Monday, December 08, 2008

Weekend Wrap-Up, I Wouldn't Even Be Mad If..., and more Brandon Parker

So, my weekend was kind of a blur.  I worked until 6 on Friday.  Jonathan came out to Tysons and picked me up.  We went to Georgetown to see these new ALIFE tennis shoes that had come out that day.  I was going to get them, but after more observation realized that they didn't give me that much life.  Later on that night, I went to the Fireplace (Uggghhhhhhh--sticking my finger in my mouth and gagging), for a quick cocktail.  It was so late in there, and so were the queens.  This trade tried to hem me up and talk to me, but I wasn't feeling him.  He gave trade all day long, but on certain words ending in a vowel I felt like he was a queen.  You can never tell these days.  Whatever happened to the days when a queen and a trade was a trade?  One week you see a particular person posted up on the wall giving masculine teas, and the next week they are popping their pussy to Beyonce 'Single Ladies'.  A mess, I say....
Anyways, I fleeced from The Fireplace and went home.  I worked early, and was glad about it, because this week started "Holiday" hours.  We are open until 9 on Saturdays.  After work I was slightly blown, and just wanted to quick bite and a cocktail.  I went to Finn and Porter inside The Embassy Suites.  As soon as I walked in I saw Omarosa standing in the lobby.  I felt like it was a conjure.  I walked into the restaurant and sat in the bar--other conjures followed.  It was too much.  I didn't ask for all of that, I just wanted a quiet dinner.
Yesterday I worked as well. My friend Lucy came through Tysons with two of her kids and wanted me to eat with them at one of my favorite Thai spots in the city.  We ate and fleeced.  I came home to start to get ready to go out.  I wanted to go to Eyebar.  I got ready and Norman came to pick me up and drop me off there--he couldn't see coming in--smart guy.  It was so tired!  The same  old queens.  Does anyone remember the last time I went there?  I said that everyone had funky breathe?  Well, last night 2 guys approached me with the stinkiest breathe ever.  Along with checking id outside, they should also check for rank breathe before letting patrons enter.  What the hell?  
I saw the usual club staples.  I showed a little grace, and got a little grace.  When I was about to leave, I saw this guy that has been persistent about "talking to me" for a while.  He asked me where I was going and asked if I would meet him at another nearby club.  I told him that I wouldn't make any promises, but would let him know. (Remember this, I'll be back to it)
So as I'm leaving I see random people outside that I know finishing up cigarettes.  I chat with them for a bit, they go back in, and i begin to fleece down the street.
As I'm walking I hear, "She had the nerve to wear a fake fur to the club..."  I stopped in my tracks and turned around slowly to see 3 of the most tired queens (with no coats on at all, mind you) I've seen in a while.  "What did you say?", I said.  "Oh, you can keep walking sweetie", says the main queen.  I pumped back up to where they were standing and politely asked who they were.  In the most monotone voice ever I told them that I have never been a member of PETA, and neither should they.  I asked them why they had to be so nasty, and said that (this was the ruler) they should try to "channel all of that hate and negative energy into something positive".  They got life and got in after realizing that my coat was not faux.  They are lucky they caught me on a subdued night, if they would have caught Quincy Fierce--Awww Lawd!  I would have pumped back into the club and retrieved the appropriate banjee house girls to slash their faces.  It doesen't even call for all of that though.  I thought "Going Green" had to do with the environment and not jealous hatin' ass bitches.
Anyways, after that I pumped down the street to meet the guy who was on my ovaries about meeting up.  I shot him a text and asked if he were still there.  He replied "Yes".  I walked into the club, and immediately saw him.  He was all up in some nasty queens face.  Dancing and grinding all up on him, and being gross.  I got a cocktail, and stood in the cut.  I sent him a text that said, " I may stop through".  I watched as he retrieved his phone and sent me a reply message.  I finished my cocktail quickly and fleeced without him ever knowing I was there.  30 minutes later this bitch ass nigga sends me a text that read: Where are you?  Can I come over?.  I picked up the phone and called him.  I told him to go to the mother-fucking queens house in the red shirt from the club.  He was stunned.  "You were there", he said.  I never answered yes or no, but gave him a play by play of what they were doing.  I simply explained to him, that if you invite me somewhere have the decency to look out for me.  It's a respect thing.  After I read him, I went to bed.  What a fucking weekend!

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I wouldn't even be mad if Castro a.k.a Supreme knocked on my door right now dress as the Comcast cable man.  And he...never mind!


I wouldn't even be mad if either one of these trades shot me.  I would get life and take the bullet out myself because they are so fine...Wouldn't that be over?  




I wouldn't even be mad if someone bought me these new LV tennis shoes.  You know I live for Stephen Sprouse!

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Remember my sweet baby child Brandon Parker?  Check him out on www.loveismyrealname.blogspot.com.  I'm so proud of him!




photos property of Tarrice Love

9 comments:

Kin'shar said...

ummm, as far as the word "trade"...well I dont know what that means, dont know what kind of shoes your talking about and the dude with the fairly new tat...was that damn cute...not to shoot me...hahaha, your so funny.


how are you?

Joey Bahamas said...

I knew it wasn't just me that thought Eye Bar was a little...um...dull.

"I thought "Going Green" had to do with the environment and not jealous hatin' ass bitches."- I lost it...almost got me fired!

Yes for the trade, and yes for those muthafucking shoes hunny...that's going on the Xmas list! Mwah!!! LOVE!!!

JB

Q said...

Kin'shar: Trade means a masculine type of guy...lol.
Im good sweets how are you?

fuzzy said...

Ummm Comcast guy? Wait wait wait!!! Nooooo I wanna hear details? Did I read correctly? Castro the cable guy? yesssss!!!

You better watch Brandon, because if he comes round my way i will put a ring on it! lol

Anonymous said...

Did Jonathan design that pump?
Please get me a pair.

Corey Keith said...

LOL! Getting shot by trade is hilarious!

thegayte-keeper said...

not a bad weekend...certainly made me smile....(^_^)

Mr. Fabulous said...

I say, why are the queens always hating... WHY??? I really don't get it. I had a similar experience on Friday at the Fireplace. The difference; the queens don’t to come out their mouth to me. It was more like I extended my hand to meet some queen who was talking to someone I was hanging out with, trying not to be rude. He replied, oh I know exactly who you are, everyone knows who you are (not extending his hand). I said "Oh shit...another hater". Normally, I would ignore the shade and continue with my evening but this time I asked the queen, “what’s the problem now?” Apparently, years ago I fought one of his house members when the Edge Nightclub was open...yes, I said the Edge that closed about 4 years ago. Then one night while I was out partying with friends in VIP with bottles of champagne, I popped the bottle and a drop few drops of champagne got on him. After I apologized he wanted to make a big deal about it. I told him. This is my VIP suite and if you have any issues you can excuse your fat ass. I think I had security remove him and his crew. After he explained this to me I told me that I had no idea who he was but that I apologize. He then followed up by saying “I knew you were partying and drinking and it happened YEARS ago. He was almost in tears that I actually apologized. I followed up with the apology with asking if he wanted a drink. After talking with him for a few more minutes I found it hard to believe that this person would place so much energy into hating on me because of something that happened over 4 years ago. When I asked him this question he was dumbfounded. I told him in the future if he has any issues with someone that he’s using so much energy to hate on he should use that energy to simply have a conversation with the person. Nine times out of 10 they will have no idea that you have any issue with them. Therefore your hate is nothing but a waste of energy. He agreed and now thinks we’re the best of friends. I can tell I’m getting older and more mature because not even a year ago, I would have laughed in his face, made some catty comment, raised my glass, smiled and walked away. Man, how 30 has changed me.

STAY FABULOUS!!!

Howard Cromwell
DCMF Magazine
www.dcsmostfabulous.com

B.Parker said...

Thank You My Dear Sweet Sister!!!!