Tuesday, August 31, 2010

"You Must Don't Know Bout Me...?", Wax On--Wax Off, and The Bitch Set Me Up!

Today Beyonce's "Irrepaceable" is very fitting...





(deep breath) This is simply a PSA for all my readers, so sit down and listen dammit. Today I'm urging you to listen to the voice in the back of your head while you're in a relationship. So many times we hear a voice say, "get the fuck out", but you ignore it. We have many reasons why we do...(A) The person you're in a relationship asks you to stay (B) You wanna stay because of the "L" word (love, not lesbian) (C) You're afraid of being by yourself (D) You invested time into it, and you don't wanna feel like you're "wasting" time (E) The sex is good (F) You're being supported financially (G) You guys live together (H) They "seem" like a nice person (I) You don't feel like looking for another mate, and say "fuck it".

I literally could go on and on. I'm telling you now get the fuck out! Especially when ALL of my readers are exceptional people, and we normally end up compromising our list of requirements for a mate, and end the end you wanna what? Beyonce says in the song that, "I can have another you in a minute." How about I ALREADY had another you. Many of the people we tend to "settle" with don't even deserve to wash our laundry, and we know that after the first month, but tend to put that voice in our head on mute. Take it off mute people--LISTEN. Trust me, it i'll be a lot better in the end.


Mother fuckers these days not only have a clue of who they are or what they want, but even scarier, they tend to tell you what they feel you wanna hear. Beware of these psychopaths walking around disguised as nice men. They buy you drinks, tell you you're beautiful, open the door for you, but all the while are plotting to fuck your homegirl. Mind you, your homegirl is nice, but looks like she was hit in the face with a pillowcase of quarters. It makes no difference to these "psychopaths", because it's not about the person or their looks--it's just another hole to screw.

Don't settle. Play the field. Be Smart. Protect your assets (lesson from yesterday). Please, you must don't know 'bout me... (deep breath)



Speaking of pretty girls that were wronged...



Wax museum Madame Tussauds will be unveiling a figure of pop star Rihanna today. The statue of Rihanna will be wearing an outfit from the singers own closet consisting of a black lace corset, black fitted jacket, black skinny pants and black silk heels.


It's so not funny, but if I were Rihanna, I would want my wax figure to look like the picture from the infamous night...



I would so do it if I were her. Can you imagine the kids crying and running away from it? How about the Japanese tourist with their fanny packs smiling and giving the peace sign in front of it? It's something so dark and wrong about it, that makes it right. Oh shut up, have a sense of humor!


Talking about humorous...


Paris Hilton was arrested this past weekend for having cocaine in her purse. She says it's not hers (crickets). She says that someone "set her up" That's like someone coming into my house and seeing all my shoes, that are my size nonetheless, and me saying they're not mine?
Paris just needs to own up to skiing, and go back to the slammer again.

In the words of Marion Barry circa 1990, "Bitch set me up . . . . I shouldn't have come up here . . . goddamn bitch!" The only thing different in the Paris situation, is that at least we don't have her on tape taking swigs from a crack pipe. Well, at least not yet. Good one Paris!


4 comments:

Sistar & said...

needed that..... IN the Words of Maya Circa 90 something " I'm Movin On, Movin on on Ill be Movin On"

Anonymous said...

Yayyy! Glad you are back! Been waiting on a word from you. I know you will have plenty to say, and many fashions to show.

@slimfitrhetoric said...

Sigh.

As a Brownie Scout in this illustrious lifestyle I've taken to studying the art of Geisha and I'm too busy procuring a collection of designer sunglasses to deal with relationships, but excellent tips to the readers!

*cue the Black/White relations scene from Jungle Fever* "They are all dogs, I tell you they are all dogs!"

Rihanna could have a wax figure of her cooch and I'd live! Paris, oh Paris that all I can say! Bumps for EVERYONE!

Meka Monroe said...

O-M-G!!! This post is NOTHING but the absolute truth...especially about love and men.

I don't want to sound like a man-bashing b*tch...BUT f*ck it. Yes these guys don't know what the hell they want...yes they will act like a perfect gentleman (acting like your the only one...when your #21) and yes they usually end-up sleeping with the so-called homie that looks like a pitbull on crack-cocaine.

**takes deep breath** With all that said...I still want a f*ckin man. **BBM cry face** Now isn't that the dumbest sh*t you've ever heard. SMDH. LOL!!!