Sunday, June 06, 2010

And My Week Went A Lil' Somethin' Like This..., Where's The Beef?, Caught By Q, Crush of the Week: Taylor Lautner, and Mini Thug?

Good morning pecker junkies, long time no blog huh? I've been sooo busy with other projects, more on that later though. Jam to this new track by Drake while you read what I did this weekend. The song is called "Light Up", and features the Jigga himself. It's so dope!

I'm just a tad irritated this morning, because my roommate thinks our apartment is the 'Jersey Shore' House. Shortly after 3 am, I was awakened by the cacophony of what sounded like drunken sailors. Drunken sailors=my roommate's extremely intoxicated friends who were "crashing" over. I'm over 30, I don't crash at someone's apartment after a drunken night, so tacky. I was more pissed because it's extremely rare that I contemplate getting a full nights rest and last was one of the nights where I thought I could squeeze in perhaps 6 hours? I normally average 4 hours a night. I have mastered the art of napping, at times even standing up, or even while holding a conversation with someone. It's all about the quick power nap. Now, I'm so tired and I have a million things to do. Oh, the drunken ship of sea men are fast asleep though. Well, until I get up and blast some Linkin Park...

My weekend was pretty mild for the most part. I hope you guys got out to enjoy some of the warm weather. It was so humid on Friday though, the air was so fucking moist. I absolutely hate the Summer time! I have no clue what to wear. Well, I'll take that back. I DO know what to wear, I'd just combust if I DID wear it. And combust is what I did on Friday night!

I went over to the No Kings/ReadySetDC Art Showcase. It featured talented artist from all over the city. My gorgeous girl, Ky'Leigh Wilson was on hand to showcase her amazing art!


Check out the rest of here stuff here...

The showcase was held in a condo building where every artist had their own condo to show their work. Here an artist put a whimsical twist on the pornography industry. His condo even had a peep show room!

Other art featured at the event...

...and of course my man Brandon Hill was on deck. He's so dope it hurts!

Congrats on an amazing event guys!

After the showing friends decided to go to Donovan House rooftop for a nightcap. When we arrived the doorman was so abrupt, and said that it was a "private party". Did this fucker have any clue that I'm a trailblazer in this DC nightlife shit! I was pounding shots of patron, and participating in all types of illegal activity while he was crawling around in Huggies! Once upstairs we saw that the crowd was We ordered a round of drinks, and downed them like rockstars. We couldn't be seen up there with those people. I had on brand new short shorts, and my friend Aureta was wearing these...

The new Louis sequined booties. They weren't ready for all of that fashion all at once, so we had to leave quickly.
My ace Dwayne, his friend Justin, and I went to the next spot. I heard that U St. Music Hall was supposed to be good, so we headed over there. Remind me to not listen to the fucker who told me that shit. It was so lame. I could have sworn I say a pair of glow sticks. I ran out before anyone spotted me.
After that atrocity, we headed over to PURE for my girl Ms. KP's book signing party. The book is called 'The Dirty Divorce', and I'm in it! I started reading it on Saturday, and I'm almost done. The book is set in D.C., so it's refreshing to read a book with references to familiar places in it.

We stayed at PURE for a bit, because the music was cute, and so was the eye candy. I had "eye sex" with at least 3 people. It's the safest sex one can have. It's all in your head. I'm doing it

After all that "eye fucking", I needed a...

...SLURPEE! Yeah, I needed a SLURPEE--that's what I needed. After the late night snack attack, I said my goodbyes to Justin and Dwayne and made my way home.

Yesterday I worked. It was dreadful. I needed to take myself on a date, to forget about the horrible day at work. I went to see my husband Diddy in 'Get Him To The Greek'!

The movie was so funny. It's definitely my type of humor. Sane people may not get some of the jokes, but if you're sick and twisted knock yourself out.
Diddy did such a great job in the movie. Look at him, he's so dreamy...

It just looks like his nut sack smells nice. You gotta appreciate a man with a nice smelling nut sack, it will take you far in life.

After the movie I came home and watched some of the MTV Movie Awards. It was wack to me, so I wasn't paying it too much attention. Before I knew it, I was counting sheep like a drug dealer counts money only to be awakened by "The Situation" pounding beers in my living room. Fuck my Life!

Happy Monday Bitches!


Where's The Beef?

I'm sure you guys have gotten wind of the Lil Kim/Nicki Minaj beef by now. Apparently, Lil Kim and Ray J went on Nicki Minaj saying that she should recognize who mad way for her. Then I'm guessing Drake and Nicki had some words to say while they performed together recently.
First of all, I don't want Ray-J saying anything. I know it has nothing to do with Lil Kim and Nicki's beef, but I'd like to go on record to say that Ray-J could quite possibly be THE wackest person on earth. He better be glad God blessed him with that enormous "peen", because otherwise he'd be fucked! (exhale) Now back to the beef...

Nicki is great and all, but Lord knows she's no Kim. Kim has has countless number one singles, and even fucked the late great Biggie Smalls. Just from the Biggie Smalls "fuckage" she wins the beef. Lil Kim was the first female rapper to rap about all of the things gay men wanted to hear about, designer shoes, sex, and money.
Nicki is killing the game right now, but she hasn't even released her own cd yet? I just need her to give respect where respect is due. That's like Teairra Mari trying to come for Beyonce, chile please. Take a number, have a seat, and wait your turn!
Where can I get a t-shirt made that reads, "Team Kim"? Let me know...


Caught By Q

I watched this girl on the train the other day go from a clean face, to looking like a drag queen in less than 10 minutes. She painted her face down! She drew on her eyebrows, contoured her cheekbones, and slapped on tons of mascara to complete the tranny transformation. I should have asked her for a before and after shot, that woulda been cute huh?

Could you guys do me a favor please? If you see me losing my hair, but trying to still hold on to a ponytail, please tie me down and whoop my ass! It's kinda like an inverted mullet, party on the sides and business on top! You know I travel with pretty much EVERYTHING in my bag when I travel on the train, so I had a pair of scissors. It took all of the strength in me to not grab the frail ponytail, and cut it off! Get it together grandpa!

Crush of the Week: Taylor Lautner

With the new Twilight movie coming out on June 3oth, I thought it'd be fitting to have Taylor Lautner be my Crush of the Week.

Thank God he's officially "legal" now so we can all stop feeling like R. Kelly! His body is a wonderland. He's mainly the reason why all of those horny teenage girls stand in line to see those damn 'New Moon' movies.

Hopefully for us cougars, there will be many shirtless scenes in the new movie. We'll just have to wait and see. You can thank me later


Mini Thug?

Check out this video of a little boy who can be no more than 2 years old rapping along to Wacka Flacka's 'O Let's Do It'. I bet his trifling ass ghetto parents haven't even taught him his ABC's yet. Even though I'm embarrassed to say, it IS pretty fucking cute. I'm watching, but don't be surprised if Child Protective Service gets an "anonymous" call! I was just waiting for his dad to give him a gun to hold. Check them out, they are so proud of the their son reciting a ghetto anthem. Welcome to Niggerfest 2010".
What a far cry from why my mom made me recite Bible verses as a kid. Just look at how I turned out (side eye)...


Dovie-Lee Lineau said...

You nasty! That lil taylor boy just turned 18 bout 3 months ago. Thats not cute!  Anyway....that lil boy rapping is a cute lil boy...sad he will grow up to most likely sell some a little jail time and probably be very homophobic...and look scruffy. 


Osiejackson said...

I am also, going on RECORD and saying! I LOVE AURETA!
Hi Aureta!!!......  Q, you already know I Heart U!