Monday, February 22, 2010

And My Weekend Went A Lil' Somethin' Like This..., Tribute: Vanessa Del Rio, Keep Up With The Jones', and 'MTV Cribs' The Slut Edition...

Happy Monday guys! I'm just emerging from a hibernation-esque state. When I got home on Saturday night, I wanted to get a good night's rest so I took a sleeping pill (and was chased it with a cup of Nyquil). This seemed like a good idea at the time, but I totally wasn't thinking about how lethargic I would feel the next day, and tht my ass had to work the next day! The only thing I do remember from yesterday is...(thinking)...is? Anyways, by the grace of God I made it to work and back home. I just have visions of me walking through traffic and drooling all over myself.
I will go on record to say that yesterday was the most tired that I've ever been in public. I really didn't think I was gonna make it. At one point at work, I went to the bathroom and propped my head against the stall standing up for a 5 minute nap. Don't judge me!

(in Jay-Z voice) Your boy is back!

On Wednesday "The Crew" decided to go out for some fun and cocktails. We met at my house for pre game libations (thanks Ky'Leigh) and outfit changes. Stop number 1 was karaoke night at Little Miss Whiskies on H St. in NE. It was a little dead in there, but I make my own fun. Especially when there are costumes and frozen vodka slushy drink things. Somehow I ended up in a poodle skirt as a back up dancer for Dionne while she belted out the lyrics to 'Milkshake' by Kelis . There is video of that somewhere I believe? I hope it doesn't leak.

Stop number 2 was Recess. We went to see one of our favorite DJ's, "Dirty Hands" spin. The music was amazing, the cocktails were flowing, and the company was great.

Stop number 3 was our late night guilty pleasure Manny and Olga's. They have the best late night pizza in the city.


Here you can see Billy fucking that shit up! I have yet to try the pizza in the daytime, so I'm on the fence about whether it's "really" good or not? Everything is good at 4 in the morning when you're tipsy...

There's B Heezy cheesin' it up, and Ky'Leigh giving something the "stank" look. I'm sure she doesn't even remember.

On Thursday I popped up bright and early, I had an appointment for a chemical peel. My derm was doing a special on them, so I had to hop to it. Big ups Dr. Brooks and Georgetown Skin!

After a couple of errands, I headed back home to get ready for my BYT (Brightest Young Things) boat ride party on The Odyssey.

There's the boat. The magic of photography makes it look a lot better than it actually looks, you know like the lighting they use on the 'Oprah Winfrey Show'?

The party was a blast. They served snow cones spike with alcohol, hors’dourves, and...


corndogs. I hate corndogs, but I don't know why I felt the need to keep staring at them? (shakes head to snap out of it)


I took this picture right before I left the bathroom and said, "make sure you shake it!" I'm not even kidding, I did. Then I went back to stare at the corndogs.

video

Get into this guy in the video. I love his red union suit pajama thing. He was gettin' down! I'm not mad at him. He was having fun. The music was great.


This couple was trying to have an intimate moment by the bathroom, but I couldn't see not interrupting them! I just kinda stood there at an uncomfortable distance and looked their way until they left. I couldn't see them making out, I was on cock block mode because my boo wasn't there. If I wasn't making out, NO ONE was making out! Got it?

On Friday morning when I woke up, I had already started to shed from my chemical peel. I felt like an amphibian. I was burnt in a couple of places, and contemplated calling out of work but I said "fuck it". It's no different from the many plastic surgery scars I see coming through my place of business on a daily basis.

Before I knew it, the day was over. My sweet J picked me up from work and we headed home. On Saturday work was tolerable. I left a tad early to rush home to get ready for the Ready Set Dc Art party.



Here are a couple of pieces from the show. There was some amazing pieces displayed.

Something for you Hello Kitty/DC fans...

After the party, it was off to Lauriol Plaza for dinner with my "Real Housecunts of DC' cast members.

There were many jokes. We sat next to a table with these 3 girls. One of them had on one of the ugliest tops that were ever made by man. It was leopard print polyester off the shoulder with button detailing down the sleeves. Then she had the extreme nerve to put an army green tank underneath. It's not rocket science people. Keep it simple when in doubt. Uggggghhhhh! Her top was disrespectful and offensive! To avoid gouging my eyes out, we left.

And you guys know the rest. Around this time is when the infamous pill popping incident occurred. I don't remember yesterday at all. (squinting and looking up at sky, still trying to remember)

Until next weekend bottom feeders!

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I just wanted to take a blog time out to show some love and respect to an amazing woman in history. No, not Rosa Parks, Amelia Earheart, or Richard Simmons, It's Vanessa Del Rio. Ms. Del Rio appeared in her first adult film in 1974. Throughout her 25 year career, Vanessa performed in over 100 groundbreaking films.

I must admit that some of her remarkable "techniques" have made me the person I am today (wink). Your video 'Come With Me My Love' not only inspired me, but also when used as a "learning tool" helped me pay my car note for a year.



So today I say thank you Vanessa Del Rio. You are a living legend. You have influenced me in ways that you wouldn't believe. Oh, and I loved you in the 'Get Money' video.

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Before there was Lady Gaga, there was Grace Jones. Who was more avant garde than that bitch? She would show up to award show with a thong, and a Phillip Treacy hat on.

Her hay day was back in the late 70's and early 80's. I bet she was at Studio 54 snorting up cocaine like a hand held vacuum.

What a beauty she was. Look at her body back then, so toned. Her skin was the most gorgeous hue of chocolate.

(record scratches)


O.K., the bitch is in her 60's now. This picture was taken last week in Venice. Who told Grace that I wanted to see her 61 year old dried up black ass nipple? If she don't put on a St. John suit and a strand of pearls? Her avant garde couture ground breaking fashion days are over. It's time for her to grab a Birkin and slip into some Akris Punto!
Grace, lemme holla at you for a minute, leave that shit to Lady Gaga and Rihanna. You are a fellow Jones, so I know you're fierce (I hate that word, but what else was I gonna use), but it's time to put your breast in and act your age.
What a damn shame!
Grace, I will erase this whole posting under one condition. That condition being if you act out scenes from 'Boomerang' when you played the supermodel Helen Strangé for me. (waiting...)

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This is old news by now, but sometimes I have to let things simmer before I post them. "Model", Carmen Ortega released a video of her touring Reggie Bush's house apparently after they had a threesome together with the chick who was videotaping. This video was taped recently, and Carmen has gone on record to say that they "dated" while Reggie dated Kim.
I don't know what you guys think about this, but I'm just gonna let you guys fill in the blanks.

Carmen Ortega you ___ ___. How the ___ are you gonna video tape yourself in someone else's ____ house? Do you pay rent there? Is it yours? You are a ____. Reggie ____ you, and used you for one night. Kim is his main chick, you are a _____. If anything you made yourself look like a _____. Running around in his house lookin' like a ____ ____ Kim Kardashian. It's ____ like you who give good prostitutes a bad name.
I'm not even saying that messing with Reggie while he dated Kim was wrong, I'm saying know your place as a _____, and _____s faces shouldn't see the light of day. What are you walking around in this ____'s house for, get your money and roll out! Ok, I'm done.


Nice body though...

Check out her fake ass 'MTV Cribs Jump off Edition' video here.

3 comments:

オテモヤン said...

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sapphire blu said...

LMAO!!! you are a mess which makes me love ya more ;o) thanks for the tip on vanessa del rio's video. *exits work*

Anonymous said...

Thanks love!  Muah...