Monday, September 14, 2009

Weekend Wrap-Up--'The September Issue' Edition, OMG the VMA's!

OMG, everybody be quiet! We have lots to discuss. I hope everyone's Monday morning got off to a HORRIBLE start. I'm talkin' about flat tires Starbuck's was outta coffee run in the stockings just broke the heel off my new Louboutin fender bender traffic morning--just real fucked up! LOL... Anyways, the weekend as pretty mild. It started off on Friday with everyone meeting up to pre-game for 'The September Issue'. Thanks to good 'ol faithful Ruth's Chris (big up Steven), we were right where we needed to be when we arrived at the theatre--TIPSY! We pounded 2 rounds like a real "G" should!

This is us at the concessions. Who dresses up in pieces to go to Chinatown theatre? WE DO! Nik, I like your caption to our pic, but my theme of the night was inspired by Rick Ross' 'Money Makes Me Cum'. (clears throat to recite)

"She a real bitch, so she gotta stunt. She get her weave done at lest 5 times a month. She don't call 'em purses, Bitch call 'em bags. I don't know the names, I know they cost some stacks..." Fuck with it! Anyways, I swear I saw a cunt in Parasuco's and Reebok high tops looking at us like we were crazy, but fuck it! I'm going to the movies next week in a full Lady Gaga costume.

The movie from what I remember was great (blame it on the...). There were some amazing shots of the clothes. It was also great to see Anna get into her staff's ass a couple of times. One of the standout moments in the movie was that over-sized queen Andre Leon Talley playing tennis in FULL Louis Vuitton drag--don't forget his LV trunks as well! For tennis? I die! After the movie it was a whirlwind. We went from Policy, to FLY, to Current. My club passport is full of fucking stamps.

After we finished our "Club Tour 2009", we went to Manny and Olga's for some greasy pizza. That shit is good as hell when you're tipsy. Tipsy equals drunk. These were some of the conjures in line in front of us at the pizza joint. The cunt with the orange glasses gives me 'Karma Chameleon' Culture Club teas! She is so over, and so is her balding trade (sorry).
In the midst of me dancing like there was no tomorrow, I forgot that I had to work the next morning. FUCK! I woke up at around 8 am with my Blood Alcohol Level way over the legal driving limit. Good thing I was taking the train. Was it? The Fucking Tea Party protesters were in town on Saturday! I stumbled my way through the "Obama Haters", and found a seat at the platform next to him...

...this motherfucker doesn't need to be protesting shit! His greasy 'Biggest Loser' ass needs to be at home or somebody's gym. I wouldn't be talking about him like that if I didn't over hear (I was eavesdropping) him bashing Obama with the couple next to him. His ass couldn't even face them, he was talking to the sideways because he couldn't even turn around. Lose weight you "Obama Hater", and tell me what your dick looks like. I'm sure you haven't seen it in YEARS!
Once I got to work, things were alright. I had clients come in, which made my day go by pretty fast. Afterwork, I had a mega craving for Chik-fil-A! I made my way over to Ballston mall (I took a time machine back to the early 90's to go there), and SLAYED 2 sandwiches, a waffle fry, and a lemonade in about 8 minutes flat. I don't play around with Chik-fil-A, that's my shit. When I got home, I had a full stomach (so I had "the itis"). I took the "Shower of Life", and went to slumberville.
Yesterday work was work. I rushed home to prepare myself for the VMA's. And they went a lil sumthin' like...

So the MTV Video Music Awards were broadcast live last night from Radio City Music Hall. I don't think I have EVER missed an MTV Award show. They usually never disappoint me (unlike another music video channel that caters to African American viewers***coughs***BET).
For the most part everyone looked great, and the show was amazing.

Diddy showed up with his group 'Dirty Money'. They looked great, but am I they only one that sees a "half a hit wonder" here? Damn, after Biggie, Diddy can't get an act to stick. They will normally give you one good single, and then disappear off the face of the earth. By the way, where is Cherri Dennis?

Solange's dress was FIYAH, but she looked horrible in it! I'm sorry she needs to borrow one of Beyonce's many lace fronts and get it poppin'! She looks like Florida Evan's young rich niece. She does not have a face for short hair. Why everybody gotta be Amber Rose? Amber Rose isn't even Amber Rose!

Beyonce looked amazing, and she rocked her 'Single Ladies' performance. Did anyone get into her groovin' while her man was performing? I bet Jay slayed that ass last night!
Oh, I wish she would have changed into another dress after her performance though. 90 percent of your fan base are "the gays". Give them what they want and change next time B! If I could, I would change like 8 times a day for no reason at all, but at work though! I'm talking full outfit changes with shoes and all! No other reason but pure "faggotry"!

Cassie looked beat as hell, but I must say I am over the shaved head. She let that queen Diddy talk her into shaving the side of her head, and now what the fuck is she gonna do? Shave the whole shit off, or grow it out? Whatever you're gonna do Cassie, do it quick! We're over it!

Lady Gaga's performance last night was...ummm? The performance was definitely different, but I loved it! If you're not a creative, artistic person, you probably didn't get it. She definitely pushes buttons, and is not afraid to take risk. Her ass changed 3 times, and slayed each time! Her costume/couture game is sick! I love how she thanked "God and the gays". You can't make it in the music industry with either one!

I can't even say how happy I was for Janet and the Michael tribute. She rocked it! I love 'Scream', it's one of my favorites. I can't wait to see the MJ movie though. Does it creep anyone else out that the tour was called 'This is It'? Is that a freaky foreshadowing or what? I've told you guys before when I die--no memorial! I want a fashion show with key pieces from year 1978 up until the year I die (which will be 3000 never--I found the key to eternal life). I swear if you people don't comply with my wishes, my ghost will haunt each and every one of you mother fuckers reading this. Have you ever been haunted by a queen's ghost? I don't think you ever wanna experience that! Fuck with it!

(Look at the camel toe on Amber Rose! Geez!) Well, I'm sure you all saw Kanye's display of queenliness last night at the awards. I'm sorry, but I live for Ms. Kanye. She doesn't give a fuck! It's kind of liberating. Who else can get up on stage and grab the mic from a little white girl, and say that Beyonce was robbed! Furthermore what trade admits to living for the 'Single Ladies' video? All you fucking hypocrites that say you're not gonna listen to her music anymore are liars! Wait until Kanye pumps out another sick track. Your ass will be in motion right along with mine! This is definitely not Kanye's first outburst, and definitely won't be his last. My favorite would be "George Bush doesn't care about Black People"! I live! If you forgot, refresh you memory below. Happy Monday fuckers!


Chic Noir said...

on the obama hater- bluecross and blue sheild will not insure his fat butt. He is too much of a risk, one chez burger and here comes a heart attack.

I love how she thanked "God and the gays". You can't make it in the music industry with either one!
You got that right.

Fuzzy said...

I lived for the VMAs. and for the record my Monday was rockin! :D

ummm the winner of the biggest loser needs to shut the hell up. I thought about this, we weren't any better when we were bashing bush and he was the biggest supporter? he was prolly cussin us out at every opportunity!