Ok, so it's 8:43 a.m. and I just rolled over and grabbed my laptop. There was also a half glass of wine on my bed side table from last night, and the fuck if I just didn't take that shit to the head. Shut up, only God can judge me! Kim from 'Housewives of ATL' would approve of my early morning wine drinking. In her number one chart topping hit (blank stare) 'Tardy For The Party', she says, "I'll be feeling good by 9, after my third glass of wine". She didn't specify a.m. or p.m. so fuck off.
So last night I was looking through some pictures from my brother Kenny's birthday and thought I'd share them with you guys. Before you review the pictures, please note that all involved have serious mental conditions, and should be admitted to the nearest mental institution IMMEDIATELY...
Simon says "smize" (smile with your eyes), Simon says...hell Simon should always says "smize"!
I said no photographs!
Hmmm, Gucci eh?
The wicked witches of NW DC...
more pics of that deranged photo shoot to come...
So it seems that Mr. Larry "fine as shit, let me swim in your dimples mocha delight over bodied football trade you gon think i invented sex" Johnson has been suspended for using the word "fag". Apparently, the other day reporters entered the locker room (lucky them), and Johnson told them to "get your faggot asses outta here!". Shortly after he used the term fag on twitter, and referred to a fan as a "Christopher Street boy". That is over, I live. I'm gonna start calling everyone gay a "Christopher Street Boy". I'm also turning the word fag into an acronym. It's now short for "fun and glamorous" (hitting gavel on desk).
So now being called a "fag" has absolutely nothing to do with your sexuality. Anyone can be a F.A.G. Try it out at work, church, or school and let me know how things work out.
(standing by the water cooler at work) Hey Bill, great shirt. What color is that, salmon? Wow, what a F.A.G. you are! (walking away back to desk)
Wow, I don't think I'd be mad if Larry Johnson called me a fag. I'd just be happy that he looked at me. NO HOMO...
So last night the B.E.T. Hip Hop Awards aired (crickets). Hello, did you guys hear me? I said (screaming) last night the B.E.T. Hip Hop Awards aired (louder crickets). Oh?
Trina was there, she looked great. Glad to see she's not wearing crotchless pants on the red carpet anymore. Is that She by Sheree?
Nikki Minaj a.k.a. Nikki Lewinsky a.k.a. Harajuku Barbie a.k.a Camel Toe (I just added camel toe, that's not really one of her names) was also there. I love her! I can't wait until her cd drops. Anyone who says in their lyrics that "I think it's time to put this pussy on your side burns" has my vote for everything! NIKKI MINAJ 2012!
If there wasn't already enough niggerdom to go around, Frankie Cole was there. She needs no commentary.
Did anyone see Soulja Boy last night? He looked like Liberace and Flava Flav's gay love child. I mean, how much jewelry can one person put on? So garish, but I think I get life!
Be sure to keep you television locked on B.E.T. for more quality programming (doors slamming and cars speeding away) Oh, but?
You fuckers know what time it is, It's Dynasty Wednesday! Get into this clip of Alexis and Krystle getting crunk in the lily pond. Talk about Fun and Glamorous! My mission today is to first find a lily pond, and then find a cunt to throw in and battle with.
Notice how Alexis always started the fights, but Krystle seemed to always whip that ass! Get into the dialog! "You miserable bitch!"