Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Go Green!, Sober House, Dear..., and It's 'Martin Wednesday...

Happy St. Patrick's Day guys! I really don't know what the fuck St. Patrick's Day is all about, but I do know that later on I'll see lots of drunk college students puking in Georgetown. I'm sure they don't know what it's about either, it's just an excuse to get sloshed, and drink cheap beer. Shit, I ain't Irish! Hell, I don't ever think I've used Irish Springs soap! Anyways, if you go out to celebrate, watch out for the puke puddles!


So last night I saw 'Sober House' for the first time. The show is aired on VH-1, and is supposed to be a continuation of the show 'Celebrity Rehab'. The "Hollywood Madame" Heidi Fleiss is on the show.

I mean, this chick was NEVER cute, but damn! She looks like hell. At any given time on the show, she looks as if she just finished sucking 3o dicks dipped in Herpes sauce sprinkled with some Hepatitis Z!
Addiction is a serious thing man. Thank God I don't have an addictive personality (only with shoes, and sunglasses). That shit would really take you under. I've sit and wondered what life would be like as a junkie though.

(begin dream sequence)

Being up ALL night in pursuit of the next hit wearing rock star clothing, and really cool rings on every finger. I'd have long greasy hair, and I'd always have a flask filled with Absinthe in my pocket. I'd hang out with Lindsay Lohan, and we'd go to Tao in New York for dinner. We'd ask for a private room of course, so that we could do a little "skiing" between courses. After dinner it's time for partying, not in N.Y., but in L.A. We'd take the red eye, and in no time I'm waking up on Sunset Blvd. with a gash to my forehead and no Lindsay in site!

(end dream sequence)

It sounds good on paper...

Also, on the show is Bebe Zahar Benet (from the first Season of RuPaul's Drag Race), I mean Dennis Rodman.

I had no clue Dennis Rodman did drugs? (blank stare) Where is Nancy Reagan when you need her?


Wednesday March 17, 2010

Dear "urban" woman taking orders at Popeye's in Logan Circle,

I didn't have the greatest day at work yesterday, and really didn't appreciate you "huffing and puffing" at me taking a WHOLE 45 seconds to make up my mind to order. You sure as hell didn't have anything else to do, I was the only one in line. I apologize if I interrupted your in depth conversation with your co-worker. If I overheard correctly, it was something about your girlfriend Nataya doing your braids on Friday? I could give a good fuck about your ghetto girlfriend Nataya, your nappy ass braids, and your "Lee Press-On Nails"! Next time I come in, your better take my fucking order without an attitude or else. All I wanted was some really unhealthy chicken deep fried in fats that are harmful to my arteries, and you ruined my experience!

I can perhaps understand why you have an attitude? I'm sure your baby's father is in prison or something, but please don't project your anger on to me. There are always conjugal visits.

Thanks in advance for your cooperation with this matter.

P.S. You have an overbite.


Quincy Jones


One of my favorite characters on 'Martin' is Ms. Geri. She somehow always brings Martin together. She couldn't see him bullying her around, and as you'll see in the clip she's whooped his ass a couple of times. Check out the clip, and enjoy...

1 comment:

Q, Truly said...

honey, ms. geri RAN martin's ass

but nobody got them hoes together like key-lolo