VMA's, And My Weekend Went A Little Something Like This..., and Tom Ford!

If you guys missed the MTV Music Awards last night, you didn't miss shit. What a big ol ball of boring! The only thing exciting about the show was Lady Gaga and her multiple outfit changes. Congrats to her for cleaning up with 8 wins!

She's so fucking over! She wore McQueen from his last collection. Check out the armadillo shoes. She was escorted by former members of the military. It was a quiet protest to ending 'Don't ask, Don't tell". Of course she had to do something for her gays.

Speaking of gays, she wore an outfit completely made of meat! Meat Packing Couture! She's so Avant Garde that I can't stand it. Whether you agree with her "fashion antics" or not, you have to say that she does grab attention.

In my opinion, EVERYONE looked horrible last night. Ciara had one of the best outfits though in head to toe Givenchy.

Of course Justin Beiber had the best hair, but the worst performance. He lipsynched for blood! Can he just go away?

If Justin Beiber had the best hair, then Rihanna had the worst! What the fuck was she thinking with that red wig? She looked like a hood Raggedy Anne. You guys know how much I ove Rihanna, and she can't do much wrong in my eye, but she deserved another Chris Brown beat down for that damn wig last night. Get it together Ri Ri!

After alllll these years, Cher is still showing her geriatrics cooch to the world. Even though she's like 100 years old, her body does look better than many half her age. Great body Cher, but could you put on a Snuggie or something? Shit!

Lastly, Kanye's performance was dope, but he's always dope so that's not saying much. I'm really not sure what MTV can do next year to make the show more interesting. They've done everything already! All I know is that it was a big ol snoozer! Get it together MTV!

And My Weekend Went A Little Something Like This...

I was feeling lucky on Thursday, so I played Powerball. It was for the Saturday jackpot. Drumroll please....

I didn't win shit! The only good thing about the trip to buy that ticket was the bottle of Berry Ciroc I scored on sale which is already gone by the way.

After my ABC store excursion, I went to meet up with two of the new additions to the Housecunts of DC at Ruth's Chris. We had a birthday party to attend. Happy Birthday Mayo!

There they are. You guys met them on Thursday. We hit up the Donovan House rooftop after Ruth's Chris. It was a great party, and the music was amazing (big ups Adrian Loving), but I was freeeezzziiinnggg. Next Thursday I'm bringing a Snuggie (that's my second "Sunggie" mention today...)

As cold as I was, It didn't break my spirit. I had enough blood pumping through my veins to take gay self photos of myself.

Darleata and Norman also had their own photo shoot. At one point all four us us were snapping shots of ourselves. People were trying to greet us and say hello, but we couldn't see interrupting our picture party!

After Donovan, It was a wrap for me. I had a busy day ahead, so I needed rest. It was Fashion's Night Out in New York, and I hadn't even packed yet.

I woke up around 7 am, and threw some clothes in a bag. I left for NY around 11 am. When I arrived at the hotel, I discovered that I forgot to pack pants! I had about 20 bowties, 8 pairs of sunglasses, 6 belts, but no pants. I would have gone for a "pantless look" back in my 20's, but I couldn't get away with that now. I scurried around SOHO to find pants, and thank goodness I did!

Turned out quit nicely eh?

After I had my pants on, I left the hotel to hit the streets. Norman and I walked around SOHO, to witness the madness that was Fashion's Night Out. Every single store had a party, it was like Fashion Mardi Gras.

This is the scene outside Chanel in SOHO. It was a mad house! The line to get in was wrapped around the block. Karl Lagerfeld was on deck of course...

Damn, I love that man!

After that madness, we shot over to Bond St. to the Bellhaus party. I was invited by my friend Dani.

She looked lovely! I wish I would have gotten a shot of the booties she was wearing--to die for! We sipped champagne and viewed the new collection. We also met the owner Shawn "the most gorgeous man in the whole entire world" Bell.

My girlfriend Aureta came to meet. She was fresh from Barney's where she was personally invited to meet Daphne Guinness! Of course one of the photogs at the party was infatuated with Aureta and started a full out photo shoot in the middle of the boutique! A slight squint of the eye, and shoot!

After all that fashion, I was starving. If you can remember the meal I had the day before, you know why. Besides, Fashion's Night Out was officially over so I could eat. I celebrated with a big ol piece of meat (no homo). It was so good!

After that dinner, I was ready to turn in. We headed back to the hotel to rest up for day 2. Ummm yeah, rest? As soon as I laid my head on the pillow I heard a cacophony of machinery. They put us next to the Utility Closet. We complained, but the hotel was to capacity, it was Fashion's Night Out!

With bags under my eyes, the next morning, I went down to complain again. The attendant behind the desk nodded her head and responded by saying, "Would you like some coffee?" I was pissed, but slightly got life from her ignoring my complaint. If you go to New York anytime soon, please stay at Hotel Indigo. The rooms are cute, and the staff is rude, just like I like it! Don't stay in 1601 though.

While drunk with sleep, I went to meet my old roommate from when I lived in New York. We went to Cluny. It's our favorite brunch spot on West 12th. After breakfast we went back to her apartment. She's a big time copywriter, but in her spare time she takes stripper classes.

This is her stripper shoe collection...

...and this is Drake.

...not the rapper, her cat. Her apartment is all white, and he blends in so perfectly!

After a few twirls on her stripper pole it was off to do some shopping. I was tired that I really couldn't concentrate. I managed to do the whole 5th Avenue thing though.

The windows at Prada are so over! I love NY!

We were gonna stay another day, but I needed my bed. Before we headed back to DC, we opted for a snack at the Sak's Fifth Cafe.

It was probably one of the grossest meals I've ever eaten, but the mojito was good. It tasted like upscale Mel's Diner!

In just a few hours, I was back in DC in my bed. I slept for the better part of the day yesterday, and dreamed of moving back to New York. I'll be back one day Gotham City, you just wait...

Tom Ford

My husband Tom Ford showed his first Women's Collection yesterday to a very small intimate group.

Beyonce and Daphne Guinness were models in the show. From what I hear, the clothes are simply amazing. I can only imagine how sexy they are, being that Tom Ford oozes sexy from his pores. I'm guessing we'll just have to wait and see the first shot from his new collection. I'm literally in pins and needles.

I live for this man. We share the same birthday! I die!