I Have Many Questions That Need Answers...

Who told Katie Couric to ask Lil' Wayne about him drinking Syrup?  In addition, why was Lil' Wayne calling Katie "Miss Katie" like he was on a plantation? (Grammy Special that aired last night)

Why doesn't somebody get Whitney a stylist, or a faggy friend who will tell her not to wear those damn Tori Burch boots anymore?  I swear this is the second year I've seen her wear them.  She doesn't even discriminate against seasons either, she will pull those bitches out in the summer.  ...And when is she coming back with a cd?  All the time she spends walking around in those funky Tory boots, her ass could be in a studio recording a run.  And I...

What is Erykah Badu on, and why did she name her new baby Mars?  You know what the next reality show needs to be, Erykah Badu and Lauryn Hill.  We need to get a huge house and put them and all of their kids in it, and let the good times roll.

Who told Ray J that he could have a show, and why is he sooooooo wack?  First of all, he's like 5 feet tall, and wears over-sized white mink bombers.  Yeah his penis is the fucking ruler but I'm gonna have to vote NO on this one.  YES I CAN!

Are people really mad at this photo of Miley Cyrus and her friends?  The bitch is 16 years old, that's what she's supposed to do.  I could see if there wasn't an Asian kid sitting right beside her?  I'm 3o years old, and myself and my friends of other ethnicities can poke fun at each other.  I'm just waiting for the picture of Miley and her black friend to surface.  I'm sure everyone but the black friend will be eating fried chicken and watermelon.  I'd frame it, I'm not kidding... 

Leave the boy alone, how many of you guys have a fucking Gold medal?

Why do I feel like every time Neicey Nash speaks, she sets the Black Movement back 20 years.  Her performance in 'Not Easily Broken' single-handedly cancelled out the Inauguration of our First African American President.  Oh, can somebody tell her about the flowers in her weave?

Why is my President Black and on the cover of Vanity Fair's March edition looking BEAT! 

I LIVE!

Why, Oooooh why...

Recessions Make Me Mad When..., Men's Fashion Week Standout, and Let's Hear It For My Boy...

If it's not enough that yesterday Target announced the lay-off of 1,000 employees, now the recession is fucking with the couture shows?  We've always known world and current events to trickle down to fashion, for example the great Wall Street crash of 1929.  We saw hemlines go way below the knee which was a huge contrast from the flapper looks of the early twenties.  Fashion was more subdue, and a little drab at times.  There was a huge concentration on sewing at home.  That's why the Vogue patterns were such a hit.  

On the other end of the spectrum in the 80's everything was big in fashion.  Big hair, big shoulder pads, and bright vibrant colors mirrored the opulent high rolling 80's.  

Which brings us to this fucking mess of a recession in 2009.  If you love fashion, as I do, you love the couture shows.  It's such a fantasy.  I watch in amazement and gawk at these overly adorned costume-like outfits.  Socialites and various dignitaries purchase the garments, and fashion publications have a field day shooting them.  This year, most designers couldn't even participate in the couture shows because there was no money!  Besides the production of the shows, normally each couture outfit cost on average $20,000.  That's a lot of money when you're showing 20 looks.  For the designers who did show, the garments that paraded down the runway lacked the showmanship of prior years.  There was a dramatic cut down on lesage (bead work), and hand work.  

Of course my bank account has been affected in major ways by this messed up recession, but I always had couture.  Now the recession is fucking with my fantasies, I can't take it...!

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Speaking of fashion, Men's Fashion Week popped off in Paris.  Ms. Kanye is still over there acting a fool.  Get into this Fall '09 look from Thierry Mugler.

...now get into this shrug like over jacket at Raf.  I live!

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...speaking of living for something.  Congrats to my husband Troy Polamolu for making that Superbowl thing.  I'm just happy I get to watch that hair cascade from under his helmet for 3 hours straight.  Who's bringing over the 7 layer dip? 

Troy Pala..Polo da Paula..Never mind!, and Don't Be Surprised If She Ask Where The Cash At...?

His last name may be a tongue twister, but I live nonetheless.  27 year old Safety for the Pittsburgh Steelers Troy Polamalu slays.  This 5' 10" 207 pound Samoan brick house gives face, body, and hair.  I'm not even mad that he helped kicked the Redskins ass on Monday night.  With a face like that, he could do no wrong in my eyes.  I don't even know how to braid hair, but I would learn really quickly.  I'm talking I'd be doing some Allen Iverson type corn row designs in that bitch.  

Polamalu is married, and just recently had his first child.  She will be o.k., she'll get alimony and hella child support. I'd definitely keep my last name though...

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The other day drag queen Tyra Banks did a show on a girl who was "auctioning" off her virginity.  The 22 year old girl was selling "that thang" to pay for college.  The infamous Bunny Ranch in Nevada is hosting the deed.  The girl says that she has undergone two lie detector test and multiple medical exams to prove that she's a virgin.  You won't believe it, but the bidding has jumped to well over 3 million dollars.  3 million dollars?  That's some good ass pussy.  Sorry ladies, I'm sure you all have some good stuff, but 3 million dollars good?  Well, actually I have had some dick in the past that i wanted to bronze and put on my mantle.  It definitely wasn't worth that much though.  Shit...

Anyways, after doing more research, I found that this wasn't the only case of women selling their virginity.  There was also an instance where a lesbian sold her "kitty" to pay for college as well.  Too bad for her, she only got a mere $30,000.  

Why didn't I think about this when I handed my virginity away?  I was 16, and gave my "peach" away for a number 11 extra value meal, and a pack of starburst.  Maybe I can re-virginize myself and sell it.  That would kinda be like Costco charging for the free samples that they have given away over the years.  Wow, what will they think of next...