In observance of this National Holiday (Sex and the City 2 premiere), the Housecunts have chosen to not blog today. We feel that it would be disrespectful, and down right uncivil to to try to take ANY attention away from this glorious day. Besides, it's 10:00 a.m. and if we're gonna catch a 7:45 movie tonight, we have to start getting ready now. There's 5 of us you know? You know how much makeup, bronzer, and blush that is? Don't even mention the shoes, belts, sunglasses, headbands, bracelets, and handbags. This literally could take days, and innocent people could get hurt if they don't stay out of our ways.
So on behalf of the rest of the "Housecunts of DC", have a great Memorial Day weekend! We'll see you guys next week. Besos!
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Paper Chaser
On a recent visit to a school in Maryland, Michelle Obama had a little girl spill all of her mama's tea. The visit was to discuss immigration reform, and how it would affect them. One of the little girls went on to tell Mrs. Obama that her mom didn't have her immigration papers.
Now what in the hell? If I were that little girl's mama, I would have beat that ass like a pinata! I know that kids at that age have absolutely no filter, they just say whatever the fuck they want outta their mouths, but I'm sorry I woulda had to whoop that ass on that one.
The little girl is lucky that no action will be taken, or else she'd be crossing the border--and I ain't talkin' about Taco Bell. No more playing at the playground in a wedding dress for her, her ass would have been riding a donkey 8 miles to the nearest school.
I bet her mom cursed her for blood en espanol when she got home. Who wants to bet that this little girl went to bed with no empanadas before bed? Hmmm....
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TP2.COM
We all know that R. Kelly has had his run ins with the law. If he's not pissing on underaged girls, I'm sure he's somewhere fantasizing about pissing on underaged girls. He's a sick fuck, I get it, but you can't deny that he's a musical genius.
I've been a fan ever since Public Announcement. His first solo cd '12 Play' definitely has some singles to bump to, but in my opinion R. Kelly's 'TP2.com' goes down in history as one of my favorite cd's.
Talk about true contemporary "baby making music"? You can play the whole disc from the first song to the last--no skipping need. If I were a girl, I would have definitely had to take at least 4-5 visits to the Planned Parenthood office just from playing this cd alone. Let's see, that cd came out in 2000. I would have hands down had a 10 year old child by now.
With songs like "Feelin' On Your Booty",
and "The Greatest Sex", this cd is dangerous. Fuck fertility drugs, all you need is this cd, and you should have your legs up in the stirrups pushing a baby out in 9 months.
Share TP-2.Com by R. KellyIf you haven't listened to this classic cd, click the link above to listen to the tracks. Be careful though, it may have you taking a "long lunch" if you know what I mean. Enjoy!
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Fergie
Ooooohhhh, What do ya'll think about Ms. Fergie Duchess of York trying to spill tea on her ex hubby to get money from a tabloid? She agreed on taking 500, 000 pounds (about $750,000) in exchange for access to Prince Andrews business. We're hearing that Fergie is millions in debt, and desperately needs to coins. She apparently only gets about $25,000 a year for alimony from Prince Andrew.
I might have to say that I don't blame Fergie for selling her ex hubby out. $25,000 a year? That's probably her bill a month for high tea and white gloves. How low of him and the royal family to not make sure she was well taken care of. She licked his royal nuts for almost a decade, and spit out two children for him, and now she's headed for the projects? Awww hell naw! I would just spill his business off of gp now. I wouldn't even care about the money. It would just be a huge "fuck you" to him and the royal family.
They're probably coming after me for saying this, you know their the British equivalent of the mafia right?
Don't worry Fergie. Girl, you're gonna be alright...
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'No Bullshit' Chris Brown
Ladies grab a towel, a Depends adult diaper, and perhaps hire a clean-up crew, cause this one is sure to make you wet. Catch Chris "Masterbation Material" Brown in his new video for 'No Bullshit'. The song is cute, but the video is ...well just watch for yourselves.
Damn, I bet him and Rihanna were doing some freaky ass shit. They are both freaks, so there's no telling what they were doing. Chris probably liked to fuck Rihanna in her ear while she wore a wedding dress as midgets danced around them in circles holding hands. Now that's some freaky ass shit son!
After watching this video, I don't think I'd mind the ass whoopin' I'd get from him. You gotta pick your battles you know...?
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