All me and my friends wanted to do last night was catch a couple of drinks for happy hour. I never signed up for all of this. I wasn't prepared for a nova check vest with a matching tie. I know his Black ass ain't Irish, so why the ghetto plaids? Was he trying to ruin my night? Actually, I believe he was aiming to ruin my life. If the plaid vest wasn't enough to make me lose my dinner, he was wearing dress "slacks" that looked like they were straight from The Men's Wearhouse! Of course we all know the shoe was bad too--a square toed atrocity of course!
Hey buddy, next time leave the golf vest at home you fake ass Tiger Woods. I'm sorry, I don't wanna do it, but I'm gonna have too...FUCK YOU! Fuck you for ghetto get up. Fuck you for your bad pleated dress pants. Fuck you for ruining my night! Fuck you...
(deep breath) Alright, I'm done now...
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You all know how everyone wants the perfect butt these days? For some women, it's their money maker. Why should you work when you have a fat ass? The right backside can mesmerize a man. Next thing you know you're not working the drive thru window at Dairy Queen anymore, you've been upgraded. You can't even pronounce "Givenchy", but you're wearing it.
This is why women are going through such lengths for the perfect butt. It seems that women in New Jersey were going to a witch doctor to be injected with bathroom caulk in their bums. Who could ever think this was a good idea? I guess when you're desperate, you'll do anything! Check out the video here... What a damn shame!
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(drumroll) So yesterday marked the premier of the Gaga "Telephone" video ft. Beyonce. The video is amazing. The imagery is sick, and the fashions take my breath away! I love Beyonce, but in my opinion, she got lost in the video. Lady Gaga in all of her "avant gardeness", overshadowed Beyonce. B always tries to play it safe. This was her time to break free. You're in video with Lady Gaga for goodness sake. If I were her, I'd be in a Swarovski crystal encrusted cropped denim jacket with a no top and bandaids as pasties, crotchless booty shorts, thigh high boots, and a real boa constrictor wrapped around my head like a turban! Thank God Gaga gave me what I needed. Oh, and one more thing before I let you go. Tyrese as the lead man in the video? The last thing that Tyrese did that I liked was the Coca Cola video when he was on the bus, and that was 1994. I won't question Gaga's decision to use him though. WWGGD? (What would Gaga do?)
Enjoy all 9 minutes of the video...
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