Sunday, July 12, 2009

Weekend Wrap-Up, Ed Hard-On, Sneak Peek, and Why Isn't Your Name On The List?

I'm hoping everyone had a spectacular weekend, mine was quiet for a change. I was meaning to attend some of the events for DC Hip Hop Theatre week, but I kept having sex with BF #1. I mean allllllllll week. I didn't catch one event. There's always next year. Anyways, work was dreadful as usual on Saturday. I had made plans to attend one of my co-workers art parties. I was excited to go, and had no plans (BF #1 was hanging with "the boys" for the weekend). Even though I was absolutely exhausted for some reason on Saturday night I still peeled myself out of bed and managed to piece together a sort of "gay Indian boy" (feather, not red dot) look. I even wore a Stella McCartney shrug, and ankle moccasins and things. Somehow plans went south, and so did my mojo to go out. I made it 5 blocks and turned around and went home. Oh, not before I went to 7-eleven and slayed the snack aisle.
Yesterday, work was pretty painless and went by fairly quick. Thank God my sister Yaneek was working. We kept each other company all day. Throughout my day, at least three people commented on how disturbing then new Bruno movie was. That's enough bait for me to see it! I rushed to the theatre after work in hopes of catching the 7 pm show, but the bitch was sold out. I bought my ticket for 8pm, and went to grab a drink at the bar in Clyde's. I needed a date with myself, I haven't had chance to do that lately. I headed back to the theatre to claim my seat. I ended up sitting in the handicapped seats in the middle. It was either that, or sit next to a fat sweaty man, and his wife who was wearing a Chicoesque outfit. Handicapped seats it was!
The movie had hardly starting, and I was offended! I loved every minute. It was great how he poked fun at Americans, and how ridiculous we can be at times (ok, all the time). I will definitely see it a second time. I missed a lot of the jokes due to extended laughter. Oh my God, I have a grey hair on my hand? I just saw it while I was typing. That is so gross! Hold on. Oh my God, I'm back. I had to get rid of that fucker! I don't believe in that "3 more come to it's funeral bullshit". Damn, I'm almost 40 minus 9. When did that happen?
Anyways, Bruno was funny ass hell! If you need a laugh, and are not easily grossed out or offended, go see it.
(Deep exhale)

I was doing a bit of food shopping at Whole Foods the other day, and came across this! Ed Hardy wine? I had no clue, did you guys? If you drink it, will you instantly become really garish and tacky. Or perhaps maybe become covered in crystals? I'm sure it taste like a hairy sweaty euro trash man. We will see, because I bought a bottle. I haven't had the courage to actually open it. I feel like it's gonna be like Pandora's box. I may get more than I bargained for.

Ok, can everyone just shut up about MY president glancing at this girl's but? He is a man, they are supposed to look at women's butts and scratch their balls and things!
God I do love him, but President Clinton got his dick sucked in the Oval Office, and Obama can't glance at a butt? May we please not forget that Obama is a black man, he don't give a FUCK! I just wanted the next frame of pictures to be Obama extending his hands out waist high to the sides, looking straight at the camera with a "what" look on his face. That should learn 'em Obama!

I know that we are on to Cruise and Spring Summer, but let's stop and partake in all of the Fall Christian Louboutin glory. I swear this man is planning to take over the world! All of these are pre-orders, and your name should be on some type of list if you ever think about getting your size.

Who but a nasty gay faggy designs a boot like this?

...and this

...and these

How could one EVER lose wearing these? If I were the cunt, I would wear these while I urinated in public. I would burn down schools and things, and blame it on the bad ass shoes!

There's even a shoe for the dikes!



Mike said...

You bring me joy. Please link your blog updates to twitter. Thanks!

Guest said...

Troy, they are only $995.

Mike, thank you so much! How do you do that? You'll have to walk me through it!