Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The "Long" and Short of it All, Kate in 3D!, and NFL DUI

The "Long" and Short Of It All

Well, well, well...It's no secret that "the church" is full of poo pirates, but our latest allegation of butt banging comes from "homophobe" Eddie Long. Long is the senior pastor of the New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Lithonia, Georgia where he gave "kneel down at the alter" a whole new meaning.

Allegedly Long used his position as pastor to coerce young boys into a sexual relationship. Supposedly, the young men who are now 20 and 21, were given cars, lavish gifts, and were taken on trips in exchange for a ride on Long's schlong.

I grew up in the church, and I'm a witness that they're more undercover gays there than at a gloryhole. I get more phone numbers at church than any club I've ever been to. I'm just saying...

1.) I don't trust ANY man that lives in Atlanta and claims to be straight.
2.) Any man that wears a muscle shirt and vest as pictured above definitely digs in "boy cave".
3.) Anyone that is soooo against gay marriage is definitely gay.
4.) Again, I don't trust ANY man that lives in Atlanta and claims to be straight.

5.) Eddie Long loved Patti LaBelle, and she performed at his church. No straight man has EVER escaped Patti LaBelle's presence, and hasn't looked at a man in "that way". Patti is our "recruiter"--she works for and with us. She has been turning straight men gay for years. You could be the straightest of straight, but after a session with Patti, you'll end up vogueing in denim shorts and combat boots!

6.) He smiles with his eyes in most photographs.

7.) I Don't trust ANY man that lives in Atlanta and claims to be straight.

Eddie Long: T.I. come over here and take a picture with me. Praise the Lord!

T.I.: That's what's up Pastor. Great sermon! Especially the part about when you said you hated fags.

Eddie: Oh yeah T.I., you know me. I don't play that gay stuff man. Praise the Lord!

T.I.: Ahhh Pastor, are you supposed to have you finger in my butthole while we take this picture?

Eddie: Yes! I'm anointing it with oil, so that you may be blessed!

T.I.: Aiiight then, in that case..."You can do whatever you like..."

Ok, so I know I may go to hell for all of this, but it sure was funny. It will be interesting to see how the story unfolds. (laughing) Eddie Long straight? Haaaaa


Kate in 3D

ANOTHER Magazine has released the first 3D Fashion movie. The movie features our favorite coke snorting supermodel. No not Naomi, Kate. Kate Moss looks amazingly stunning in the film. The 3D glasses are free when you purchase this month's addition of the mag. Enjoy the video, and happy coke snorting!

Enjoy the vid sans glasses here...



Sexy footballer Braylon Edwards was arrested the other night and charged with a DUI. That's not really news to me, I just wanted an excuse to post his shirtless pics. Who hasn't had a DUI?It's like having the chicken pocs, you have to have it at least once.

Bottoms up Braylon!

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