMAO!!! i've been waiting all day for this! madonna just makes you want to say: look at what angelina jolie started!!!

abena is going to kick your @$$ if those pics get posted.

Anonymous said...

Son of Baldwin, I have always said that about Chris.

Q, How small of you.


Troy N. said...

not bonnie and clyde!! And Mr. Pender looks very familiar, but I won't go there..DC sure is a small small world.

Jamar Herrod said...

Lmao. U r a hot mess. You know those two werent saying that. Talking about can I move in with you? Hell yeah nigga! Lmao. Sounds like you go bar hopping. When I'm out I stick to one place. I can't deal with moving around unless it is that bad where I am.

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