Gone Too Soon, Get 'em Before They're Gone, and You Go Guuuurllll!

What an extremely emotional day Tuesday was? Millions of people watched as The King of Pop's memorial services unfolded before their eyes. In my opinion it was a true class act. I wouldn't have changed a single thing besides Al Sharpton speaking and this...

Chile, I was waiting for Michael Jackson to open that casket, get out, finish the song for her, get back into the casket, close it, and pay her! She sounded so baaaaaad, kinda like Nick Cannon strangled her and poured a tonic of bleach and ammonia down her throat before she went on. Also, can she stop it with the hands? It looks like she reading braille or something? I'm so over it. What ever happened to that girl in the denim shorts that I used to love. Can I have her back please? I said you'll always be my baby! I said, I said Vision of Love! Mariah Get it together! It seems that she made a formal apology on her Twitter page yesterday saying that she didn't have time to "pull it together". Pull it together? She recorded that song years ago? What did she have to pull together? Stevie couldn't see having to "pull together" a performance. I'm sure he didn't even go to practice. Ummm, umm, ummm...

Thank God other performers were there to save the memorial. Usher's performance of 'Gone Too Soon' had me thinking of things I shouldn't be thinking of during a memorial. I said US-HER RA-YM-OND. I said 'You Don't Have To Call'.

Did anyone get into Latoya fucking everybody up with the brim of that beat hat she had on? The girls couldn't see not wearing full Versace looks. Michael would have wanted it that way. I've already told you all that at my funeral ALL women MUST wear a Louboutin, or you're not getting in! Also, I want a full fashion show with key standout looks from each year of my life starting with '78. Fire-eaters, trapeze walkers, a petting zoo, and a bearded lady also needs to be worked into the program somehow as well. I'm not kidding! I swear if my wishes are not met, my ghost will haunt the shit out of you. If you think I'm a bitch now, get into my ghost!

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Stubbs and Wooten: I want them all...

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Well, the infamous Diane Sawyer interview with Whitney Houston took place 7 years ago. Did it seem like that long when Whitney gave us some amazing tag phrases like, "Crack is Wack", and "I'm my own devil". Thank God Whitney has been delivered from whatever she was going through (Bobby), and hopefully she's on the right path now. But before we look into the future, we must reference the past. I'm sure you have all heard this classic phone interview with Wendy Williams where Whitney reads DOWN! She is so beat! I live...