Did you fuckers miss me? I took a brief vacay from blogging. It was a holiday weekend, I'm allowed. I was possibly even going to take today as well, but I feared the "why aren't you blogging" hate mail.
It's just 8:00 a.m. here in D.C., and it's already hotter than a dope dealer's block! Even though I'm an August baby (yeah, get those gifts ready!), I can go on record to say that I absolutely hate the heat of the Summer. I never know what to wear. In the Fall/Winter you can put more layers on if you're too chilly, but you can't get buck ass naked in the Summer if you're too hot--well...?
Anyways, pray that I don't melt away in the sun today. All that would be left floating in a puddle of water is a pair of short shorts and a bow tie. Lord knows how my poor ancestors picked fuckin' cotton all day in that scorching ass sun? Sorry, to bring up slavery before 9 a.m., but I had to prove a point.
Anyways, rock out to my new favorite song 'Power' by Kanye West while you get into the "Weekend Wrap-Up". Thanks for giving us a Summer jam to bump to Kanye. That man is a genius!
So, on Thursday myself and the rest of the "Housecunts of DC" went to see 'Sex and the City II". We went to the theatre in Georgetown. I brought everyone gift bags filled with snacks and such. I even smuggled 2 bottles of champagne into the movie so we could pop bottles. Oh, and just for the record I brought real glass champagne flutes as well. Who drinks champagne from a plastic cup? Not the Housecunts!
There we are with a couple of special guest stars...
That's me getting my "yacht boy swag" on. If you had x-ray glasses you'd be able to see all of the alcohol I smuggled in that big ass red bag I carried in.
After the movie, the "Housecunts" went to Buddha Bar where we had apps and drinks. It was a perfect close to a wonderful night.
I worked all day on Friday, and was exhausted by the time I got off. The rest of the "Housecunts" met at the Donovan rooftop while I got my snooze on. I'm sure they missed me.
On Saturday my brother Borzou took me to a Korean barbeque restaurant out in VA. The place is called "Honey Pig".
There's my brother Kayvan giving Honey Pig two thumbs up!
Yum!
Wow, look at all that meat (no homo)...
After I swallowed all that meat (side eye), I had a major case of "the itis". I was supposed to go watch the UFC fight, but I couldn't move. It was lights out for me.
I woke up early on Sunday and corralled the rest of the gang for brunch at Marvin.
That's our hungry asses running to the restaurant. I sweat all we do is eat!
Well looky looky, if it ain't the two southern belles from "The Sip"!
That's me chugging a mimosa.
After brunch I made a quick stop through the Liason Hotel pool party. It must have been hosted by the devil, cause that shit was hooooottttt! A rooftop pool in 90+ degree weather? Hell naw! I left before someone had to call an ambulance for me. I thought I was gonna faint!
After my brush with death, I met up with my friend Joey to have a drink at the Gay Pride Host Hotel. It was jokes there. I was invited to a party where he told me that there would be "lots of coke and weed". He wasn't gonna get me locked up in a hotel room! Next thing you know I'd be on the back of a milk carton. No sir re Bob! I don't do coke, nor do I smoke weed. If he really wanted to lure me to a room, the draw would involve someone giving away designer shoes or sunglasses. Then I'd definitely think about coming.
After drinks, I went home for a quick change. I met up with my friend Tamika to go to the weekly Sunday School party at Lil Miss Whiskey's. The party Host Kristy Love was there in full effect. The music is always amazing, and the drinks take me places that I like to go. Unfortunately, we had to jet quickly.
I forgot we had plans to meet up with my friend Dwayne at MOVA. They had a $5 top shelf Long Island Iced Tea special going on. By this time, it was already 8 pm, and I had been drinking ever since noon, so it was only one for me!
After MOVA, we headed over to The Fireplace. You guys remember the bar that I hate to go to? The bar that smells like throw up and semen? Yeah, so we went there. It was packed because of Pride Weekend. I watched the gays for a bit, and then needed to quickly do something that was on the faaaaarrrrr end of the spectrum.
I ran home to get my "strip club swag" on, and waited for my fellow "Housecunt" Nikki to pick me up. We met up with Erika, then hit club Stadium. The club was packed with familiar faces. You know, bottle poppers and dudes in ghetto Gucci logo sneakers. The scene would have been slightly boring to me if it weren't for my crush of the week (more on that later). After dancing like white girls to gangsta rap, we headed home.
I forgot I had to work the next day. I only got about 3 hours of sleep before I had to pop up and leave out. I was a walking zombie in that bitch on Monday, but with the help of a double shot espresso, and prayer I made it through the day. When I got home, I don't remember much after opening my front door. I think I blacked out from exhaustion. I woke up at around 2 a.m. with an open box of snickerdoodles by my bed. I woke up enough to pop one in my mouth, and to wash it down with the half glass of wine on my nightstand. After my quick snack and nightcap, it was fade to black until morning!
Happy Wednesday Bitches!
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Cheaters
Today's 'Cheaters' clip catches a dude in near "action". Obviously he's told his girlfriend that he was out working on getting a "business off the ground"? I mean damn, maybe he was? Maybe he's starting a trickin' service or some shit?
Get into the mistress's shiny ass weave, and her cheap ass "get 'em girl top". That's reason enough to watch. Also get into when the girlfriend reads the mistress at around the :53 second mark. She says, "Shut yo unproportionately built ass up!" Is "unproportionately" even a fucking word yo? What in the Dictionary.com? Anyways, enjoy...
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Crush of the Week...
So, you guys read that I hit up Club Stadium on Sunday night. While I was there, I was amazed by one of the dancers--Ms. Gigi Maguire! She was here in D.C. visiting from Magic City in the ATL. Besides knowing how to work a pole like no other, Gigi is beautiful and has a great personality. We spoke briefly after her set.
She's a smart business woman who came to D.C. and slayed these bitches here. The girls at Stadium should have been ashamed to let a visitor whoop their asses on their "home court". All I can say is that Gigi deserved every fucking coin she got that night. She had a couple of moves that I'm gonna try out on my boyfriend later (Hi J). I'll let you know how that works out Gigi!
Please applaud for my Crush of the Week: Gigi Maguire! I get so much life that I die! If you ever get a chance to watch her do her thing, you better come outta your pocket and tip. Ain't shit about what she does is free! That takes skill son! (jumping up and down raising hand) Teach me Gigi!!!!!!
In this video Gigi discusses being one of the baddest chicks in the game! Check it out! Oh, and y'all know I'm new to this Twitter shit, but follow @gigimaguire bitches! (wink)
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Gato
I'm sure you guys have seen the Kat Stacks video where the two guys "jump" her. It's so disturbing to me. While I'm not condoning Kat's "fucking and telling", it's no excuse for pimp slapping and name calling. Whether she lied about Bow Wow liking dildos in the butt or not, that's no way to treat a woman. And then who are these raggedy ass "do boys". Really, you took money to slap Kat Stacks around to tell her to apologize to Fabolous and Bow Wow on camera? That's special, you should really be proud of yourselves for that one. If the allegations aren't true, there would be no need for these queens, I mean men, to retaliate like that. Only a fag would wanna get even.
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