Thursday, November 06, 2008

Troy Pala..Polo da Paula..Never mind!, and Don't Be Surprised If She Ask Where The Cash At...?

His last name may be a tongue twister, but I live nonetheless.  27 year old Safety for the Pittsburgh Steelers Troy Polamalu slays.  This 5' 10" 207 pound Samoan brick house gives face, body, and hair.  I'm not even mad that he helped kicked the Redskins ass on Monday night.  With a face like that, he could do no wrong in my eyes.  I don't even know how to braid hair, but I would learn really quickly.  I'm talking I'd be doing some Allen Iverson type corn row designs in that bitch.  
Polamalu is married, and just recently had his first child.  She will be o.k., she'll get alimony and hella child support. I'd definitely keep my last name though...


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The other day drag queen Tyra Banks did a show on a girl who was "auctioning" off her virginity.  The 22 year old girl was selling "that thang" to pay for college.  The infamous Bunny Ranch in Nevada is hosting the deed.  The girl says that she has undergone two lie detector test and multiple medical exams to prove that she's a virgin.  You won't believe it, but the bidding has jumped to well over 3 million dollars.  3 million dollars?  That's some good ass pussy.  Sorry ladies, I'm sure you all have some good stuff, but 3 million dollars good?  Well, actually I have had some dick in the past that i wanted to bronze and put on my mantle.  It definitely wasn't worth that much though.  Shit...


Anyways, after doing more research, I found that this wasn't the only case of women selling their virginity.  There was also an instance where a lesbian sold her "kitty" to pay for college as well.  Too bad for her, she only got a mere $30,000.  
Why didn't I think about this when I handed my virginity away?  I was 16, and gave my "peach" away for a number 11 extra value meal, and a pack of starburst.  Maybe I can re-virginize myself and sell it.  That would kinda be like Costco charging for the free samples that they have given away over the years.  Wow, what will they think of next... 

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am so ready to sell mine... any takers?

Acoustic Soul said...

Q you are toooo fuckin' much man! You truly slay me. and I quote " I don't even know how to braid hair, but I would learn really quickly. I'm talking I'd be doing some Allen Iverson type corn row designs in that bitch.

All-Mi-T [Thought Crime] Rawdawgbuffalo said...

that was funny

Promiscuous X said...

OMG Why lol motherfuckn why LMAO. Troy is a banger lol

Ummmm yeah selling your virginity ...Hmmm NO lol..Thats sum white poeple shit LMAO..no offense but hell lmao

Q said...

Promiscuous: You are right. I couldn't see it, even if I could find that trade who took it from me at 16. I still couldn't se it!

Anonymous: No one wants it...lol

Acoustic: Thank you babe. You slay me as well...

Torrance: Thank you.

Mr. Fabulous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mr. Fabulous said...

But wait...did you hear what the ladies of the infamous bunny ranch said. One had the gul the say that she thought this girl was doing the ho business some kind of inservice because these professional hos worked to build on their craft that this amature came out of no where with no experience and got this kind of money. I was like is she serious????

I guess mere hos also have business ethics. I missed that course in college.

STAY FABULOUS!!!

Howard Cromwell
DCMF Magazine
www.dcsmostfabulous.com