And My Week Went A Lil' Somethin' Like This..., Where's The Beef?, Caught By Q, Crush of the Week: Taylor Lautner, and Mini Thug?

Good morning pecker junkies, long time no blog huh? I've been sooo busy with other projects, more on that later though. Jam to this new track by Drake while you read what I did this weekend. The song is called "Light Up", and features the Jigga himself. It's so dope!

Drake - Light Up Feat. Jay-Z by ataricoolkids

I'm just a tad irritated this morning, because my roommate thinks our apartment is the 'Jersey Shore' House. Shortly after 3 am, I was awakened by the cacophony of what sounded like drunken sailors. Drunken sailors=my roommate's extremely intoxicated friends who were "crashing" over. I'm over 30, I don't crash at someone's apartment after a drunken night, so tacky. I was more pissed because it's extremely rare that I contemplate getting a full nights rest and last was one of the nights where I thought I could squeeze in perhaps 6 hours? I normally average 4 hours a night. I have mastered the art of napping, at times even standing up, or even while holding a conversation with someone. It's all about the quick power nap. Now, I'm so tired and I have a million things to do. Oh, the drunken ship of sea men are fast asleep though. Well, until I get up and blast some Linkin Park...

My weekend was pretty mild for the most part. I hope you guys got out to enjoy some of the warm weather. It was so humid on Friday though, the air was so fucking moist. I absolutely hate the Summer time! I have no clue what to wear. Well, I'll take that back. I DO know what to wear, I'd just combust if I DID wear it. And combust is what I did on Friday night!

I went over to the No Kings/ReadySetDC Art Showcase. It featured talented artist from all over the city. My gorgeous girl, Ky'Leigh Wilson was on hand to showcase her amazing art!

Breathtaking!

Check out the rest of here stuff here...

The showcase was held in a condo building where every artist had their own condo to show their work. Here an artist put a whimsical twist on the pornography industry. His condo even had a peep show room!

Other art featured at the event...

...and of course my man Brandon Hill was on deck. He's so dope it hurts!

Congrats on an amazing event guys!

After the showing friends decided to go to Donovan House rooftop for a nightcap. When we arrived the doorman was so abrupt, and said that it was a "private party". Did this fucker have any clue that I'm a trailblazer in this DC nightlife shit! I was pounding shots of patron, and participating in all types of illegal activity while he was crawling around in Huggies! Once upstairs we saw that the crowd was wack.org. We ordered a round of drinks, and downed them like rockstars. We couldn't be seen up there with those people. I had on brand new short shorts, and my friend Aureta was wearing these...

The new Louis sequined booties. They weren't ready for all of that fashion all at once, so we had to leave quickly.

My ace Dwayne, his friend Justin, and I went to the next spot. I heard that U St. Music Hall was supposed to be good, so we headed over there. Remind me to not listen to the fucker who told me that shit. It was so lame. I could have sworn I say a pair of glow sticks. I ran out before anyone spotted me.

After that atrocity, we headed over to PURE for my girl Ms. KP's book signing party. The book is called 'The Dirty Divorce', and I'm in it! I started reading it on Saturday, and I'm almost done. The book is set in D.C., so it's refreshing to read a book with references to familiar places in it.

We stayed at PURE for a bit, because the music was cute, and so was the eye candy. I had "eye sex" with at least 3 people. It's the safest sex one can have. It's all in your head. I'm doing it now...lol.

After all that "eye fucking", I needed a...

...SLURPEE! Yeah, I needed a SLURPEE--that's what I needed. After the late night snack attack, I said my goodbyes to Justin and Dwayne and made my way home.

Yesterday I worked. It was dreadful. I needed to take myself on a date, to forget about the horrible day at work. I went to see my husband Diddy in 'Get Him To The Greek'!

The movie was so funny. It's definitely my type of humor. Sane people may not get some of the jokes, but if you're sick and twisted knock yourself out.

Diddy did such a great job in the movie. Look at him, he's so dreamy...

It just looks like his nut sack smells nice. You gotta appreciate a man with a nice smelling nut sack, it will take you far in life.

After the movie I came home and watched some of the MTV Movie Awards. It was wack to me, so I wasn't paying it too much attention. Before I knew it, I was counting sheep like a drug dealer counts money only to be awakened by "The Situation" pounding beers in my living room. Fuck my Life!

Happy Monday Bitches!

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Where's The Beef?

I'm sure you guys have gotten wind of the Lil Kim/Nicki Minaj beef by now. Apparently, Lil Kim and Ray J went on Nicki Minaj saying that she should recognize who mad way for her. Then I'm guessing Drake and Nicki had some words to say while they performed together recently.

First of all, I don't want Ray-J saying anything. I know it has nothing to do with Lil Kim and Nicki's beef, but I'd like to go on record to say that Ray-J could quite possibly be THE wackest person on earth. He better be glad God blessed him with that enormous "peen", because otherwise he'd be fucked! (exhale) Now back to the beef...

Nicki is great and all, but Lord knows she's no Kim. Kim has has countless number one singles, and even fucked the late great Biggie Smalls. Just from the Biggie Smalls "fuckage" she wins the beef. Lil Kim was the first female rapper to rap about all of the things gay men wanted to hear about, designer shoes, sex, and money.

Nicki is killing the game right now, but she hasn't even released her own cd yet? I just need her to give respect where respect is due. That's like Teairra Mari trying to come for Beyonce, chile please. Take a number, have a seat, and wait your turn!

Where can I get a t-shirt made that reads, "Team Kim"? Let me know...

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Caught By Q

I watched this girl on the train the other day go from a clean face, to looking like a drag queen in less than 10 minutes. She painted her face down! She drew on her eyebrows, contoured her cheekbones, and slapped on tons of mascara to complete the tranny transformation. I should have asked her for a before and after shot, that woulda been cute huh?

Could you guys do me a favor please? If you see me losing my hair, but trying to still hold on to a ponytail, please tie me down and whoop my ass! It's kinda like an inverted mullet, party on the sides and business on top! You know I travel with pretty much EVERYTHING in my bag when I travel on the train, so I had a pair of scissors. It took all of the strength in me to not grab the frail ponytail, and cut it off! Get it together grandpa!

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Crush of the Week: Taylor Lautner

With the new Twilight movie coming out on June 3oth, I thought it'd be fitting to have Taylor Lautner be my Crush of the Week.

Thank God he's officially "legal" now so we can all stop feeling like R. Kelly! His body is a wonderland. He's mainly the reason why all of those horny teenage girls stand in line to see those damn 'New Moon' movies.

Hopefully for us cougars, there will be many shirtless scenes in the new movie. We'll just have to wait and see. You can thank me later Erika...lol.

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Mini Thug?

Check out this video of a little boy who can be no more than 2 years old rapping along to Wacka Flacka's 'O Let's Do It'. I bet his trifling ass ghetto parents haven't even taught him his ABC's yet. Even though I'm embarrassed to say, it IS pretty fucking cute. I'm watching, but don't be surprised if Child Protective Service gets an "anonymous" call! I was just waiting for his dad to give him a gun to hold. Check them out, they are so proud of the their son reciting a ghetto anthem. Welcome to Niggerfest 2010".

What a far cry from why my mom made me recite Bible verses as a kid. Just look at how I turned out (side eye)...

It's Lil' Kim Day!, and "Housecunt" Thursday...

Lil Kim Day!

Today I'm starting to tailgate for the Lil' Kim concert I'm going to on June 5th. You guys are lucky I didn't start a full month ahead of time. You have no clue how this woman changed my life? Her raunchy sexually charged lyrics taught me how to tap into my inner freak. Not only did she teach me about fellatio and butt fucking, she also threw gasoline on my flame of being addicted to designer labels. When I heard Lil Kim rapping about Chanel and Dolce, it glorified high fashion in a garish ghetto way that both excited and annoyed me--I can't explain it.

When I was just a young fag in college, I would play Lil' Kim's 'Hardcore' cd to death. It was the cd of choice to get ready to when going out on the town. Something about the opening lyrics on "Big Mama Thang" sent chills down my spine...

"I used to be scared of the dick

Now I throw lips to the shit, handle it like a real bitch

Heather Hunter, Janet Jack-me

take it in the butt. Yah, Jazz whah

I got land in the Switzerland, even got sand in the Marylands

Bahamas in the spring, baby, it's a big momma thing

can't you tell by the diamonds in my rings

that's how many times I wanna cum, twenty-one

and another one, and another one, and another one

24 carot nigga, that's when I'm fuckin wit' the average nigga

word to Shaft, brothers be battin' me and oh

don'tya like the way I roll, and play wit' my pussy

tell me what's on your mind when your tongues in the pussy

Is it marriage? Damn, this bitch is bad.

baby carrriage? Damn, I love that ass.

shit no, on a dime shit is mine, got to keep em comin all the time

Why?"

Fucking classic!

409-s_carter-big_momma_thang_(feat_lil_kim)-ts2

Found at: - FilesTube

You may not agree with her "fashion" choices, or her stint with plastic surgery, but you must admit that Lil' Kim is legendary.

(steps onto podium) Hear ye, hear ye! By the power vested in me, quincyjones66.blogspot.com hereby makes Thursday May 20, 2010 Lil' Kim day! So in honor of this day, put on a fur bikini, a blonde wig, and fuck a fat greasy Black man rapper. Do it now! All across America I wanna see women (and men if you want) in pasties and Versace denim! Thank you! (steps off podium)

LIL KIM - CRUSH ON YOU from LA BELLA SOUL on Vimeo.

Lil Kim - Suck My Dick (Moth RMX) by themoth

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"Housecunt" Thursday featuring Ms. "Urka" (Erika)

Hey everyone, it's Erika aka Mrs. Taylor Lautner. I don't have much going on in my life, its such a "snooze fest" right now. So, I thought I'd share a little about what I do. Yes, I know it's a surprise but I do really have a job. How do you think I pay for all of the "Housecunt" dinners and shit? What did u think I sit around all day posting Taylor Lautner and Johnny Depp pics on my Facebook?

Anyway, some of u don't know that I'm a government worker, or as some people like to say "guvament worker". I've been working for 10yrs at my job and most days its very rewarding dealing w/ the people on "WELFARE". I hate when my customer's use that word it's so outdated !!! And another thing I don't know why we have to call them our Customer's because they ain't buying shit they sit on their asses (some of them) and do nothing then when the 1st of the month ( Que Bone Thugs and Harmomy)...

bone thugs n harmony-1st of tha month by Remob

comes around, and if their shit ain't on the card they have a fit! They call you cussing and calling you all types of bitches, tricks , hoes, sluts, marks and mark ass tricks! I do get a bit of life from the tongue lashings though...lol.

What I don't understand is how the same chicks can have babies by the same person but yet he's not doing anything to help you take care of those babies. If he didn't help with the 1st one, then why have baby #2, 3,4 , 5 with his ass? Stupid ass Tricks ! Then They lie to us to protect the deadbeat daddies, but yet he's sitting in the WELFARE office w/ the new baby momma "LaCreatia" that lives in ur same projects? Just busting nuts in every crevice and hole that he can find with no hope or chance of responsibility! Where dey do dat at? U see all types of shit on my job.

They also train us in Civil Rights and Diversity. Let me tell you, the training is much needed. We deal with an array of gays, lesbians, transgenders (we share make-up tips), transexuals mexicans, africans, drug addicts, alcoholics and child abusers (phew taking a deep breathe), one-legged midgets, blind car jackers, bearded women, and that ain't the half of it! If anyone thought WELFARE was just for Blacks, well not anymore. Due to this bitch of a recession, I see an assortment of Colors and "Clear People" too w/ their hand out needing help. I'm not saying they don't deserve it, but don't fraud or abuse the system it's intended for people who are on their last pack of oatmeal and kool aid! Remember Good Times? Florida's Black ass made that same sticky oatmeal every morning, but they still made it out of the Jungle! So remember Keep Ur head above the water, making a way we can... Temporary lay offs! Good Times! Easy Credit Rip offs! Good Times...

Ain't we Lucky we Got Them ( break it down ) Goood Timessss Yeeaaahhhh MMMMMMMM

(hanging my arm above my head like the man in the painting ).

Lil' Richard vs. Lil' Kim: Two Lils Face Off...

Kimberly Denise Jones a.k.a. Lil' Kim was born on July 11, 1975.  Jones grew up in New York where she met rapper Notorious B.I.G. and the rest of her Junior Mafia crew.  They were all recognized as being extraordinary rappers and were signed to Bad Boy in the early 90's.  Lil' Kim's first studio c.d. "Hard Core" is a bona fide classic.  Kim's killer delivery and raw sexual lyrics took the rap world by storm.  In 2005, her c.d. 'The Naked Truth' was awarded 5 mics from The Source magazine.  She is the only female to have achieved that so far.  Also in 2005, Kim was found guilty of conspiracy and perjury for lying to a grand jury about a friend's involvement in a 2001 shooting.  Kim was sentenced to a year and a day, and served her time weave and make-up free in a Philadelphia detention center.  I actually think the bitch had even more plastic surgery done in jail, because her cheeks didn't give me all of that when she went in...?  What do ya'll think?

(sidebar:  I don't ever want an early shot of Lil Richard beating his face shirtless in a vintage four door Chevy while a trade watches!  I don't ever want that, this picture is everything to me!)

Rev. Richard Wayne Penniman, b.k.a. Lil' Richard was born in the dirty dirty in 1932.  At an early age Penniman attended church and was inspired by the style of dress (make-up), and vocal techniques of early gospel singers.  He began to play the piano, and was recognized early on to a great.  His style was considered to be a mix of boogie-woogie, with heavily accentuated back-beats, funky saxophone grooves, and raspy vocals.  This lady helped lay the foundation (literally...)  for rock and roll music.  Her hits "Tutti-Frutti", "Lucille", and "Long Tail Sally" have influenced generations of artists.  In 1957, she said that the Lord called her to be a minister, and attended Bible College.  Maybe that's where she took "Face Beating 101", cause her make-up is always set!  

Lil Kim and Lil Richard Face off.  Who is the most fierce Lil?  

Kim starts off strong from the gate, grabs her camel toe, and recites...

I used to be scared of the dick
Now I throw lips to the shit
Handle it like a real bitch
Heather Hunter, Janet Jack-me
Take it in the butt, yah, yazz wha
I got land in Switzerland, even got sand in the Marylands
Bahamas in the spring, baby, it's a Big Momma thing
Can't tell by the diamonds in my rings

Lil Richard shouts, "Shut Up"!  

Good golly miss Molly, sure like to ball,
Good golly miss Molly, sure like to ball,
When you're rockin' and a rollin', can't hear your mama call.

Before reciting her next lyric, Lil Kim asks Richard what shade of foundation that he is wearing.  He says, "Shut Up!", and Lil Kim proceeds...

I've been a lot of places, seen a lot of faces
Ah hell I even fuck with different races
A white dude - his name was John
He had a Queen Bee Rules tattoo on his arm, uh
He asked me if I'd be his date for the prom
and he'd buy me a horse, a Porsche and a farm
Dan my nigga from Down South
Used to like me to spank him and cum in his mouth
And Tony he was Italian 
And he didn't give a fuck 
That's what I liked about him
He ate my pussy from dark till the mornin
Called his girl up and told her we was bonin
Puerto Rican papi, used to be a Deacon
But now he be sucking me off on the weekend
And this black dude I called King Kong
He had a big ass dick and a hurricane tongue

Even though he is upset, Lil Richard was mouthing the lyrics to this song.  He composes himself, lets out a loud "Woooooooooooooooo", and sings....

I got a gal, named Sue, she knows just what to do,
I got a gal, named Sue, she knows just what to do,
She rocks to the East, she rocks to the West,
She is the gal that I love best,
Tutti frutti, ...

Kim is a beast man.  She recites these lyrics while getting botoxed in the face...

Does she do it like me?
Does she work that body?
Throw that ass like pu-pump-pump-pu-pump that hottie
Do she handle it like she got a deep throat?
I mean suck that cock 'til she start to choke
Does she like to have sex high off the X?
Try it with me and tell me who's the best
Does she like to wear thongs that you can eat?
Do she fuck your brains out 'til you fall asleep?

If Lil Richard were wearing pearls, he'd clutch them.  Stage hands roll out a piano, anda stylist brings a glittery outfit change before Richard shouts...

Well, long tall Sally, she's built for speed,
She's got everything that uncle John need,
Oh baby, yes baby, woo baby, havin' me some fun tonight.

Well, I saw uncle John with bald headed Sally,
He saw aunt Mary coming and he ducked back in the alley, 
Oh baby, yes baby, woo baby, havin' me some fun tonight.

Lil Kim laughs and says, "Look at this dude right here"...

You da best, Da Da
Now watch mama, go up and down dick to jaw crazy
Uhh! Say my name baby 
Before you nut, I'ma dribble down your butt cheeks
Make you wiggle, then giggle just a little
I'm drinkin babies, then I cracks for the Mercedes
Act shady, and feel my three-eighty 
or the raven, oohwee I see
Your girl ain't a "Freak Like Me", or Adina

Awww shit, Lil Richard is mad now.  I knew this was coming....

Bama lama, bama loo, bama lama, bama loo,
Bama lama, bama loo, bama lama, bama loo,
Now I dig her style, she's like a drive me wild with
Bama lama, bama loo.

I asked my baby for kiss, she shook her head like this,
I asked my little girl for kiss, she shook her head around like this,
She said woooo-oh, yeah.

"That's it, go to your corners", says the referee.  Lil Kim rips off her shirt to reveal her breast with only quarters glued to her nipples and changes her lace front.  "What is she doing?", says the announcer.  Lil Kim grabs the mic and shouts....

Wanna bumble wit the Bee hahh?
BZZZZT, throw a hex on a whole family 
Dressed in all black like the Omen 
Have your friends singin 'This is for my homey' 
And you know me, from makin niggaz so sick
Floss in my 6 with the Lex on the wrist
If it's Murder, you know She Wrote it 
German Luger for your ass bitch, deep throated

Now you wanna feel the room cause it's platinum coated

take your pick, 

Got a firearm you shoulda toted.

Suck a dick!

Whoa, that was crazy!  The crowd is shouting for Lil Kim, and Lil Richard stands there in a pout.  The winner is....

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Lil Kim!  Lil Richard screams, "Shut Up!  They never gave me nothin'.  I invented Rock and Roll.  Nobody ever Rocked or Rolled before me!  I can't believe this, I was wearing make-up before there was ever a MAC!  Actually I invented the Big Mac.   I want a recount!  This is ridiculous, I'm a Hall of Flamer, I mean Famer!  Get off of my suit, these are rhinestones!  Ain't nobody even thought about wearing rhinestones before me, as a matter of fact, I been wearing rhinestones since the Flintstones!"  (escorted off stage by security)

Better luck next time Richard...