Sunday, January 23, 2011

Yellow Yuck Face, Porn Star Monday!, So Confused?, Smackfest?,


Yeah, so I've been sick all week. No really, like sick. I had a 103 temperature, my throat felt like I deep-throated a Coke bottle and then gargled with bleach, my body felt like I was beaten as part of a gang initiation, and I was congested to no end! I'm still recovering, but not 100 percent yet. It seems like a lot of people were sick this past week. I was sick and stayed quarantined to my room, but I'm sure I caught the bug from some sickly nasty coughing cunt who refused to stay home until her cold ran it's course. Ugh. When I find that bitch, it's on!

I didn't do much all weekend. The highlight was me actually leaving my block on Saturday. J and I went to the movies to see 'No Strings Attached'. It was a cute movie, I really enjoyed it. The only thing that took away from the movie was this nappy headed ho sitting in front of me who refused to put her phone away during the movie. She had an iPhone, and the brightness was turned all the way up. Everyone behind her was annoyed, but of course I was the one to say something. "Excuse me, your cell phone light is very bright. Would you mind?" The Section 8 street prostitute turned around, looked at me, and kept texting. After she sent her last text, she did put the phone away. Ten minutes later her chitterling eating boyfriend turned around and said, "Would you stop kicking my seat?" He didn't realize it was the man sitting next to me, so you know I let him know about himself. That's what I get for watching a movie in Chinatown. Actually, that's what I get for even GOING to Chinatown! After that I was blown and congested, so we went home.
Yesterday I met friends early in the afternoon, and later met up with a client. You all know what went down after that....Housewives! I can't believe the season is almost done. Le Sigh! I literally may have to turn to a life of alcohol and drugs to cope without my Sunday guilty pleasure. It's honestly one of the few reasons I look forward to the next week. Fuck me!

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TYSON KOBIE

Hetero male readers please scroll to the next post, unless you care to see...

If you guys feel anything like me, you need a little Monday morning "pick me up". Perhaps porn star Tyson Kobie could put a little wind in your sail. He sure helped me this morning.




TubeHome.com Video from everywhere!



If you ladies haven't guessed already, Tyson is a sausage sniffer. Sorry, at least you can enjoy the view.


Wow, so fetch!

Ever thought about how sex would be like with a "porn star"? I'm thinking that all of your inhibitions would float away, and all of the things you always wanted to do, you'd do. Sometimes you have fear that your partner would think you were nasty or a freak, but with a porn star you could do just about anything. If you were into sticking Twinkies in your butt and having someone eat them out, you could do that shit with a porn star. (puts hand on chin and gazes)

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SO CONFUSED?

Well if you had a boner before, it's gone now. Lawrence from RHOA was on the after show with Bravo Andy last night and wore this. The Loubis were hot, but what is he wearing them with? He literally looks like a gay poltergeist. He looks like he's possessed with the spirits of Grace Jones and and Harvey Firestein. I'm so confused...

(Phaedra voice) Everybody knows that last week was Sundance, and anybody who is somebody was there. So I was nooo where to be found! To make up for my absence and to fill the gay quota, Floyd Mayweather was there. Can anyone tell me what's wrong with the picture? Why the fuck does he have those jeans tucked into those boots? I just can't take it.


You know what else I can't take? I can't take Antoine "hide ya kids, hide ya husband, hide ya wife" Dodson getting his own reality show. Im guessing this government cheese fudge packer has left the hood and is shooting a pilot for the show now. Maybe Oprah will pick it up for OWN Network? (crickets) Are we seriously gonna watch this? (silence) Well, maybe just the first show. That's it. My prediction is that it will be like 'Being Bobby Brown' without Bobby and Whitney insert Antoine Dodson. Just another piece of programming to set the Black movement back.

So gross. I'm so confused why he's still "relevant".

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SMACKFEST!


Why didn't anyone tell me about Smackfest? I just discovered it yesterday, and obviously it's been going on for years now. Basically two people stand in front of each other and just slap the shit out of their opponent. People judge to see who delivered the best slap, and some even win money. This is great. (makes a bag of popcorn)

Smackfest Throwback...




Smackfest 2011...

2 comments:

JØYC€ TH€ CHØCØLATE AMAR€TTØ said...

Antoine is riding that wave til jesus gets back.

Curious said...

Isn't life grand when you know you can beat the other two in the picture to a pulp without breaking into a sweat and still have the nuts to dress like you just escaped from Boystown.