Super Soak that Ho!, Songs Of The Week, Caught By Q, Mr. Parker, and It's 'Housecunt' Thursday!

Lord knows what my infatuation with Soulja Boy is...

..., but I think he's the cutest thing ever! He's total "MM" (Masterbation Material--you guys can use that if you want). Even though I was doing complicated arithmetic before he was even born, he does something to me. You guys know I'm a cougar. Perhaps it's the obnoxious garish "niggerish" medallions that he wears, or his Elementary way of rapping? Who knows? Check out Soulja Boy perform 'Extra' on his balcony. I die (sticks head in freezer)!

All those little teenage whores better back the fuck up, because I'm gonna be at his next concert holding a sign that says "QUINCYJONES66.BLOGSPOT.COM LOVES SOULJA BOY". When he comes out on stage, I'm gonna cry and throw my panties at him. You think I'm kidding? Fuck wit it! (singing: "Extra, extra, read all about it...")

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Songs of The Week: "Oh Let's Do It Remix", and "Not Myself Tonight"

If the original 'O Lets Do It' didn't get you pumped, check this mother fucker out. This song has become the official anthem for bacchanalia, and all things rowdy!

The remix starts out with my ex husband Diddy. He can't rap worth shit, but every now and then he gives us something to raise our eyebrows. His rap is my favorite part of the song!

Trust me, if you need a little motivation, or need to get moving in the morning put this song on. You'll have your ass in gear in no time. Times like this, I wish I had dreads to shake...hmmm?

Waka Flocka Flame Ft. Diddy & Rick Ross - O Lets Do It (REMIX) HQ/HD (Official Music Video) EXPLICIT/DIRTY from Nxgodsgift on Vimeo.

My other song of the week is Christina Aguilera's 'Not Myself Tonight'. The video gives me Madonna 'Human Nature' 2010. I praise her for finding her inner slore (slut+whore)! The song is cute, and The Blondes definitely styled the fuck outta her. Christina has been blamed with biting Lady Gaga, but I call it being "inspired" by. Lady Gaga is the one to watch now, she sets the standards. Of course you'll see bits and pieces of her image being dispersed throughout Hollywood. She's an iconoclast.

That's why I don't get mad when I see people wearing outfits that are "inspired" by mine--it's a form of flattery. No one will execute it exactly how you will anyway, so let them have their fun being "inspired" by you.

Now if Christina shows up in her next video with her face covered in red lace, I'm pulling the plug on her. For now, let's just enjoy the clip...

christina aguilera. not myself tonight. from roma razmiki on Vimeo.

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Caught by Q

I caught this old prehistoric Flinstone era 'Sunset Daze' woman struggling to read the paper the other night under very dim lighting. If she got any damn closer to the paper, she'd physically be in the damn article. I'm not knocking her for wanting to get her "read on", but shit can she wait until she gets home? Those telescopes that she called readers, didn't even help. Lord knows I wish he blesses me to get that age, but some ish I'm just not gonna do.

I don't even have any words for this cunt I saw in my lobby. She's probably on of my neighbors, but I don't give a fuck. She looks like a sloppy hipster version of 'Annie Get Your Gun"!

This tree hugging-granola eating-vegan-gluten free-no animal testing-picket sign carrying-Grateful Dead following-hippie got onto the train the other night all happy and smily. Every damn time I looked up, this bitch was smiling at me. Don't you guys hate that shit? After the third time, I gave her the shitty face. Then she pulled out her book. What do you think she was reading? I'm thinking it's "Spain on $10 a Day For Dummies".

Also, speaking of staring! This doughnut devouring-'Biggest Loser'-Weight Watcher-non calorie counting-big ass couple kept staring at me too. They acted like they've never seen a boy in short shorts on the train before. I wasn't fucking with them though, they were looking at me like they were sizing up their prey. They were probably hungry, and my legs were looking like short ribs to them. One false move, and I could have been on an open fire with an apple in my mouth!

Jesus is most definitely Lord, but I'm quite sure He wouldn't want you vandalizing city property! Just a damn shame!

This picture is courtesy of my friend Brandon Parker in NYC. It's pretty self-explanatory.

Oh, and it's even better from the back. Something about this picture just makes me wanna douche? Uggghhhh! Thanks Brandon!

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Mr. Parker

Speaking of Mr. Parker...

Here are a couple pics from his latest photo shoot. Those of you who have followed the blog for a while know that Brandon is a model in New York who is signed with FORD! I'm so proud of you Brando! Do your thing!

Oh, and those shorts are cute. Can I borrow them?

All photos property of Tarrice Love: Check out his photo blog here...

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It's 'Housecunt' Thursday featuring Tamara

It's 'Housecunt Thursday guys, you know the drill by now. If you didn't see it already, up at the top is a poll. Who's your favorite 'Housecunt'? I didn't include myself, because it would be a landslide victory! Anyways, take it away Tamara...

Hey ya’ll remember me? Yeah it’s your girl Swimmer’s Hair. When I’m not rocking my signature waves, I’m known to keep a slicked back Sade ‘do – yeah ya’ll – the ponytail is something I cannot live without!!! Peep my favorite ‘do in the picture below. (*Stop staring at my Alexander Wangs and focus on the ‘do people.*)…

Oooohhh, but while I’m on the subject of the A. Wangs, they too are something that I absolutely cannot live without!!

Okay…back to business! The last couple of weekends I have not been my typical grandma-self, and I have been out and about doing some thangs (not literally – get ya’ll minds out of the gutter - *wink*).

Last weekend was my baby Nat’s 24th birthday (yeah I said 24 and she is one year older than me!!) We celebrated at Hood Lounge – I mean Lux Lounge – and all I can say is that I could have worn a wife beater and sweat shorts up in that beesh and still felt high fashion. Peep me, the bday girl, and some more of the crew below. (Oh yeah, and please note the EMPTY ice bucket on our table. Trying to charge us $325 for a $45 bottle of Rose? I don’t think so!! I’m not cheap I just don’t waste my money!!!) Special shout-out to Nat cuz she is taking Doll House to the next level with her move to LA this month (*sadly waving goodbye*).

It just would not be fair to not share with you another picture of MOI from Nat’s bday weekend (Oh yeah, that’s my girl from the A beside me – Hey Nee!!) Please peep my red suede vintage dress. How much did it cost you ask? (Even if you didn’t ask pretend that you did!) $15 dollars!!! That’s how much. You believe that? I cannot live without my vintage finds!!! I am too good to go digging through Goodwill (for the most part) but ooo-weee I am a sucker for a vintage store!

So onto this past weekend where I went to Vegas with my girls L and D. I flew Southwest and the only thing that kept me sane was “Big O” in the seat next to me who made it rain Chardonnays!! (*Shout out to Big O*) Can I just say that I love SW for their reasonable prices (at times) but in 2010 I rather pay for my dayum bag and get a movie on a 4 hour flight!! Step your game up SW!?!??!?! Stop making “bags fly free” rap commercials and put some TVs in them headrests hood style! (*steps off soap box*) As I was getting off the plane, I saw this fly girl two rows in front of me (how in the world did I miss her the whole flight?).

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for sleeping on your forehead, sleeping sitting straight up, working out with your ‘do rag tied tightly around your bobby-pinned wrap – you know doing whatever you gotta do to preserve your ‘do…but zebra satin bonnets? Hell naw Boo!!! I can live without looking like Big Worm!!!

After arriving to the hotel, me and D, the birthday girl, immediately went to get shots. And when I say immediate I mean…taxi cab driver pulls up to the ‘telly, D waits out front for me while I retrieve luggage from trunk, I roll said luggage towards D at the door, we exchange hugs and pleasantries and without words or directions, both make our way to the first bar inside the casino doors:

Multiple shots later…she is laid out in the beautiful Mandarin bathtub. (*We also took some toilet pics but she would kill me if I posted them and since it’s her bday week I will be nice.*) The dayum Mandarin Oriental in Las Vegas is not to be slept on son! I’m talking ‘bout FIYAH!! I cannot live without a 5-star hotel, what 5 star chick can?

We got cute and went out a couple of times…and overall we had a blast….(the nude Jimmy Choos by the way – T cannot live without em!!)

We even ran into some very famous people. Let’s see how smart you guys are – do you know who this infamous character is that starred in the multi-game series produced by the makers of Nintendo?

You guessed it!! That is Super Mario himself!! Except this guy was in denial, he said his name was Armando and he purposely dressed like that (blank stare).

Every now and then we allowed the Devil to take over…Devil you ask? (Even if you didn’t ask, pretend like you did!!!) This here is the devil:

At all times stay away from Him, or you will find yourself in casino lobbies posing like this…

And what good, respectable 5 star chick does that? I would love to show ya’ll some pics of Rehab Sundays at the Hard Rock Casino but they confiscated our bags upon entering that outside orgy. But to fill you in a little – try and follow my vision – I walked in and saw my fair share of stretch marks, lace fronts, head-giving, pill-popping, areolas, bouncing injected @sses, tiger fists, clip-ons, collagen…you get my point…all kinds of G-rated material – all while listening to the tunes of the Hot 100. Quite fun times I must say!!

Well that is my wrap-up for this week’s edition of House Cunt Thursdays with yours truly. Until then, “looking back at it” (like my girl Nikki says) and signing off (*flipping my ponytail and waving good bye while the background music is playing – “She got a donk, she got a donk, she got a…”*) DEUCES!!!!

P.S. I am back to my Grandma ways – I am home typing this fab blog post for ya’ll while the other HCs are out celebrating Cinco de Mayo and taking editorials.

(*sigh*) I hope they had a swirl or two for me ☹ Happy belated Cinco de Mayo Ay Body!!!

Auntie Whitney, Where Did Everyone Go?, Walk For Me, and Daaaaaaammmnnnn!

So, the highly anticipated part 2 of the Oprah/Whitney interview aired yesterday. It gave me everything I needed. Whitney looked amazing. Her dress was appropriate, and her legs were glossed for the Gods! Auntie Whitney spilled tea like no other, and Oprah was there with a roll of Bounty soaking it up! Oprah asked Whitney at one point if Bobby had ever hit her. Whitney said, "I was raised with two boys and I’ll fight you back. He slapped me once but I hit him over the head three times.” Don't fuck with Auntie Whitney, she don't play. She even said that she fucked him up one time. Oprah asked if there was blood. In her raspy voice she responded, "Yes". My other standout in the interview was when Oprah acted as if she couldn't get how Auntie Whit was getting high. Whitney told Oprah to "Stay with her", and said,"You put your marijuana, you lace it, you roll it up and you smoke it,”! Whaaaaaaaaatttttt? I damn near lost it. The only thing I was waiting for was Oprah to pull out some weed and cocaine, and ask her to demonstrate exactly how she did it. Now that's "Must see TV"! At the end of yesterday's interview Oprah asked if she was scared what Bobby would think, and Whitney gave Oprah the Sheree (ATL Housewives) "Who gon check me boo" face. I live!

Can ya'll tell me one thing though? Why did Oprah have to sit like that with her foot strategically placed so we could see her fresh red bottoms the WHOLE interview? We know you have Louboutin's for days Oprah, but you didn't have to slay us like that. At the end of the show, Whitney sang...(crickets)

Anyways, I hear Whitney's CD is good, but I couldn't see buying it--I'm broke. I would find coins somewhere to buy the 'Being Bobby Brown' DVD though. Now that's entertainment. (singing 'I Wanna Dance With Somebody', and dancing around like Taylor Swift)...

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From Rihanna to Lady Gaga, it seems that it's chic to not see. Rihanna was pictured last week at the Guisseppe store in NY with these studded glasses on. I know the bitch couldn't see shit.

On Sunday, Lady Gaga accepted her speech in this lace number. She needed help onstage. Before she finished her acceptance she had to rip the lace from her face. Is it the rage to impair your vision in the name of fashion (scrambling to find studded glasses and lace)? I get life from ANYONE who needs help walking because their fashions won't allow them to either see or move freely. I would LOVE to wear the beatest outfit, and have someone roll me around on a hospital gurney! I die! Big ups (i'm bringing that saying back from earlier in the decade) to Rihanna and Lady Gaga for expressing themselves through fashion. If I had the beat coin, they would never want to see me though. I would battle them for BLOOD! I would wear crotchless pants with swarvorski encrusted Pringle's cans to cover my penis, no shirt with a chinchilla bow tie, a Van Cleef and Arpel's noose around my neck, and Cartier LOVE bracelets around my ankles. Fuck with it!

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Fuck with this as well...My sweet child Brandon Parker (FORD Models) walking for blood in the Tahari show in NY for Fashion week. I'm so proud of him. I told you Brando that we are gonna party DOWN when you get your first billboard in Times Square. I feel it coming!

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I was strolling into my building the other day, and look what I saw. The policeman were patrolling, and their horses stopped to take a HUGE shit right in front of my house. This motherfucker needed some Immodium or what's the pink stuff? It smelled like shit (because it was shit), and it was right in the middle of the road, so cars kept rolling over it. Someone get this horse to a bidet!

Happy Wednesday!

Can't Touch This, I'm So Touched, When I Think Of You I Touch Myself, and Touchdown...

One wouldn't have to even be interested in fashion to appreciate Fall '09 Hermes.  Aesthetically, there's nothing wrong with this collection.  It gives us classic tailoring with a modern flair.  The color palette is genius and the mixture of different textures and fabrics take me places that I haven't been in a while.

Loves it!

Jesus be a fence all around me everyday! Ummmm, ummm, ummm...

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Speaking of fashion (eyes well with tears), oh hold on, let me get a tissue (starts to weep, blows nose).  My dear sweet child Brandon Parker was just signed to motherfucking Ford Models in NYC.  I'm so proud of him.  I know how hard it's been, but now you are about to rock. 

As RuPaul says on her show, "Don't fuck it up!"

Look, that child can even smile with his eyes.  He's a natural.  Congrats again.

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This little fucker from Dade County, FL needs an exorcism.  He had the nerve to be beating his little meat in the backyard.  When his mother caught him, and told him to stop he punched her in the face.  He was arrested on domestic violence charges, and is still supposed to be in jail under a $500 bond.  No he shouldn't have punched his mother, but I have been mad at times when mother-fuckers have ruined my nut.  I mean, I didn't punch anybody or no shit like that, but I was mad!  Maybe his mother shouldn't have stopped him, but perhaps let him finish, and just told him not to do it again?  I'm kidding...(kinda)

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Get into Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush in this month's GQ.  You can hate on Kim K. all you want, but she's standing looking at all of us with both her thumbs in her ears, and her tongue out saying "Nanny, nanny, boo-boo!"  With a dime like that on her arm, I couldn't see giving a fuck.  She got paid big time for taking Ray-J's meat on camera, and then she got an over coin for Playboy, and then she gets to go home to this... 
The girls could talk all they wanted.  Looks like she has the last laugh, and we're crying...

Also, get all over A Rod. in this month's Details.  I'm wondering if he needs someone to shime hit bat (blank stares)?

Happy Wednesday Fuckers!

Weekend Wrap-Up, I Wouldn't Even Be Mad If..., and more Brandon Parker

So, my weekend was kind of a blur.  I worked until 6 on Friday.  Jonathan came out to Tysons and picked me up.  We went to Georgetown to see these new ALIFE tennis shoes that had come out that day.  I was going to get them, but after more observation realized that they didn't give me that much life.  Later on that night, I went to the Fireplace (Uggghhhhhhh--sticking my finger in my mouth and gagging), for a quick cocktail.  It was so late in there, and so were the queens.  This trade tried to hem me up and talk to me, but I wasn't feeling him.  He gave trade all day long, but on certain words ending in a vowel I felt like he was a queen.  You can never tell these days.  Whatever happened to the days when a queen and a trade was a trade?  One week you see a particular person posted up on the wall giving masculine teas, and the next week they are popping their pussy to Beyonce 'Single Ladies'.  A mess, I say....

Anyways, I fleeced from The Fireplace and went home.  I worked early, and was glad about it, because this week started "Holiday" hours.  We are open until 9 on Saturdays.  After work I was slightly blown, and just wanted to quick bite and a cocktail.  I went to Finn and Porter inside The Embassy Suites.  As soon as I walked in I saw Omarosa standing in the lobby.  I felt like it was a conjure.  I walked into the restaurant and sat in the bar--other conjures followed.  It was too much.  I didn't ask for all of that, I just wanted a quiet dinner.

Yesterday I worked as well. My friend Lucy came through Tysons with two of her kids and wanted me to eat with them at one of my favorite Thai spots in the city.  We ate and fleeced.  I came home to start to get ready to go out.  I wanted to go to Eyebar.  I got ready and Norman came to pick me up and drop me off there--he couldn't see coming in--smart guy.  It was so tired!  The same  old queens.  Does anyone remember the last time I went there?  I said that everyone had funky breathe?  Well, last night 2 guys approached me with the stinkiest breathe ever.  Along with checking id outside, they should also check for rank breathe before letting patrons enter.  What the hell?  

I saw the usual club staples.  I showed a little grace, and got a little grace.  When I was about to leave, I saw this guy that has been persistent about "talking to me" for a while.  He asked me where I was going and asked if I would meet him at another nearby club.  I told him that I wouldn't make any promises, but would let him know. (Remember this, I'll be back to it)

So as I'm leaving I see random people outside that I know finishing up cigarettes.  I chat with them for a bit, they go back in, and i begin to fleece down the street.

As I'm walking I hear, "She had the nerve to wear a fake fur to the club..."  I stopped in my tracks and turned around slowly to see 3 of the most tired queens (with no coats on at all, mind you) I've seen in a while.  "What did you say?", I said.  "Oh, you can keep walking sweetie", says the main queen.  I pumped back up to where they were standing and politely asked who they were.  In the most monotone voice ever I told them that I have never been a member of PETA, and neither should they.  I asked them why they had to be so nasty, and said that (this was the ruler) they should try to "channel all of that hate and negative energy into something positive".  They got life and got in after realizing that my coat was not faux.  They are lucky they caught me on a subdued night, if they would have caught Quincy Fierce--Awww Lawd!  I would have pumped back into the club and retrieved the appropriate banjee house girls to slash their faces.  It doesen't even call for all of that though.  I thought "Going Green" had to do with the environment and not jealous hatin' ass bitches.

Anyways, after that I pumped down the street to meet the guy who was on my ovaries about meeting up.  I shot him a text and asked if he were still there.  He replied "Yes".  I walked into the club, and immediately saw him.  He was all up in some nasty queens face.  Dancing and grinding all up on him, and being gross.  I got a cocktail, and stood in the cut.  I sent him a text that said, " I may stop through".  I watched as he retrieved his phone and sent me a reply message.  I finished my cocktail quickly and fleeced without him ever knowing I was there.  30 minutes later this bitch ass nigga sends me a text that read: Where are you?  Can I come over?.  I picked up the phone and called him.  I told him to go to the mother-fucking queens house in the red shirt from the club.  He was stunned.  "You were there", he said.  I never answered yes or no, but gave him a play by play of what they were doing.  I simply explained to him, that if you invite me somewhere have the decency to look out for me.  It's a respect thing.  After I read him, I went to bed.  What a fucking weekend!

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I wouldn't even be mad if Castro a.k.a Supreme knocked on my door right now dress as the Comcast cable man.  And he...never mind!

I wouldn't even be mad if either one of these trades shot me.  I would get life and take the bullet out myself because they are so fine...Wouldn't that be over?  

I wouldn't even be mad if someone bought me these new LV tennis shoes.  You know I live for Stephen Sprouse!

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Remember my sweet baby child Brandon Parker?  Check him out on www.loveismyrealname.blogspot.com.  I'm so proud of him!

photos property of Tarrice Love