Monday, April 26, 2010

And My Weekend Went A Lil' Somethin' Like This..., Make It Rain, Monday Morning Wake Up, Porn at Work?, and Cheaters

"Awww Hell Naw Douche" Commercial Take 1:

Me: (sitting on bed writing in diary, hears knock at door) Come in.

Friend: (opens door slowly) Hey, you alright in here? We were all just about to go to the skating rink, and were wondering if you wanted to come? (walks over to me, and sits down on bed)

Me: (puts diary down, and lays down on pillow) Thanks, but I'm not in the mood for skating. I'd just rather sit here, and write in my diary.

Friend: I think I know what's wrong here, I've totally been there before (tucks tendril of hair behind my ear).

Me: What could it be? I've just been feeling so "blah" lately.

Friend: (pulls box from her purse) Aww, hell naw, try this.

Me: (sits up and reads box) 'Aww Hell Naw' Douche?

Friend: Yes, that's what I use when I'm not (whispers) feeling so fresh.

Me: I guess I'll try it? At this point it could only help...(shrugs)

(cut to friends giggling at skating rink)

Announcer: 'Aww Hell Naw Douche' now available in travel sizes.

Don't you wish life was life a commercial? It seems like problems are solved so easily. I've been feeling like I've been stuck in a bad douche commercial ALL weekend long, and I can't find my way out. I just haven't been feeling "so fresh". I've been feeling so "blah" and anti-social. Me anti-social? I didn't do anything all weekend besides work (which I hate), eat, and sleep. Hopefully my emergency trip to the shrink helped this morning? We'll see?
I put a big 'ol "X" mark through everything in my social calendar this weekend. At least I got out last week to a couple of events.

The first being an art exhibit at Cre8 Gallery here in DC. The exhibit was held on 4-20, and was called "Addiction".

This was a mock table of blow right at the door when attendees walked in. It reminds me of my days in New York. The memories...

The photography was raw and somewhat disturbing, but very interesting.

That's some shit dude! I'm glad I'm only addicted to sunglasses and shoes.

On Thursday I traveled back to my Alma Matter Marymount University where the annual "Portfolio in Motion" was held. "Portfolio in Motion" is a fashion show where students in the fashion program can showcase their work. I coordinated the show while attending M.U. In the 21 year history of the fashion show, I was the only student to be Head Coordinator twice. The liked my swag (shrugs). Of course bitches were hating, but ask me if I cared.

This year the Designer of the Year Award went to Isabel Toledo. I briefly met her and her husband and they're amazing. Thanks Isabel for making our First Lady look gorgeous at the Inauguration!

The original sketch, and a fabric swatch of the Inauguration dress were on hand for us to view at the reception! So exciting!

Congrats to all models and coordinators of the show. I know first hand how hard you guys worked!

Now back to your regularly scheduled douche commercial...


You heard it here first! Soon you'll hear rappers rapping about the new $100 bills!

Last week the Treasury unveiled a new 3-D $100 bill. No you don't need the Avatar glasses to see it. The money will have a 3-D strip that's actually woven through the bill. The 3-D strip features tiny Liberty Bells that morph into the number 100 when the bill is tilted. It's obviously an attempt to frustrate global counterfeiters, but it sounds pretty cool.

The new money will premiere in February of 2011 here...


Mondays can be the pits! I know it's a little dreary outside today, but here is a little wake up call sponsored by our friends over at This is strictly for my Ladies! Oh, and the gays. Straight guys cover your eyes, or you might wanna look if you're into that sorta thing?

Thanks Troy!


It seems that some of the employees over at the SEC, the countries top financial watchdogs, weren't watching what they were supposed to be watching. It has been reported that 17 senior staffers earning between $100,000-$250,000 were not only watching, but downloading porn to government computers.
One particular horny Senior Attorney at the SEC ran out of space on his hard drive because of downloading too many pornographic images. His horny ass then burned porn to discs using the work computer.
Most of the workers got slaps on the hands (which they probably enjoyed), while some agreed to resign.
So while the whole financial structure in America was going down, they were watching porn? Was anyone even thinking? Lord knows what they were doing alone in those closed door offices by themselves. I'm sure if someone looked, there would be more than gum stuck under their desks!

You've been a very very bad boy!


I told you guys about my obsession with 'Cheaters' last week. I hope you enjoyed the last clip. Today get into this pimp who doesn't give a fuck that he was just caught with a ho. He tells his wife that "he trained her better than this". After he curses the wife out, he throws a drink on her and flees! I got life, and so will you. Get in...

No comments: