Tuesday, March 09, 2010

R.I.P, F-A-T, Notorious B.I.G., G-A-Y, and It's 'Martin' Wednesdays...

The last collection of genius Lee Alexander McQueen was shown yesterday in Paris. It was a small show of 16 pieces. His inspiration for the collection ranged from Byzantine art to carvings by Grinling Gibbons (Gibbons has been said to be England's finest wood carver).
Each piece of clothing was unique and beautiful. As I viewed the collection online, I yearned to feel and smell the fabrics (I'm a real lover of luxury goods). It's not just fashion, it's an experience. Each piece of clothing takes months of work. When one buys a piece from a designer like McQueen, you're not just buying a piece of clothing. You're buying a concept, an idea, a vision. How special would it be to own a piece of McQueen's last vision?

Simply breathtaking! And just like that, I'm inspired all over again. McQueen was a genius, and will truly be missed...


(wipes away tears and blows nose) Alright enough of that sappy stuff. Has anyone heard the footage of Howard Stern going off about Gabourey Sidibe (the lead in 'Precious'), and how she will never work in Hollywood again. Stern went on to criticize Sidibe about her weight, and even said that if she didn't lose weight she was going to "die soon".
We all know that Howard tries it! His words are callous, but I think I'm buying what he's selling.
Are we seriously going to see Gabourey Sidibe in another lead role besides 'Precious Part Deux'? She's an overweight African American actress who is forever typecast. What role will she play next? An American sweetheart role? How about a power attorney in a suspense thiller? What about a shady police officer? Maybe the lead singer of rock band, just trying to find her place in life? Get the fuck outta here! All she will ever be is 'Precious'. Yes Howard is an asshole for coming off so harsh, but don't ignore the pink elephant in the room.

Look at Oprah. The look on her face says it all, "Damn, I didn't know this bitch was THAT big?"

She did a great job in the movie. No one else could have scarfed down that big ass plate of pig's feet and greens besides her. Good luck Gabourey, hopefully we see you at the Oscars next year. We won't even see Monique's hairy legged ass next year at the Oscars. Somehow the accountants at Pricewaterhouse Coopers miscounted the ballots on that one, or maybe it was a joke?
Accountant at firm: "Hey guys, wouldn't be hilarious if we did a switch-a-roo on the ballots, and have Monique win for Best Supporting Actress?" (big belly laugh)

Someone knows the real truth!

Check out the audio clip here...


Speaking of people who conjure Biggie Smalls...(side eye)

So yesterday was the 13th Anniversary of Biggie Small's death. Of course I had to celebrate in pure Notorious B.I.G. style. I attended a party complete with Christoper Wallace inspired art and of course they bumped Biggie music all night. Check out a couple of the art pieces displayed last night. The event was held here in D.C. at the Cre8 gallery on 9th st. Check out some of the pieces...

"I got a bitch that suck my dick til I nut
Spit it on my gut and slurp that shit back up
Ain't that a slut (HELL YEA) she even take it in the butt
Fuck for bout a hour, now she want a golden shower
You didn't know that we be pissin on hoes, bitch (BEOTCH)
Luke and Biggie straight shittin on hoes, bitch (BEOTCH)
Lick your toes, bitch? (BEOTCH) Fuck no, you must be crazy
Squirt in your face and then I'm Swayze (bitch)
Recognize G, straight up, I can't knock ya
After Big Poppa, fuck ALL of Junior M.A.F.I.A.
The whole clique, dick sucked, ass licked
Leave your number by the phone, bring yo' ass on home
I roam in Lexuses and Benzes, the fly way
With the flyest bitch gettin head on the highway (ridin)
My way deep throat on Luke's boat
When the moon rises, I'm cumin in her eyes-es (do it)
Just the way players play
Leave it up to me, I get fucked all day (yeah)
Sucked all day, smokin blunts, countin cheese
Fucking bitches til they assholes bleed
What you say ba-by..."

Baby, bay-bay!

What a happy day for carpet munchers and cock jockeys here in D.C. yesterday. Gays are now legally allowed to get married, and yesterday some of the first ceremonies were performed.

I'm guessing they're not happy over at godhatesfags.com? They'll get over it. Congrats to the bull dykes and penis pirates who married yesterday! (wink)


'Dynasty' Wednesday ended last week, only to make way for another one of my favorite shows of all time. Let's move from the 80's into the 90's. (singing) Maaaarrrtiiinnnnn! Martiiiiinnnn!
I'm a hard person to make laugh, and Martin Lawrence always seems to make me bust a gut. Catch this week's clip here, it was part of an episode starring Notorious B.I.G. Enjoy fuckers...

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1 comment:

jojo Jones said...

You are FUCKING hilarious! You make my day! Really!