Monday, November 02, 2009

And My Weekend Went A Lil Something Like This..., Caught by Q, and Damn Stephan...

Good day folks, this is the "new and improved" edition of the old 'Weekend Wrap-Up'. As you guys read last week, I had to change the name because i've seen too many mother fuckers using the shit--after me. (in Kandi from RHOA voice) I fly above all the haters! I'm gonna start nick naming mother fuckers "Ink jet", cause they be copying mane!

Anyways, I'm hoping everyone had a horrible and fucked up weekend (kidding). Mine was pretty chill compared to last weekend. No, I didn't party with Christian Louboutin, but it was still aiiight. I went to see 'This is It' ons Thursday, and it was pretty good. Basically, it's a concert movie. Thousands of hours of rehearsal footage were condensed to make the final project. I would pay another $10 to see Michael wearing those Balmain I think that he is truly a legend, and obviously so did this loud ass queen that was sitting in front of me. Every 5 minutes this flamer yelled out "Yes baby", or "Work Michael". I was so embarrassed, but felt better after taking a couple of hits from the flask filled with "spirits" that I snuck in.

Saturday was Halloween, and I had to work. It was a pretty chill day, and I didn't feel the need to repeatedly slam my head in a door. After work, I was all set to go and lock myself in my apartment until the Halloween madness was over, but Joey and I decided to revisit the scene of last weeks crime...

Nothing say Halloween like so good 'ol gay debauchery. So Secrets it was. It was packed. The drinks were amazing, and this week I got a chance to really study this nice young man's booty poppin' techniques. Granted the fact he has waaay more cakes than me, I think I may wanna battle him?

Sike! My old ass would break a hip or something. 31 is not the age for booty popping. After a couple hours of gay 'Magic City', we bounced. I missed my boyfriend. I couldn't wait to get home to chat with him before I went to bed. Hi J!

While I was in kissing my boyfriend through the phone, CoCo T was doing this...

You know we love Coco T here at Mrs. T achieves a level of "stankdom" that not too many women can. She definitely hit the nail on the head with this costume, she sure as hell is a fish! But can someone please tell me how I can STILL see a camel toe, but she's not wearing pants? Her camel toe slays ALL, and should inducted to some "Camel Toe Hall Of Fame". Let me google that...

Yesterday, I worked. It felt like the longest day of my whole damn life, because it got dark at 5:00. By 10 pm, I was ready to put on a snuggie and drink a warm glass of milk. I fell asleep pretty early, and woke up to these butt fuckers outside my window doing hella construction. There is no rest for the weary...


Caught by Q

I was on the train on my way to work and caught this trade knocked the fuck out. I got on at Metro center, and he was still sleeping when I got off at West Falls Church which is 9 stops later. He was probably wasted from the Halloween festivities from the night before. Would I have been wrong to jack him for his fresh ass timbs? Nice crotch though?

I caught this cunt beating the shit out of her face at the bus stop. Here we see her applying mascara, but she didn't stop there, she dusted her mug down! The though is that she looked beater before she put that dry ass make up on. I got life from watching her though. She had no clue she was entertaining me.

Scratch and Sniff? Where the hell was Frankie Cole with all of this crack around? I was picking up a couple of things from my grocery store when this nasty sloppy fat tired queen had the nerve to be leaning over the cakes. Cakes that I perhaps would have cruised and purchased, but not anymore. I've suddenly lost my appetite.
The only reason I called him a "sloppy fat tired queen" is because he is ALWAYS so rude to me. The first time I spoke to him (I mean her), she paid me dust (she didn't speak back). Ever since then, I ice grill that bakery queen. I hear her talking to her co-workers, and her voice is higher than any note Mariah Carey could ever hit!
She's only mad because I come grocery shopping in fur. She never makes eye contact with me, but always tries to catch a sneak of my fashions through the frozen foods glass doors. Don't be mad because I'm a 26 inch waist, and cute in the face. I think I shall walk on her today. What should I wear?


Open Letter:

November 2, 2009

Dear Mr. Marbury,

Don't worry, this one will be short. I'm not quite sure what your tea is, but you may wanna get it together. It's not a good look to keep showing up at the Knick's games. Even if you do go, make sure you sit in your assigned seat. Please don't make the usher have to escort you to a different seat. It's embarrassing for me, and it sure as shit should be embarrassing for you. The Knick's bought you out for heaven's sake, why do you keep stalking them?

Listen, I know we all go through shit, and at times we may get a little cooky. You're cooky time is up. You've had too many episodes, and I'm not even going there with the whole crying thing. If you need some help, let me know. I'm always here to help.

P.S. I have girlfriends who have fucked you, and they say that your penis is huge.


Quincy Jones

Happy Monday


Joey Bahamas said... rest for the wicked.


deontek said...

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Boy I die laughing at you lol.