Thursday, May 06, 2010

Super Soak that Ho!, Songs Of The Week, Caught By Q, Mr. Parker, and It's 'Housecunt' Thursday!

Lord knows what my infatuation with Soulja Boy is...

..., but I think he's the cutest thing ever! He's total "MM" (Masterbation Material--you guys can use that if you want). Even though I was doing complicated arithmetic before he was even born, he does something to me. You guys know I'm a cougar. Perhaps it's the obnoxious garish "niggerish" medallions that he wears, or his Elementary way of rapping? Who knows? Check out Soulja Boy perform 'Extra' on his balcony. I die (sticks head in freezer)!
All those little teenage whores better back the fuck up, because I'm gonna be at his next concert holding a sign that says "QUINCYJONES66.BLOGSPOT.COM LOVES SOULJA BOY". When he comes out on stage, I'm gonna cry and throw my panties at him. You think I'm kidding? Fuck wit it! (singing: "Extra, extra, read all about it...")


Songs of The Week: "Oh Let's Do It Remix", and "Not Myself Tonight"

If the original 'O Lets Do It' didn't get you pumped, check this mother fucker out. This song has become the official anthem for bacchanalia, and all things rowdy!

The remix starts out with my ex husband Diddy. He can't rap worth shit, but every now and then he gives us something to raise our eyebrows. His rap is my favorite part of the song!
Trust me, if you need a little motivation, or need to get moving in the morning put this song on. You'll have your ass in gear in no time. Times like this, I wish I had dreads to shake...hmmm?

My other song of the week is Christina Aguilera's 'Not Myself Tonight'. The video gives me Madonna 'Human Nature' 2010. I praise her for finding her inner slore (slut+whore)! The song is cute, and The Blondes definitely styled the fuck outta her. Christina has been blamed with biting Lady Gaga, but I call it being "inspired" by. Lady Gaga is the one to watch now, she sets the standards. Of course you'll see bits and pieces of her image being dispersed throughout Hollywood. She's an iconoclast.
That's why I don't get mad when I see people wearing outfits that are "inspired" by mine--it's a form of flattery. No one will execute it exactly how you will anyway, so let them have their fun being "inspired" by you.
Now if Christina shows up in her next video with her face covered in red lace, I'm pulling the plug on her. For now, let's just enjoy the clip...


Caught by Q

I caught this old prehistoric Flinstone era 'Sunset Daze' woman struggling to read the paper the other night under very dim lighting. If she got any damn closer to the paper, she'd physically be in the damn article. I'm not knocking her for wanting to get her "read on", but shit can she wait until she gets home? Those telescopes that she called readers, didn't even help. Lord knows I wish he blesses me to get that age, but some ish I'm just not gonna do.

I don't even have any words for this cunt I saw in my lobby. She's probably on of my neighbors, but I don't give a fuck. She looks like a sloppy hipster version of 'Annie Get Your Gun"!

This tree hugging-granola eating-vegan-gluten free-no animal testing-picket sign carrying-Grateful Dead following-hippie got onto the train the other night all happy and smily. Every damn time I looked up, this bitch was smiling at me. Don't you guys hate that shit? After the third time, I gave her the shitty face. Then she pulled out her book. What do you think she was reading? I'm thinking it's "Spain on $10 a Day For Dummies".
Also, speaking of staring! This doughnut devouring-'Biggest Loser'-Weight Watcher-non calorie counting-big ass couple kept staring at me too. They acted like they've never seen a boy in short shorts on the train before. I wasn't fucking with them though, they were looking at me like they were sizing up their prey. They were probably hungry, and my legs were looking like short ribs to them. One false move, and I could have been on an open fire with an apple in my mouth!

Jesus is most definitely Lord, but I'm quite sure He wouldn't want you vandalizing city property! Just a damn shame!

This picture is courtesy of my friend Brandon Parker in NYC. It's pretty self-explanatory.

Oh, and it's even better from the back. Something about this picture just makes me wanna douche? Uggghhhh! Thanks Brandon!


Mr. Parker

Speaking of Mr. Parker...

Here are a couple pics from his latest photo shoot. Those of you who have followed the blog for a while know that Brandon is a model in New York who is signed with FORD! I'm so proud of you Brando! Do your thing!

Oh, and those shorts are cute. Can I borrow them?

All photos property of Tarrice Love: Check out his photo blog here...

It's 'Housecunt' Thursday featuring Tamara

It's 'Housecunt Thursday guys, you know the drill by now. If you didn't see it already, up at the top is a poll. Who's your favorite 'Housecunt'? I didn't include myself, because it would be a landslide victory! Anyways, take it away Tamara...

Hey ya’ll remember me? Yeah it’s your girl Swimmer’s Hair. When I’m not rocking my signature waves, I’m known to keep a slicked back Sade ‘do – yeah ya’ll – the ponytail is something I cannot live without!!! Peep my favorite ‘do in the picture below. (*Stop staring at my Alexander Wangs and focus on the ‘do people.*)…

Oooohhh, but while I’m on the subject of the A. Wangs, they too are something that I absolutely cannot live without!!

Okay…back to business! The last couple of weekends I have not been my typical grandma-self, and I have been out and about doing some thangs (not literally – get ya’ll minds out of the gutter - *wink*).
Last weekend was my baby Nat’s 24th birthday (yeah I said 24 and she is one year older than me!!) We celebrated at Hood Lounge – I mean Lux Lounge – and all I can say is that I could have worn a wife beater and sweat shorts up in that beesh and still felt high fashion. Peep me, the bday girl, and some more of the crew below. (Oh yeah, and please note the EMPTY ice bucket on our table. Trying to charge us $325 for a $45 bottle of Rose? I don’t think so!! I’m not cheap I just don’t waste my money!!!) Special shout-out to Nat cuz she is taking Doll House to the next level with her move to LA this month (*sadly waving goodbye*).

It just would not be fair to not share with you another picture of MOI from Nat’s bday weekend (Oh yeah, that’s my girl from the A beside me – Hey Nee!!) Please peep my red suede vintage dress. How much did it cost you ask? (Even if you didn’t ask pretend that you did!) $15 dollars!!! That’s how much. You believe that? I cannot live without my vintage finds!!! I am too good to go digging through Goodwill (for the most part) but ooo-weee I am a sucker for a vintage store!

So onto this past weekend where I went to Vegas with my girls L and D. I flew Southwest and the only thing that kept me sane was “Big O” in the seat next to me who made it rain Chardonnays!! (*Shout out to Big O*) Can I just say that I love SW for their reasonable prices (at times) but in 2010 I rather pay for my dayum bag and get a movie on a 4 hour flight!! Step your game up SW!?!??!?! Stop making “bags fly free” rap commercials and put some TVs in them headrests hood style! (*steps off soap box*) As I was getting off the plane, I saw this fly girl two rows in front of me (how in the world did I miss her the whole flight?).
Don’t get me wrong, I am all for sleeping on your forehead, sleeping sitting straight up, working out with your ‘do rag tied tightly around your bobby-pinned wrap – you know doing whatever you gotta do to preserve your ‘do…but zebra satin bonnets? Hell naw Boo!!! I can live without looking like Big Worm!!!
After arriving to the hotel, me and D, the birthday girl, immediately went to get shots. And when I say immediate I mean…taxi cab driver pulls up to the ‘telly, D waits out front for me while I retrieve luggage from trunk, I roll said luggage towards D at the door, we exchange hugs and pleasantries and without words or directions, both make our way to the first bar inside the casino doors:

Multiple shots later…she is laid out in the beautiful Mandarin bathtub. (*We also took some toilet pics but she would kill me if I posted them and since it’s her bday week I will be nice.*) The dayum Mandarin Oriental in Las Vegas is not to be slept on son! I’m talking ‘bout FIYAH!! I cannot live without a 5-star hotel, what 5 star chick can?

We got cute and went out a couple of times…and overall we had a blast….(the nude Jimmy Choos by the way – T cannot live without em!!)

We even ran into some very famous people. Let’s see how smart you guys are – do you know who this infamous character is that starred in the multi-game series produced by the makers of Nintendo?

You guessed it!! That is Super Mario himself!! Except this guy was in denial, he said his name was Armando and he purposely dressed like that (blank stare).
Every now and then we allowed the Devil to take over…Devil you ask? (Even if you didn’t ask, pretend like you did!!!) This here is the devil:

At all times stay away from Him, or you will find yourself in casino lobbies posing like this…

And what good, respectable 5 star chick does that? I would love to show ya’ll some pics of Rehab Sundays at the Hard Rock Casino but they confiscated our bags upon entering that outside orgy. But to fill you in a little – try and follow my vision – I walked in and saw my fair share of stretch marks, lace fronts, head-giving, pill-popping, areolas, bouncing injected @sses, tiger fists, clip-ons, collagen…you get my point…all kinds of G-rated material – all while listening to the tunes of the Hot 100. Quite fun times I must say!!

Well that is my wrap-up for this week’s edition of House Cunt Thursdays with yours truly. Until then, “looking back at it” (like my girl Nikki says) and signing off (*flipping my ponytail and waving good bye while the background music is playing – “She got a donk, she got a donk, she got a…”*) DEUCES!!!!

P.S. I am back to my Grandma ways – I am home typing this fab blog post for ya’ll while the other HCs are out celebrating Cinco de Mayo and taking editorials.

(*sigh*) I hope they had a swirl or two for me ☹ Happy belated Cinco de Mayo Ay Body!!!

1 comment:

Blogger said...

Just received my check for $500.

Sometimes people don't believe me when I tell them about how much you can make filling out paid surveys online...

So I show them a video of myself actually getting paid $500 for taking paid surveys.