Thursday, April 15, 2010

"I'm the King Bitch!", Caught by Q, and It's "Housecunt" Thursday!


Un...deux...trois...quatre...cinq...six...sept! Yep, you got it. Larry King has now filed for divorce from his 7th wife. His wife Shawn claims that the 76 year old skirt chaser was smashing her sister during a five year affair. Apparently, Shawn checked King's credit card statements, and there was an extremely expensive piece of jewelry from Cartier on there that lil miss Shawn never received. It is also alleged that King spent a million dollars on Shawn's sister, and bought her a $160,000 car.

The couple has been married since 1997, and has two sons together. I'm sure Shawn never wanted his old wrinkly balls anyway. She did what she needed to do to secure her own "estate". You pop out a couple of kids--badda bing badda bang--You're an instant multi millionaire. Besides, anyone that could put up with Larry King poppin' Viagra every night, and hoping on top of them deserves the WORLD! So gross, but I would definitely take one for the team and do it if need be. Go team Shawn!


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Caught By Q


I was walking home yesterday, and spotted "La SituaciĆ³n". It's The Situation's Latino cousin from DC. His overly embellished t-shirt looked like a fairy puked glitter and sequins all over it, and his jeans weren't much better. Also, I was walking about 7 feet behind him when I took this picture, and I could still smell the stench of the bargain basement cologne that he bathed in. If you look closely in the picture, I swear he's pumping his left fist while still balancing those sodas on his shoulder. Hmmm....

(insert bad house music here...)


video

So the other day I was on the train, and took a video of this girl. She was all dressed for a night out on "on the town" with her girlfriends. Looks like 'ol fire crotch is trying to get some action tonight, she broke out the low cut "going out top". She looks like she wants to get wasted and make out with a boy.
Oh, and stop chewing your gum like that! Oh, and one more thing, get your jeans hemmed (with original hems please), who rolls their jeans up like that? Ok, I'm done...

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"Housecunt" Thursday

Yep, it's that time again! It's Housecunt Thursday, and this time Jonathan is up. Wait 'til you see what he wrote. Take it away Jonathan. Jonathan? (looking all around) Oh, just give him one second, I'm sure he'll be here soon (tapping foot, and looking at watch). Jonathan? (picks up cell phone and calls--goes to voicemail) I'm sure this is just a misunderstanding. He's busy.

(pans to Jonathan's house)


Well, good thing Ms. Erica has something to say. You guys all know and love her by now. Take it away Erica...



HEY EVERYONE, IT'S ERIKA A.K.A MRS. TAYLOR LAUTNER, A.K.A "CAMEL TOE", A.K.A TINA KNOWLES, AND I'VE EXPERIENCED SOME BACKLASH FROM MY LAST BLOG FROM DRY ASS POSERS WITH NO SENSE OF HUMOR! ENOUGH ABOUT THOSE HOES!

MY TOPIC FOR THIS WEEK IS "FRENEMIES". I'M SURE WE HAVE ALL HEARD THIS TERM SOMEONE WHO PERPETRATES AS YOUR FRIEND BUT BEHIND UR BACK THEY PRAY AND PRAY FOR YOUR DOWNFALL !! FOR EXAMPLE: PARIS AND NICOLE , PARIS AND KIM K. OR JILL AND BETHENNY. GET THE POINT? WELL, I HAVE A FRENEMY, I'VE KNOWN HER FOR A LONG TIME SINCE CATHOLIC SCHOOL SKIRTS AND KNEE SOCKS, AND FOR SOME APPARENT REASON THIS CHICK THINKS SHE MADE ME !! NOW ANYBODY THAT KNOWS ME SHOULD KNOW THAT I'VE BEEN ROCKING SHIT SINCE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL--FROM COACH (YES I KNOW I SAID DESIGNER BUT WE ALL STARTED W/ A COACH BAG BITCHES) TO HCL TO GUCCI AND LV ETC ETC !!!

SHE'S
THE TYPE OF "FRIEND" THAT LIKES TO KEEP COUNT LIKE JILL DID TO BETHENNY ??? (BLANK STARE) REAL FRIENDS DON'T KEEP COUNT, AND SWEETIE BEST BELIEVE I PUT YOU UP ON SHIT TOO, UMMM, I'D LIKE TO DIRECT YOUR ATTENTION TO THAT MAN YOU CALL YOUR OWN. YOU WOULDN'T BE WITH HIM IF IT WASN'T FOR ME TELLING YOU TO GET WITH HIM. A BITCH LIKE ME SAW THE GOLDEN EGG, AND TOLD YOU TO JUMP, AND MUCH LIKE A TRACK STAR PERFORMING THE HURDLES, YOU JUMPED!


HOLD UP GUYS, THEN THE CHICK HAD THE NERVE TO SEND ME AN ANGRY TEXT. I'M SORRY BUT IF WERE FRIENDS, DON'T TALK TO ME VIA TEXT. COULD YOU BE A REAL WOMAN AND CALL ME AND TALK TO ME LIKE AN ADULT? OH, AND DON'T LEAVE ME MESSAGES THINKING YOU'RE TUPAC OR WACKA FLOCKA ALL OF A SUDDEN !! YOUR FAKE BOUGIE ASS GOT REAL HOOD !! FIRST OF ALL, TAKE THE BASS OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN VOICE AND TALK TO ME LIKE WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS FOR 20+ YRS. YOU DIDN'T MAKE ME, AND WE DID THINGS FOR EACH OTHER OUT OF FRIENDSHIP NOT SO YOU COULD 1 UP ME !!!
AS FAR AS ME INSTIGATING SHIT, YOUR POOR SOCIAL SKILLS AND ATTITUDE SPEAKS VOLUMES! YOU DO DAMAGE ALL BY YOURSELF! SO TO WRAP THIS SHIT UP, WATCH OUT FOR FRENIMIES AND THE KNIFE THEY MAY PUT IN YOUR BACK.

THIS HAS BEEN AN ESA (Erika Service Announcement). THEY SMILE IN UR FACE ALL THE WHILE THEY WANNA TAKE UR PLACE! NOW RE-TWEET THAT BITCHES! ROGER THAT! FUCKIN' HATERS!

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